Elective C-Section but I want my mum in with me!

[Holsftm]

First time poster, and would be extremely grateful for any advice/opinions/firsthand experience from anyone as I'm extremely anxious!

So the elective section is NOT the route I wanted to go down. Heart was set on a normal vaginal birth with my mum and fiancé by my side.

Unfortunately, my baby has other plans and has decided to adopt an extended beech position. We've tried ECV which sadly failed, baby refusing to budge so sadly the decision has been taken out of my hands and I'm booked in for a section.

I'm absolutely fine and accepting (to a degree) with the operation concept. I accept it's not ideal but it's the safest option for baby and that's that. BUT the fact that I can only have one person with me in theatre which is of course naturally presumed to be the father of the baby, is legitimately breaking my heart.

I want my mum with me. I want my mum to be physically present when my baby enters the world like I had initially imagined she would during a natural birth. But morally, how can I expect my fiancé to not be there??

It'd be great if he was super squeamish and/or scared of hospitals or blood etc and he chose to not be present and would prefer to wait outside for me, but he wants to be there no doubt about it. I haven't actually broached this with him, I mean, where do you even begin without hurting his feelings?!?

Help! Even if it's to call me a disgusting human being for wanting such a rotten thing! I'm having the section in ten day's time and the stress of this in my head is genuinely driving me up the wall 😥😣😫

Birth is not a spectator sport, so speak with your fiancé he might be ok with taking a step back. There is nothing wrong with wanting you mother there. Having a honest conversation with you finance might also help you be more calmer. Or you might even be in for a pleasant surprise like me when I told Dh I would prefer to have my mother there if c-section was needed. He thanked me as it took some pressure of him. He admitted he preferred the old way of the husband being called after the baby was born and then meet his clean baby. Ds1 was indeed born via c-section after failing to dialate and dh asked my mom to go with me. She was very surprised to hear that as I had only discussed this dh but she gratefully accepted. Only to feel very guilty after ds1 was out and I had to calm her down saying it's ok, you didn't steal his thunder ect. He still talks about how magical it was to see his son for the first time in the recovery room after having washed his face and straighten himself up a bit (he actually changed his outfit (we lived 5min away from the hospital)).

I had a c section and the staff were wonderful, I only spoke to DH to make sure he was ok good theatre staff will do the job you want your mum to do. It'll be ok, honest

What does your dh think?
It's a weird one for me, I chose my then dh over my dm when I had my dc and at the time it felt like the most natural/fair thing to do. 15 years on and remarried, I dearly wish it had been my mum there as I would dearly love to be able to talk to someone about the moment my babies entered the world!
While ex dh and I are civil and friendly, such conversation would never happen I now. I maybe being overly pessimistic but the figures for separation/divorce after children would suggest I'm also being reasonably realistic too!