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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Anyone else sort of forgotten what labour feels like?

29 replies

Penguin13 · 10/03/2017 06:15

Feel a bit ridiculous as I only gave birth just over 2 years ago but I realised when reading another thread about what labour really feels like that I couldn't really answer that question because um.... I don't really remember Blush The whole thing I'm general is pretty hazy tbh. Had a pretty straightforward labour so maybe I was just 'in the zone' at the time or maybe it was the gas and air. Currently 37+5 with DC2 and part of me has the same fears as last time about actually knowing when I go into labour. I know it's stupid really as I was pretty sure what was happening once things kicked off in earnest. I guess I'm just wondering since everything I have read seems to suggest most people remember their labour in vivid detail whether anyone felt like me.

OP posts:
OhtoblazeswithElvira · 10/03/2017 06:27

Nah. You forget thank God Grin

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 06:55

3 months on and haven't really forgotten yet.

Haudyerwheesht · 10/03/2017 06:59

My kids are 6&10 and I haven't forgotten! I'd go through it again in a heartbeat though.

Nan0second · 10/03/2017 07:02

2 years. Not forgotten at all.
Wish I could (although it's not the pain side that makes me feel that).
DD will be an only if I get my way.

Pitchforktotheface · 10/03/2017 08:22

Really wish I could. Its was the worst experience of my life. Everyone said I'd forget about it but I haven't and its 18months on.

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 08:28

It's so strange that the experience of giving birth varies so much between different women! Many people report it being not that bad.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 10/03/2017 08:41

It's hazy for me too but I have a distinct dread of it each time. I learnt from my experience of dc1'a birth and asked for the epidural earlier in the rest of my labours.

annlee3817 · 10/03/2017 09:40

I think it probably depends on the type of labour you had. Mine was straight forward and fairly short, so it's a bit hazy, I remember being a bit shocked by the pain, but other than that I have to ask my DH and Mum for details. I imagine had it been a bit of a nightmare I would remember it a lot better. Hypnobirthing cd's kept me calm in the lead up to labour.

AyeAmarok · 10/03/2017 10:00

I haven't forgotten, though it's only been 3 months.

Although even stronger is the memory of being in the ward, completely alone, petrified, vomiting from the pain, and midwife dismissing me when I went out to the desk thinking I couldn't possibly be in labour.

15 minutes later when I had been rushed (fully dilated) to the labour room for a crash delivery due to fetal distress, rather than being panicked by the number of doctors in the room, I felt better knowing I wasn't alone anymore. I was too late for pain relief obviously but the pain is a side issue really.

I'm still quite annoyed/upset about that midwife, struggling to move past that.

Original poster
Penguin13 · 10/03/2017 12:17

So sorry that a few of you had memorable births for the wrong reasons Flowers for you. Have any of you thought about trying to organise a birth reflections meeting? (I think that is what it's called) Don't know much about how they work but from memory it is a chance to talk through what happened during your labour and for you to ask questions about treatment you received. The PALS unit in the place you gave birth should be able to give you some information about it. Everyone is different but I know that even though I had a relatively easy labour I still felt a need to talk about it and mentally process it and I could imagine that might be even more the case if you had a bad experience.

OP posts:
divadee · 10/03/2017 15:28

I gave birth 6 weeks ago today and I have already forgotten just how bad it it. I knew it was the worst pain I had ever had and when it started it brought back memories of labour with my first daughter 19 years ago and I can remember saying ' I don't remember it hurting this much' but I knee it had done.

I'm sure it's nature's way of making sure we have more kids by making us forget how bad it really is.

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 19:19

Penguin13: It was hard and painful but I am absolutely fine Grin I wouldn't organise a meeting unless j was unhappy with my care.

Original poster
Penguin13 · 10/03/2017 21:13

Yes I guess I was mainly thinking of AyeAmarock when I write that Trifle since she mentioned she was struggling to get past how she was treated though I think there is something to be said for the opportunity to unofficially debrief and process the experience even when you weren't unhappy with it.

I confess I am more nervous second time round than I thought I would be having gone through the whole thing once. Partially I think that's because of where I am giving birth. There was only one sensible choice distance wise if I wanted a hospital birth but it has a poor reputation and the maternity unit is currently being refurbished (nothing so reassuring as receiving a leaflet along the lines of 'don't panic it's all totally fine' Hmm Although I had a good experience last time having spoken to others who have given birth there I think I was lucky and part of the reason was that we paid for a private room post birth which we don't have the option of this time because it's closed for the refurbishment. The private rooms is the only area which is adequately staffed because the fees you pay fund the staffing. Just crossing my fingers it will be straightforward again and we won't have to stay too long.

OP posts:
greathat · 10/03/2017 21:14

Labour was nothing compared to the utter shit that was both my pregnancies. I'd do labour again, but not the 9 months before it :D

TheBiscuitStrikesBack · 10/03/2017 21:16

Jeez, no. I will never, ever forget the unimaginable agony.

Hasn't stopped me doing it twice though. It stops eventually. Second time round you know for sure that it does end and with something completely worth it.

AppleMagic · 10/03/2017 21:16

I don't think it's that you forget that it's really fucking painful but I think it's common to not be able to really describe/imagine the pain.

P1nkSparkles · 10/03/2017 21:17

I was induced after a really long latent labour - so I'm really worried that if/when I do it again I won't have s clue at what point I'm supposed to go in etc or even at what point it becomes established labour!!

annandale · 10/03/2017 21:17

I remember a kind of veil falling over my memories of labour six weeks afterwards. I was thinking about it (as I did rather a lot) and I literally felt the memories go a bit fuzzy and less intense.

It was a really short and straightforward labour but tbh I'm pretty glad I only did it once, sorry!

ShallNotBeNamed · 10/03/2017 21:42

Yeah I've forgotten too, my mum has said as soon as you feel the first contraction it all comes flooding back 🙈

Original poster
Penguin13 · 11/03/2017 07:17

Oh dear. After all this talk of labour I had a fairly horrifying dream where i had to give birth to DD1 as well as DC2 Confused suddenly the idea of giving birth to just one baby seems eminently doable Grin

OP posts:
WantToGoingTo · 11/03/2017 20:49

Oh I remember alright... 19 months on here. I also remember the awful recovery, remedial operation and 6 months of physio. But here I am trying for dc2! 😬

WappersReturns · 11/03/2017 20:59

I forgot the first few times Blush after my fourth labour I remembered pretty vividly and still went on to have a fifth. Now it's seared into my brain and I can almost feel it if I talk about my labour.
I was and remain a childbirth addict though. As agonising as it was I would do it again if I wanted another child. If i thought my body would bear it again I'd consider surrogacy so I could have that rush again even though my family is complete! Sadly my health isn't very good these days, I have no idea how these women with 10 or more children physically manage it Confused

smellsofelderberries · 14/03/2017 02:14

I don't remember and it was only 18 weeks ago for me. It's still with me in a way though as I have a birth injury, so pretty sure I'll never have to go through it again.

RaeSkywalker · 14/03/2017 02:43

I remember, and like great, it's the pregnancy which did more psychological damage for me. I also had a tough time postnatally.

I was lucky to have a straightforward delivery though.

Sweetheartyparty76 · 19/03/2017 15:23

4 months on and I've forgotten the pain. She was back to back and I had complications ending in EMCS but I'd love to it again. The midwife commented afterwards that I must have a really high pain threshold although I didn't think so at the time x