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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Positive birth stories/pain relief experiences please!

79 replies

muriwai · 29/06/2004 13:46

Sorry, a bit of a long one. I've been reading Toothache's 'Why are women treated like idiots...' thread with growing dismay. I'm a first timer due in August and attended an all-day ante-natal class at my local hospital a few weeks ago. We spent a lot of time talking about different types of pain relief and the assumption of the MWs really seemed to be that because we were all first time mums we would all progress from gas & air, to pethedine and then probably on to an epidural. This is not what I want at all -I'm worried about pethedine because of effect on baby and losing control myself and epidural because of lack of mobility etc. My question is, are there any mums out there who managed to get through their first births with just gas & air?

OP posts:
handbagaddiction · 29/06/2004 15:57

Posted on the other 'negative' thread purely because I had difficultly getting the midwives to believe things were progressing quicker than they thought.

However, I did do the whole 9 hours of induced labour and 3 hours of pushing with no pain relief at all - apart from a TENS machine which at the time i was convinced wasn't helping at all. I guess for me as a first timer - mentally I had thought that I must have ages to go and would have plenty of time for getting additional help. When I really did start to struggle, get tearful and beat myself up because I was beginning not to be able to cope and thought I could only have been about 2 or 3 cm dilated - I was actually fully dilated and going through transition at which point it was too late for anything...

Personally speaking, the pain probably wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and to be honest, I reckon if the midwives had of examined me earlier, I might have actually talked myself into additional pain relief earlier.

Anyway - I do echo what everyone else has said about retaining an open mind. So much so that I didn't write a birth plan at all. Nobody knows how they will cope until it actually happens and everyone is different.

Good luck with everything though.

Kayleigh · 29/06/2004 15:57

Just gas and air for ds1 and ds2. And I swore I was going to have anything and everything in the way of pain relief.

bundle · 29/06/2004 16:06

in my birth plan I stated I was willing to consider any form of pain relief but would ask for it myself. the only thing I stated I didn't want was pethidine (because of the low % of effectiveness and its effect on the baby). I didn't want entonox and in the end was vomiting through most of my labour anyway. I did have an epidural and had good mobility with effective pain relief and was able to have this topped up when dd1 needed to be born by c/s. with dd2 i never got to have my epidural and ended up having a general anaesthetic, which is my only regret. I think the worst thing can happen is the unexpected - so it's best to gear yourself up to plans a), b), c) etc - decide beforehand what you would do if certain things happen and at least read up on eg c/s just in case. I'm glad I did.

prettycandles · 29/06/2004 16:48

With ds I used Tens, G&A, and eventually epidural (which only worked on one side, and even that incompletely). With dd I used Tens, the bath at home, and about 4 breaths of G&A.

Labour for me was certainly not the worst pain in the world - that's toothache, without a doubt.

From my experiences I'd say that the best ways to cope with the pains are:

an open mind, as others have said. Be aware of your PR options, don't necessarily discount them, but don't feel that you are obliged to take any or all of them or in any particular order. It's fine to change your mind at any point. Having PR is not failure, neither is birthing without any PR some fantastic success or affirmation.

understand what's going on. In labour my brain just goes to mush because I'm so utterly turned inwards and absorbed by what's going on. So if I know what to expect then I don't need to have so much explained and can concentrate on birthing, am less scared therefore less distressed.

in the earlier stages of labour work out with your birth partner what helps and what doesn't - positions, holding on, stroking, etc. In labour with ds I discovered that I didn't want to be touched at all, but afterwards realised that that attitude may have made things harder for me. So next time around we decided that dh would continue with the various touches unless we were both certain that I was better off left alone. And it was very very helpful.

ask for extra support if that is what you want. We seemed to be coping so were left alone for much of the time. Second time around (gosh, so much wiser ) we asked for the midwife whenever we wanted her.

listen to your midwife. They give good guidance and support - I have had marvelous care from midwives.

if you don't feel happy or confident with your midwife then ask for a different one. That is your birth partner's job, though, not yours.

Please don't be scared by that thread. Every birth is unique and marvelous. And you will amaze yourself when you discover your inner strength however you give birth.

gothicmama · 29/06/2004 16:52

I had Gas and Air - unfortunatly this led to me having an asthma attack (I am astmatic anyway) so i had pethadine - resisted with dh's help all attempts to get me to have epidural - if dh had not been there then do not think I would have resisted -pethadine was fine I think it all depends at what stagelabour is at when it is administered and how you feel. Good luck you will be ok

WideWebWitch · 29/06/2004 16:55

Murawi, haven't read the rest of this thread but to answer your question, yes I had my first baby (at home) with just gas and air and it was fine. Painful, but it really was fine. I also had my second at home with just gas and air.

wilbur · 29/06/2004 16:59

I had a tens machine (which I loved but others hate them, it's a very individual thing) and then gas and air when I got to hosp. I was already pushing in the lift with ds so g&a was only for second stage (I did then progress to a c-section as he was stuck but that's a diff story). With dd I had the same - tens and then g&a at hosp and I would say I was in transition when I got there. What I would say about the pain is that yes, it hurts an awful lot, but for me it always felt productive and nothing that I was unable to handle. Interestingly, the only time I really lost and felt I couldn't cope, was waiting for the epi for ds' c-section to be set up as I was not allowed to push and suddenly felt very out of control. Good luck, I bet you will be just fine!

beetroot · 29/06/2004 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Clayhead · 29/06/2004 17:06

muriwai, both myself and my best friend have had pethidine (4 babies between us) and have both bf very successfully so, although there may be problems in some cases, not in all. Certainly mine were guzzling within minutes of being born

gothicmama · 29/06/2004 17:08

my dd also bf straight away - I would have loved to have had home birth but she was breach so had to go in - still managed a natural delivery tho -just be firm with staff and have in mind what you do not want to have in way of pain relief - let your birthing partner know so they can support you

codswallop · 29/06/2004 17:09

gas and air all three

muriwai · 29/06/2004 17:10

Thanks everyone for all your really encouraging messages . From what you've all said, most important things seem to be to keep an open mind, stay mobile and stay at home for as long as possible. For the record also want to say that I'm def not against pain relief in principle and don't think that it's an issue of success/failure if you have/don't have any pain relief IYSWIM - I think I'll just do my best and see how it goes.

Unfortunately there aren't any active birth classes near me, but I have bought the Jane Balaskas book which I'm going to get DH to read too, so hopefully that will help.

OP posts:
gothicmama · 29/06/2004 17:12

Best idea to just see what happens hope all goes well

fernyburn · 29/06/2004 20:02

Hi Havent read all this thread.. just the 1st bit...

I managed to get through my delivery (no 1) on nothing...

I started contracting at 3am, went to the hospital at 9am, and was told that I was 8cm dilated... had gas & air, pethedine, and epidural all written in my birth plan.
coped really well with the contractions, started to push at 11 am.. couldnt get on with the gas, asked for pethadine. MW told me that I didnt need it, was doing great.... delivered my 8lb 2 oz girl at 2.40 pm,

yes it hurt, especially when the head came out, but i was upright (ish) leaning over the headrail and pushing into the pillows, I was knackered, but it was done without any pain releif whatsoever.

though I was the biggest baby ever when I came out, because the stitches were hurting.

All the advice I can give you, is concentrate fully on your breathing... Keep your head and dont panic, it really is mind over matter.
Dont be embarressed, get upright as possible, let gravity work for you, and you will be able to do it.

best of luck

If you loose it

midden · 29/06/2004 20:51

first birth at home was around 6 hours and had through it with nothing. By the time I asked for gas and air and m/w got it set up baby was crowning, tried to take a puff but mask fell off and I through it away in anger.

Second labour two hours, knew I wanted my gas and air after an hour but I was having another home birth and the m/w had not packed tubing or mask for entonox in my box of equipment, she rang hospital to get it sent down in a taxi but by the time it arrived baby was born.

If your labour is progressing and you feel safe and undisturbed (sometimes difficult in hospital but not unheard of) you will have very little need of any of the types of pain relief you mentioned, better for you and baby.

Active birth book is a good one to have. Maybe you can find a doula in your area to support you in your choices and decrease the chances of you having a highly medicalised birth?

Best of luck XXXXX

wellsie · 29/06/2004 21:17

muriwai you sound just like me before I had DS. In my antenatal class they had this lucky dip bag where you had to pull out all sorts of instruments that could be used on you during labour - frightened the life out of me! I too was worried about pethidine and after the gas and air made me sick I told the MW I was ready for my epidural but I was persuaded to have a shot of pethidine - WHICH WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!! DS was born an hour later and both he and I were absolutely fine. I think when you are in the throws of labour you just have to listen to your body and go with the flow. I originally wanted a water birth but DS heart rate was erratic so couldn't have that. I ended up sitting on a birthing stool which isn't very lady like but I would definately use one again - he shot out!! Please try not to worry, it is the most amazing experience you'll ever have and I would do it again and again for that moment - am actually looking forward to the next time, never thought I'd say that!

wellsie · 29/06/2004 21:19

Oh, btw he was 8lb 7oz and I don't remember it hurting "down there" when he came out - everyone is different.

midden · 29/06/2004 21:36

wellsie - birthing stools look fantastic wish I had been able to get hold of one. How long between pethidine and birth, if you don't mind me asking?

cq · 29/06/2004 22:49

Miriwai, I'd been up all night vomiting before my labour started - thought I had a tummy bug, no-one had told me that's often an indication of labour about to start, due to surges in hormones or something. Had 41 wk check with community midwife who sent me in to the hospital because she didn't like the way my hands & feet were puffing up. Sat in the waiting room for ages, until I was sick all over their toilet and they got me in pretty quick after that! Strapped me to a monitor and discovered contractions had started - I hadn't even felt them at that point.

They admitted me there and then and the contractions gradually grew stronger during the afternoon. My main concern was that I wouldn't be strong enough for labour because I hadn't had any sleep the night before. I remember watching Corrie in the TV lounge, huffing and puffing over the back of a chair, then putting the tens machine on which was great.

In the end, the M/W offered me some pethidine to help me sleep through the early contractions and get some energy back. In my birth plan I was dead against it but in the end we compromised and she gave me a half dose, which really helped me get some sleep.

Went down to the labour room about 7.00 a.m. and carried on just with breathing, tens machine and aromatherapy oils, and some great music. I was very quiet and very inwardly focussed - not at all what I had expected as I was looking forward to shouting and swearing at DH! At transition I started getting ratty cos I'd had enough, DH then offered me G&A but I was so in control I didn't want to risk it making me sick and losing my concentration.

TO be honest, my labour was long and slow but never agony. In the end it was 24 hours from start to finish, a healthy 9lb13oz boy and a husband who slept through most of it.

Top tip is to keep mobile, if they want to strap a monitor on you then keep asking to go to the loo and they have to let you go!

I was really looking forward to my 2nd labour with DD, but ended up having a C/S as she was transverse, and huge. C/S wasn't so bad, but for me, natural was better by far. Good luck!

Clayhead · 29/06/2004 23:01

muriwai, sorry to keep coming back to this in dribs and drabs (keep getting pulled away...) but I just wanted to say that my mw's with ds were actively against me getting into bed. There were a couple of times I wanted to but they encouraged me not to and I can see that they were right. I only got on the bed right at the end, once the head was crowning and I was ready to deliver.

They put the TV on for me, asked if I had any cds, got my drinks and stuff from my bag if dh wasn't there and kept asking if I wanted birthing ball etc. In the end I did use the birthing ball and loved it, I had never even thought about using one before. They also gave me a choice of raspberry or vanilla flavoured masks for gas and air! They were really calm and encouraging and made me feel as though I could do it which I appreciated.

I also agree with what has been written here about speed, if you are progessing well then an eidural can slow things down. That's not to say they are a bad thing but it pays to know as much as you can in case you need to make a decision.

loujay · 29/06/2004 23:03

Dear Muriwai
I had my DD last August - my first and I was absolutly terrified about childbirth as all you seem to hear are the horror stories.
I was lucky and had a labour of 4 1/2 hours using just a tens machine and 1 puff of gas and air just prior to delivering her.
I wont say that it didnt hurt!! at timesI was scared but I did it and surprised myself and everyone that knows me.
All experiences are different and you cant predict how yours will be but what I will say is that your body knows what to do and will carry on regardless, go with what you feel and dont let an epidural (if you should need one) feel like a failure.
I will be thinking of you

Clayhead · 29/06/2004 23:13

Oh, and I was actually looking forward to birth the second time round, which is something I've never admitted to my friends in RL (although did talk about it lots with dh) as I'd found it hard work, painful but overwhelmingly positive; I was amazed at what my body could do and the instincts I had which I didn't even know about and was looking forward to going through it all again.

marsup · 29/06/2004 23:17

Hello Muriwai - I had my first 6 months ago with just gas and air, though I also got to use a pool to labour in (they wouldn't let me give birth in it) which helped. I had really strong braxton hicks for days before, and I think that prepared me since when I started dilating it went reasonably quickly (I walked around a lot to ease the pain). I don't want to scare you about something else, but the first 3 months after the birth were much, much harder than childbirth itself, and I didn't get to puff on anything... Good luck!

WideWebWitch · 29/06/2004 23:23

muriwai, just a thought but have you considered home birth? Maybe it's not for you but there are lots of women who've had home births on this site, just do a search if you're interested.

cazzybabs · 29/06/2004 23:25

1st baby just TENS - tried one puff of gas and air and hated it - I felt sick and dizzy. It was the most amazing experience and I hope one I can repeat with next baby.