Had 3rd degree tear 14 weeks ago, still suffering - anyone else with post-natal agonies?

[MrsThierryHenry]

I gave birth 14 weeks ago and suffered a 3rd degree tear. Although I seemed to heal fairly well in the first few weeks, I seem now to be suffering one thing after another and am pretty fed up. Here comes the graphic stuff...look away if you're squeamish!

Firstly I strained on the loo when I had constipation from iron tabs. Just 1 second's worth of straining was enough to give me an anal fissure. Yum.

Secondly I developed stress incontinence (front and back - nice), which means that the rectal leaks create a delightfully agonising pain on my fissure - making healing even slower and making me double over every time I poo or leak.

Thirdly I've had bleeding from the front and back passages, but urine samples have come back negative.

Fourthly, I had antibiotics to knock out a poss urine infection (prob cause of the bleeding), which have left me with thrush - which affects my breastfeeding baby, whi keeps pulling off ev 2 seconds.

Fifthly (good thing I have a sense of humour, eh?!) I have a numbness in my clitoris which also feels like pain when I pass water.

Finally (at last!) the perineal pain has got worse recently, making walking difficult again, and though I ammostly strong, sometimes I just wanna curl up and cry.

Has anyone else had their own catalogue of post-natal woes?

One good thing - my DH and baby are gorgeous and bring me so much joy!

Gungy stuff - Fybregel, basically Senokot.

My sister had third degree tear with her dd and was convinced that she was going to be incontinent for life and/or in constant pain. One sympathetic specialist later she is back to normal (took about four months but most of that was waiting to see the specialist) - part of the prob turned out to be stitches done badly. You DONT (as her gp charmingly told her) just have to put up with it and it WILL get better. good luck!

Hi - just wanted to say that I don't know much about the tearing but I was quite badly anaemic after the birth bacause of blood loss and hated the iron tablet for obvious reasons. I actually stopped taking the tables after a few days and didn't take anything else either. What I did do though was eat a lot more steak and liver (assuming you are not a vegetarian !!)

Dh used to make me liver and bacon for breakfast several times a week and I ate steak 2-3 times a week. Also I upped my intake of vegetable based iron (though this is not as efficiently absorbed by the body as meat based iron is). I went back to my GP 5 weeks after the birth for him to check my iron levels and they were back to normal then.

I then obviously reduced my meat intake as so much red meat isn't a great idea in the long term but it worked really well for me to do that for a few weeks to get my iron levels back to normal.

I had a 3rd degree tear but they did a nice job stitching it up.

They gave me fybrogel and lactalose (a laxative) which I took for the first few weeks which helped. I am now healing up fine as far as I know - I've got my six week check at the hospital next week.

Definitely go back to the hospital if you can to be checked out if your GPs no good.

New to this, but poor MrsTH rang a bell with me and I wanted to add some words of support! I had a fouth degree tear and a pph with my ds, but was lucky to be stitched up reasonably ok - but you do need to take it easy, don't be too hard on yourself. It took about 18 months / 2 years to feel completely back to normal, so just take each day as it comes and rest when you can. Good luck and hope all is well soon.

Just remembered that there is a less constipating source of iron available in health stores, some sort of extract of spinach, which tastes a bit naff, but might help someone in your situation. Can't remember the name of it for the life of me, but comes in a glass bottle, in a bright (possibly orange) box, and might be called something like Vita-blah. Am sure someone who works in such a shop would know what I am talking about. It's marketed as a "tonic".

Good luck Madame Henry.

For MrsThierryHenry - you poor hon! This happened to me too but a long time ago now. You need to get yourself back to the doctor ...change your gp if nec to a nice lady doctor because it sounds to me like you might need the heat treatment I had among other things. I am not a midwife or have any medical knowledge but I just recognise the symptoms - in time you will heal and be alright and you have to hang onto that while you are sitting on the bags of bloody frozen peas wrapped in towels! I think I had something called a high foreceps which batters the clitoris hense the numbness. It was working again (but very tentatlively) after four months and after that got better and better and my plevic floor is also hunkidori too now after 18 months of stress incontinence but the last year very little and this depends on each individual so dont panic. The sodding iron tablets - this got me too with constipation but if you are anaemic you will need this as the chances are with third degree you also lost masses of blood. I found out later (too late for me but not hopefully for you) that you can get iron tablets that do not make you consitpated but of course they cost more so are not prescribed but blimey...buy them at the chemist if it is going to help. I tried all sorts of salt baths and various things, metanium cream helped a little on my bum. This is probably no help whatesoever and I wouldnt wish it on anyone but it will pass eventually. You know it is bad when the midwives lift the covers and draw breath! Like you though I adore my boys and it didnt affect bonding with my baby at all but I was depressed later and when me and my husband finally found the time and guts to sit down and go through exactly what had happened and why it was like counselling but overwhelming and emotional. Check out birthtraumaassossiation.org.uk and for next time (In know! and you won't forget but you might reconsider if a ceasarian is an option!!) letstalkbaby.co.uk think of it all as the worst kind of bruising and you need to sleep as much as you can in the day as well, forget all the mess and when your baby sleeps you sleep too, to heal you have to look after yourself. Have had two c sections since - a walk in the park in comparision. So sorry if I have spoken out of turn and definately gone on too much! Good luck.

I'm sure the stuff Smellen is talking about is called Floridax. It's safe to use when breastfeeding and it has lots of other good things in it apart from the iron and didn't taste too bad really.
I had a third degree tear too and it probably took best part of a year to feel "normal" again. I'd definitely agree with comments about getting further help at this stage though Mrs TH, don't suffer in silence as there are things that can be done. Good luck!
I'm expecting my second baby in 4 weeks and have opted for a c-section this time!!