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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

My 10 weeks BABY Lara is DEAD!!! Help me understand "WHY!"

47 replies

sarahallakrodriguez · 02/03/2017 23:45

Hello,This is Sara. My baby Lara passed away on January, 27th, 2017.
I had a difficult pregnancy starting with Braxton hicks. When I went to the hospital,they said "normal". I went again because the baby was not moving. They said "Baby is ok".
I had gestational diabetes and was on diet control. Then I had high blood pressure. Inspite of taking my tables, it kept going up. I was sent to the triage many times and all they did is monitoring the baby's heart beat and saying "It was ok" then discharging me.
My midwife said that I had to give birth because I had" PRE ECLAMPSIA" .I went and they were about to discharge me. I told them my head is about to explode so they decided to keep me in the hospital. My blood pressure kept going up finally they decided to give me the 1st induction. That was November the 3rd, 2016 at 00:30. The doctor said that I might end up having brain bleeding. I asked him that I don't mind a C section.They kept monitoring the baby heart beats. Time passed and I was only 1CM open. After about 16 hours, the doctor examined me and I felt him touching the baby's head. I saw blood so I called the nurse. They said that I need another induction and asked me if I want the epidural. I agreed as I started to feel exhausted. The nurse started jumping from one screen to another. She assured that everything was under control. I asked another doctor why don't you do a C section as I did not want to take any risk. He did not reply. They started rolling me from one side to another on the bed. They said that the code is around the baby's neck.
Suddenly, a group of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. They were everywhere. I asked the nurse" How is the baby?". She said, " Her heart beats dipped. They were about 60 hb but don't worry.. things are under control!" I asked again," Why don't you go for the C section?".
I heard someone saying outside " She is a regular!" Another voice yelled," She is not!"
At last they took me to the C section. They baby did not cry and I thought that she was dead. Then they brought her over, I looked at her but I was too weak to hold her as I bled heavily. They stitched me and took Lara to the special care. They brought her to my room after 48 hours. They said that she is "OK" But she has a lack of Sodium.
After about a week, I was discharged and I asked every single nurse. "IS THE BABY OK?" They all said" YES". She was "2.150"grams.
My baby Lara never cried loudly. She had a loud breathing. She was tiny and slow in feeding. She was always asleep. I told the midwife , health visitor and the pediatrician about that. They all said "She is TINY...she is "F*&%$@ OK!!!!!"
NOW ... SHE IS DEAD!!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW come that nobody noticed that she was NOT OK!!!!!

OP posts:
sarahallakrodriguez · 04/03/2017 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarahallakrodriguez · 04/03/2017 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Poorlybabysickday · 04/03/2017 20:02

I'm so sorry, life is so cruel

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 04/03/2017 20:03

So sorry Flowers I hope you get answersxx

sarahallakrodriguez · 04/03/2017 20:04

She started to gain some weight but before she passed away she stopped finishing her bottle .. She used to leave 2 oz out of 5 which I was going to ask the pediatrician about ... never had time though

OP posts:
sarahallakrodriguez · 04/03/2017 21:48

I am sorry for the repeated comments. I am trying to delete them. Do you know how?

OP posts:
RubbishMantra · 04/03/2017 21:54

Don't worry about the repeated comments Sara. It's easily done, done it myself. Main thing is that you are OK and carry on posting for support.

LegosAndSkiing · 04/03/2017 21:55
Sad
TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 04/03/2017 22:02

Hi sara so sorry to read this about your daughter.

sarahallakrodriguez · 04/03/2017 22:28

Thank you for your support

OP posts:
TeaAddict235 · 04/03/2017 22:48

God Bless you Sara. I am so sorry. I hope that you have support for your loss and understanding people around you. If not, we are here.

SecretWitch · 05/03/2017 16:03

I'm thinking about you today. 💐💐

ineedwine99 · 05/03/2017 16:07

So so sorry OP and i hope you get some answers Flowers

RubbishMantra · 05/03/2017 23:35

Another one thinking about you and Lara today Sara.

freethebiscuit · 05/03/2017 23:39

How horrific for you. So sorry to hear your story and sad that you lost your daughter. I hope you get some answers and have good support around you at this time x

Deedee3311 · 07/03/2017 20:57

So sorry for your loss.

searchingforit · 08/03/2017 23:27

Sad I cannot believe this!
Sara Im so sorry...you must be sickband tired of hearing it/reading it and what have you.
You need answers! You need for the team to call this meeting and discuss what happened.
It won't bring Lara back but it is the only way that you will be able to get some closure. You deserve those answers Sara...you tried everything to get them to do their job and they didn't.
You did everything you could have done.
Love love love and more love xxxxx

Impatientwino · 14/03/2017 07:17

Hi Sara

I'm so sorry you lost your daughter Lara. I lost my baby William last year and it really is horrific. What a terrifying time you had.

I'm sorry you don't have answers to questions that you do clearly need.

There should have been an internal debrief meeting on her case and following that there should be a meeting scheduled between you and your consultant to feedback to you and 'debrief' you on what happened. Have you had that meeting? We wrote a long list of questions to take with us so we didn't forget anything that was bothering us.

Have you spoken to SANDS? They can be so helpful.

Sending you strength Flowers

Conlinee · 22/03/2017 20:35

I am SO SO sorry. My thoughts are with you xxxxx

jlou2015 · 25/03/2017 16:54

This is very tragic and I ache for your loss. I am more concerned that you were constantly bringing up points if worry..headaches...proform a C Section..Yet they did eventually when it eas seemingly too late. Why were youre concerns not pyt first. They were worried and did not seem to assure you and work with you which is as traumatic as youve lost your baby. I fear this lack of cooperation. I have had a baby and I can tell you I know worries that occur but to me I would get this investigated because you were acting on instincts and noone sought to put you at ease as they were worried about what was happening. I would make a complaint and dont let it drop. It seems negligent. I know you are hurting and you need support. Please get it. Call Tommys and there are others. You need to get some investigation because you were not being listened to along 5he way. I know they are medics and doing there job but in your explanation you are pleadung to be heardby medics. I think get an explanation. Things have gone tragically wrong. I pray you are going to cope best you can by talking it through to froends and family and support networks like other mums. Please reach out. You are not alone please know you need to seek advice and an explanation from the hospital that you feel satisfied with. You seems to have unaswered questions. Also youre not at fault you must not blame yourself and you need to speak to mums and dads in your situation. Helplines and this site will guide you. Please let us know how youre doing when you can. I send you lots of love and hugs. xxxxx

sarahallakrodriguez · 27/03/2017 21:54

After waiting for almost two months and the baby is still with the coroner. They came to a conclusion that the cause of death was a natural heart arrest. How about that !!!!

OP posts:
2017SoFarSoGood · 28/03/2017 00:29

oh Sarah, finally you have an answer! I'm so very glad of that. It won't make any real difference in how much your heart is broken and how much you miss her, but it does give you an explanation as to what happened. Her poor little heart.

You and Lara have been in my thoughts. I hope you have someone there to talk with; it really does help.

Flowers
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