Positive birth stories/pain relief experiences please!

[muriwai]

Sorry, a bit of a long one. I've been reading Toothache's 'Why are women treated like idiots...' thread with growing dismay. I'm a first timer due in August and attended an all-day ante-natal class at my local hospital a few weeks ago. We spent a lot of time talking about different types of pain relief and the assumption of the MWs really seemed to be that because we were all first time mums we would all progress from gas & air, to pethedine and then probably on to an epidural. This is not what I want at all -I'm worried about pethedine because of effect on baby and losing control myself and epidural because of lack of mobility etc. My question is, are there any mums out there who managed to get through their first births with just gas & air?

marsup - wish someone had given me that advice!!

or 3 months' supply of gas and air...

Midden, from what I was told I had a shot of pethidine at 7pm and gave birth at 8.24pm. The pethidine didn't stop the pain but you seem to be able to cope a lot better - it's only that last bit when you think I don't know if I can do this, but you do do it and I some how managed to find the strength to push him out in 20mins (apparently not bad for a first timer!)
Marsup, totally agree with you! DS is now nearly 6mths and it's starting to get easier, although teething hasn't yet fully kicked in - that should be fun!

Muriwai, I am not sure if this will help, but have you considered trying hypnobirthing? If you want to do the courses you need to start at about 24 weeks, but it helped me a lot.
I had a bad time with DD, active labour was 17hr on just gas and air and then she got stuck. After two attempts with the ventouse She emerged and was 10lbs and the registrar told me to go for a c-section next time.
But with DS I took myself to a relaxing place, breathed through it all and apart from a bit of gas and air at the transition, I had a totally natural birth in under 5hrs!
Being relaxed seems to be the secret to it all.

Muriwai, I had my first baby with no pain relief (tried to have gas and air but it made me really sick - hated it). Had a really quick labour - six hours in all, ten min second stage and didn't tear or anything. DD was early - just under 36 weeks - so that did help but she still weighed in at 6.7lbs. Think that doing loads of walking (when I must have been in pre-labour and didn't realise it) helped. Then I was either standing up on sitting on a birthing ball for the whole time I was in labour. Also, I did 100 pelvic-floor squeezes a day when preg and I really think that helped somehow.
You said you were scared of losing control - that was the worst bit for me (in transition). Felt very scared then. But it passes fast. Agree so much with others who say the most important thing is to have an open mind - it is bound to be so different from what you expect. Have you thought about going to Active Birth classes to help with techniques for coping with the pain?
ps my midwife last time said that if you ever have to be induced just have an epidural straight away as it is nearly always impossible to cope without one as contractions more intense and you are more bed-bound as being montitored.
Just try and stay relaxed (easier said that done). Good luck, Dinny

muriwai, I haven't read through all the other answers, but in answer to your original question, I felt that I got everything exactly as I wanted it. DP and I had discussed it all (and I had made it clear to him & mw that he had the authority to state my case when I wasn't capable) and I had a very simple and clear but flexible birthplan. It basically listed the four main pain control methods and my views on them (TENS: give it a go, Gas and Air: found the concept odd, but would maybe give it a go, Pethedine: no thanks, Epidural: yes so long as I retain as much mobility as I can).

As I say, this approach worked for me. When offered an epidural I asked about mobility and they pointed out that for other reasons I was being so closely monitored that I was already immobile, so I said yes please - and I'm so glad I did!

I haven't read the whole thread, but I got through the whole thing with the aid of a TENS machine and a birthing pool (obviously not at the same time). The gas bottle stayed in the corridor.

Our antenatal class did pain management first and then went on to talk about pain relief. Quite a few of the class went on to have minimal pain relief so although the teacher had a knitted uterus (her display one, I presume her actual uterus was real) she was very useful in this respect.

I had a TENS machine from virtually the minute I went into hospital, after my waters had broken. Well, had a few hours sleep in ward and when awoke in pain and asked for it, they got it all hooked up. I can't recommend it highly enough, I really can't. I was definetely able to move around in bed...not sure whether could walk with it but used it until I had the 5 minute contractions (when it isn't as good then)...did ask for it on BIRTHPLAN, and for some reason, they respected my wishes on this..I'd like the minimum pain relief, I said, only give me gas and air if I ask for it and epidural too...the result had one paracetamol, about 10 the night before, woke up dilated, whisked off to the pushing room (can't remember what you'd call it) dh came in, nearly 3 hours later had ds!

Must admit would have liked more pain relief, but liked the fact that was given a choice....just a thought but maybe you could have a chat with the hospital beforehand and ask them what their policy is on birthplans and whether they have any tens machines (sure all hospitals do)...btw with dd, had nothing, was at home until 5 minute contractions and then she was born 3 hours after got to hospital...finally I know people who have brought their favourite relaxation music into the ward, with their ghetto blaster and maybe this relaxes you a little...hope it all goes well.

I got through on TENS and gas and air. I'd brought smellies and relaxing music but found them to be incredibly irritating. icoped by taking a very business like approach (i.e. this will be unpleasant, but just has to be done, so might as well get on with it), and by 'going in on myself' and concentrating. Found dh great help in this. Toughest was that I had to be monitored at the end, which stopped me moving.

p.s. I also skived antenatal classes, and used the gas wrong, so th whole place stank of it! Think I was the least high person there!

i had gas and air for all three of mine. with dd (2nd birth) they made me have pethidine against my will and it made me sick. ds2 I had at home and managed a lot better anyway...more relaxed. Didnt need gas and air til quite late.

To add:

Labour pain is not the worst thing in the world beacause

1)doesn't hurt between contractions so you can take one at a time
2)you know it will stop
3) You can keep in mind that you're doing something amazing and important. It's not like being ill, when you feel that the world has screwed you over. It's a priviledge, really.

Thanks, thanks, thanks everyone! What a fantastic response ! All your comments have been a real help and now I do feel that I have some idea of what I need to do to get the kind of birth I want.

But don't worry, I promise to keep an open mind.

It is best to keep an open mind. I remember asking the midwife about birth plans during one of my checkups. She was great. She smiled knowingly at me and just said, wait until the day love because you never know how you will feel. She'd seen loads of women with all their plans written down and it all went up in the air when it came to the big push. It was the best piece of advice.

Personallly and with my high pain threshold, gas & air did nothing for me. I had an epidural which was just great and ended up having an emergency section as toots was not for moving. But at no time did I feel out of control or in any danger. Go with the flow and you'll know what's best for you when the time comes

X

Message withdrawn

Muriwal, it can be done! I had my ds last July on gas and air and tens machine. It bl**dy hurt though but I know other people who have had just gas and air and been fine with it. Use a birthing ball or stool too; if hospital don't provide them you can buy an exercise ball from Argos for a few quid. Make sure you inflate it first though, you don't want to get to hospital and realise there's no way of inflating it!
If that's the way you want to go, get on to your local National Childbirth Trust and do their ante natal class, v. good for teaching you breathing exercises and active birth positions (and good ideas pre-birth to help your db get into the best place for his/her journey down the birth canal). The advice here about writing a birth plan and briefing your birth partner is crucial, especially if midwives at your hospital do seem inclined to cascade women down the increasing intervention route.
Pethidine was banned at the hospital where I gave birth because of the effects on newborns if given too close to delivery. (Midwife-led unit at major London teaching hospital.)
Plus, as others have said, keep your options open. When in labour you might change your mind ? childbirth is painful and no-one's handing out medals for surviving without pain relief. However, epidurals do increase the chances of intervention because they can slow things down, plus you'll have a drip and a catheter so much more difficult to stay active.
Some of the suggestions here for things to write in your birth plan sound very positive to me.
Good news is you soon forget how much it hurts because you have an amazing, gorgeous, incredible new little person to get to know (who keeps you very busy).

Muriwai, haven't read all the posts but just a quick note to send some positive vibes your way. I gave birth to our son 6 months ago and even though I was prepared to do what ever it took to have a comfortable delivery (for both of us) I ended up having a very quick delivery on only a few puffs of gas and air. Hubby couldn't get there in time but my friends, doc and nurses laughed all the way through - except for when he popped out - all crying then . No denying it hurt like hell but wasn't ANYTHING like I thought it would be. I didn't learn or use any fancy breathing techniques but used the regular kind ie IN AND OUT . I'll never forget my Doc telling me to stop with the yelling and put the energy into pushing - she may not have been very diplomatic but boy did it work!! Things went much quicker ... and quieter after that. I stayed very fit throughout my pregnancy, drunk raspberry leaf tea in the last 3 weeks and had an open mind about how things were going to go - these things may or may not have helped me through. Best, best of luck to you.

my labour was not as bad as i thought. i was already 10cm dilated when i got to the hospital so i wasnt allowed pain relief, but it actually didnt hurt as much as i expected in to. in fact i found pushing whilst having the contractions helped a lot. i was only given 3 gulps of gas and air, but was allowed it when i was being stitched up. bit of advice dont push whilst you're suppose to pant. i wasnt told this and ended up tearing three times

Good luck for August!! you'll be fine, we've all been through it

Hi Muriwai

you must have asked the right kind of question cos you've had so many responses!

I got through my first labour with no pain relief at all, not even TENS or gas and air. Breathing and being active really helped, as did not going into the labour room until I was quite advanced, so they weren't likely to offer me pethidine or an epidural by then in any case.

Btw, I was induced and I think I was only in labour for 7 hrs so it's not necessarily the case that you need an epidural if you are induced. I was not keen on them (epidurals) in the first place because I didn't like the idea of prolonging labour, but I had thought that if labour didn't seem to be progressing I might have one if I felt like I needed a rest.

Agree with Kif's three points about why labour pain is not the worst in the world. At least you know that each contraction is getting you nearer to the end. But it does hurt a lot. The worst bit for me was when the head was crowning - but by then you know it's almost over. And the midwife was great in telling me when to pant - so I didn't tear at all, which I had also been worried about beforehand.

I know other people have suggested home birth, and I'm planning one myself this time, but if you're not sure about that, you could also look into midwife-led units. They are less likely to offer you pethidine or epidurals when you are at your most 'impressionable', and more likely to help you to get through it with just breathing and/or gas and air.

Best wishes

Sam

I had no choice for pain relief with my son. I came in the hospital too far gone to get an epidural, which might have been good for me, since I still hadn't decided whether or not I wanted one. I had absolutely nothing for my pain, and had a 9 lb baby. I lucked out and only had a 3 hour labor. Looking back, I think that was the best way to go (for me anyway, and if I were to have another, I would try to do it naturally again, because this time I know that even though it was incredibly painful, I was able to make it through.

I had a fantastic birth and it really was amazing.
I had planned on having just gas and air and like you I didnt particually want a epidural, however I kept a open mind though, as a first time mum I really had no experience of what the pain would feel like and may have wanted a epidural at the time.
Heres my experience.
My contractions started at every 10 mins apart, they werent too painful and I managed to carry on cleaning the house and just stopped and leant over while having a contraction.
At 5 mins apart I had a bath and some food. The bath helped a lot.
At 3 minutes apart we left for the hospital. Again the contractions werent too painful. The only thing I found uncomfortable was the overwhelming urge to push, which I knew I couldnt as I had no idea how dilated I was.
At the hospital I was found to be 9 cms dilated with contractions coming straight after each other.
I was told I could start pushing, which at the time is more of a relief than pain. At this point I couldnt even feel any contractions. The most painful part for me is the head crowning as it stings and feels as if your trying to put a melon in. Once thats over and the head emerges all the pain goes. I was a first timer and managed on gas and air. Maybe I was lucky as the whole labour lasted 4 hrs and I was actually only pushing for 10 minutes. My advice would be try not to worry as there really is little you can do as there is no way of knowing how it will turn out. My midwife was excellant and really calm and explained everything to me, even though I didnt want to listen, I just wanted the baby out!!

Muriwai as others say I have not read all this thread (v long) but then you want our stories so that's fair enough...I too read Toothache's thread with dismay, though not to suggests any experiences on there are not valid, sadly they surely are true stories. But yes, there are many positives. I had all my 3 with Tens and gas and air. Agree with you about poss concerns with Pethidine and epidural. Also wanted not too many people in room/didn't fancy drugs in spine etc. Not trying to call anyone who did have epidural; you have to do what is right for you. But I was able to manage the pain in all 3 births and they were without doubt the most positive, fulfilling and absorbing and powerful and wonderful experiences of my life. Yes, painful. Yes, hard work. But so marvellously all-encompassing, giving in completely to the demands of my body. With DS1, the longest labour, I started 1am, into hosp 4am, tens, had a bath, gas and air, waters were broken and pushed him out in half an hour at 1.15pm. DD managed at home 8pm-10pm, in by 11pm, gas and air again, waters broke themselves and she was born at 1.30am. DS2 in a hurry then as now, woke 4am, crawling round the floor with Tens machine on by 5.30am, into hosp 6.30am, waters broke again and pushed him out at 8.30am in about 5 minutes (4 pushes including placenta!) Important factors for me; being able to move around as I wished; choosing delivery position when in labour - what felt right? birthing ball (with no 3, excellent); managing it at home as long as poss. Do feel in hindsight I went in too soon with DS1, much better labouring at home for longer with 2 and 3. Sorry this is such a long post - you have a lot to read but that is surely a good sign. All the very best. C

Just reading a bit further down, second those who say about the pain that it's not the worst. It's not pointless pain, it has a purpose. Each contraction is one you won't have to have again. I know it sounds stupid but it helped me. DH has a bad back and that is just agony with no end and no goal. At least giving birth has such a wonderful end, we hope. Yes, head crowning is the worst bit, but by then nothing matters anyway, and it's too late for anything but gas and air.

Muriwai - no time to read all this thread, but has someone made the point to you that even if you end up having pethidine or an epidural or anything else that naturally you don't want to have right now, it will only be because you end up changing your mind and begging for relief? I don't think anyone has ever pressed me (mother of four) or any other mothers I know to have pain relief that was not wanted. Make sure your birth partner knows what you want and speaks up for you forcefully. I found when I was in labour I went into a sort of shell and could not have argued coherently about anything for any length of time. It took until my fourth birth before I asked to try different birth positions and in the end, ended up half upright on my back as with all the other three as that was what worked best, despite contrary advice at ante-natal classes!
Good luck to you.

Hi Muriwai,

I had dd last August.She was my 1st baby & I only had gas & air.However,it was a very quick labour,so there was no time for epidurals,birth pool or anything else,I didn't even have time to get my bag unpacked.

I must admit that I found ante-natal classes a complete waste of time,probably because after attending them with me,DH firmly believed that a 1st labour is at least 12 hours +.He was very shocked when DD arrived 4 hours after the very first contraction.

Gas & air is great stuff,but the midwives did take it off me 'so I could push properly',so I ended up atcually giving birth with no pain relief at all.I possibly have the worlds lowest pain threshold,but it was ok.

Good luck

Meant to say that I am a complete coward where pain is concerned.