Hey, I was on here when I was pregnant and I never got around to posting my birth story due to the fact I could not remember half of it and it was just a process of stupidy and faults I believe on the midwive(s) parts.
5 months later I want to share it just to find out if anyone else shared a similar experience. I apologise for the long post in advance. I just feel its somethign I need to get off my chest amongst other parents. I am a FTM, sorry if theres TMI.
I had my daughter on 21st July @7.30pm. I was due on the 16th. I was induced on the 19th July at 11pm with the 1st pessary and then had the second inserted 11pm on the Wednesday 20th and by 1am on 21st July my contractions had started just really mildly but I knew what they were. Within about half an hour I had water dripping out of me (which I had for about a week before but hospital said it was nothing) I told a midwife who told me its not my waters I could possibly have weed. I told her I have had it on and off for an hour, it was def not wee cos I felt no relief and had no control over it. I had no sleep all night, by OH was with me and I let him sleep. Until 6am I kept myself busy on the ball, reading etc. I had slept around 2 hours the night before but due to the checking my baby heartbeat at hourly intervals.
By the morning I was shattered but nothing had really progressed. The contractions were stronger and about 10/15 min apart and I had continued to lose the water which the same midwife on duty said was 'just wee.'
During my pregnancy I suffered badly with sciatica and SPD and struggled to walk and the contractions were making it difficult for me to even move. I was on the ball around midday when I was holding my OH hand and I fainted. From here I have broken memories and what I mention from here is simply what I have read on record, broken memories of my own and what my OH and his mum told me as they were both present.
When I fainted doctors came in to tell me I was dehydrated and I was on put on a drip. at this point I was exhausted and couldn't move cos I was that tired. A midwife came in and forcefully told me I had to eat otherwise they would not put me on the synthetic hormones which would encourage my labour along. Which I was told I would be going on when my contractions reached 10 min apart and around 30 seconds long which I had been feeling most of that morning but was shunned.
I could not respond I was so tired but my OH mother told the midwife I would have to go on the machine as I was already in that part of the labour. I was on the drip for around an hour and slowly I came around a bit. I managed to sit on a chair which made my contractions easier as they were going into my back causing the most pain. At this time I had managed half a slice of toast and was put on the synthetic hormone drip (i cant remember what they call it) within about ten mins the contractions were coming thicker and faster and at this time I was losing blood in my pad very much like a period. I kept going to the toilet but when my contractions were coming I had the urge to push, I was in the toilet on my own and kept feeling for the head down there but could feel nothing. BLood was streaming out at this point all down the toilet. My OH mum came into the toilet with me to lift me up cos I could not move cos the pain and the fact my body was pushing down and blood was coming out. My OH mum has had 6 children naturally and told me this hadnt happened to her so she called the midwife who said it was normal to lose clumps of blood.
At around 4pm the same midwife came to break my waters as she believed they had not gone. I told her there was nothing there. She put a needle up anyway and was baffled when she said there was nothing to come out...my waters had gone. Which I had told her all through the night.
I was to and from the bathroom every 15 mins for about an hour carrying the drip and the synthetic hormones with me every time and it was dialled up to full strength by which point I struggled off the toilet in pain. My OH was with me and I was pushing down on the toilet with blood coming out yet I couldnt help it. i wasnt pushing, my body was. My OH went to get another midwife, not the one who was looking after me and she saw me and was shocked. She said I should not be losing the blood and to get me off the loo best she could and take me back into the room. At this point I asked for gas and air (the only pain relief I had) I was hesistant to take it as people I know told me they had been sick with it and i have a terrible phobia of being sick. I was holding it for around 20 mins when the pain got so bad I took it. It didnt help much with the pain but it made me really woozy and broke up my memory even more. I was on the gas and air around 15 min when my boyfriend badgered the midwife to check how far dilated I was. She refused several times and said she would come at half 6 - this was about 5.30. Another midwife came aroudn in that time and I asked her to check me, she went to get the original midwife who refused the first time except this time she checked me. She told me that my baby was pretty much laying there waiting to come out and this time set about panicking to get another midwife in the room including a student who stood watching everything and didnt even ask my permission but at this point I was so echausted I just wanted my baby out. She told me to push into my bum as though I was having a poo and so I did. She then told me she was going to get the needle to deliver my placenta and left me pushign alone for 20MINS! my OH mum was down that end instructing me and ringing for help but no one came. I kept pushing when needed and i heard my OH mum say to my BF ''she's ripping'' by the time the midwife came back she pretty much told me I was doing it all wrong and put her finger to where i ''should'' be pushing down to and it was around 2-3 inch above where she initially told me to push!! While she had left the room the baby monitor keeping track of the heartbeat kept dipping and no one came and the midwife checked it to see all the dips. She told me i needed to open my legs more but because I had SPD i strruggled to open them enough then she told me she had SPD when she was pregnant and I was about to think oh maybe she will sympathhise how bad it is and she said to me''Its not that bad, love'' her attitude was terrible.
Within a few mins my legs were forced apart into the stirup things and my babys heartbeat had dropped, seconds later I had doctors rushing in to say I needed intervention as my body was tired. I hadnt been pushing an hour! I had suction cap which didnt work and in the end she was delivered by forceps. She was put on my chest and I forgot literally everything! Then i was told by the doctor there and then my muscles down there were not closing to stop the blleeding therefore my placenta wouldnt come out. I would need to be took to theatre. I had to sign papers whilst blood was running out of me.
I was took to theatre for a '40 min' procedure to repair my third degree tear, muscle rip and deliver my placenta. In theatre I had an epidural to numb my body whilst they did the repairs except this didnt work and I had to be put to sleep in the end. The midwife had been advised to tell my family I would be put to sleep. By the time I came around I didnt know but I had been gone 4 hours and not 40 mins. The message was not passed on that I had to be put to sleep therefore my family didnt know where I was or any information. I was also told I would have to have an oxygen mask overnight as my breathing had gone shallow during the procedure. They also told me i had lost quite a bit of blood, around 2 pints.
it was after midnight when I was took to the high dependancy unit and my family were told to go home (even tho I found out my boyfriend was allowed to stay with me) my baby was tended to through the night by midwives who I cannot fault for their brilliance on that ward.
The next morning I felt sick, dizzy and woozy and not strong enough to hold my baby but yet I kept begging for a bath. I was took to the shower room to have a bath by 2 midwives and was then left alone for 20 mins to bath myself even though a clear sign on the door said ''do not leave patients unattended'' I had to sit naked, bleeding with a catheter still attached and shivering til someone came back.
Once I had got back I was visited by 2 doctor, the surgeon who had sorted me in theatre and a midwife who explained I would need a blood transfusion as I lost a lot more blood than they had thought. It was 3pints. I was also told under no circumstance could I give birth naturally again I would need a planned c sec if I have any more children.
A couple hour later the blood transfusion started and my boyfriend had arrived to the hospital to see me and our baby. After the 3rd bag of blood had been put in,a midwife arrived with another bag to ask how I was feeling. I did feel better but was told I had lost just over 4pints of blood. I said I was told 2 then 3 but apparently it was hard to stem my bleeding. At that time she asked where the signs sheets was I didnt know anything about any signed sheets. Apparetly before a blood transfusion begins,the doctor has to explain the pros, cons and you have the right to refuse. I said no one told me this I was told i would have one. She told me I must have signed it because it can cause death if the blood doesnt react well with mine and they signature proves I understand this....I signed nothing and my partner confirmed I hadnt. Minutes later she found a sheet which the doctor should have given to me to sign but didnt...
I was allowed home 2 days later and aside from been given the wrong medication twice and not enough iron tablets I was fine.
I told my story to the health visitor, midwives and people who visited since and they were all shocked at the story of how my baby was born. Like i said due to exhaustion and the gas and air I can remember bits but then in the 5 months since my baby was born the memories have slowly come back and both my parner and I feel we were robbed of a great birth due to the fact one particular midwife didnt listen to me. Afterward she was questioned as to why I was left alone for so long to push alone as this was when she should have been present and it escalated quickly from there. I never heard any answers.
I was told I could go to the hospital where they would go through the file to answer any questiosn I may have regarding the birth. I half want to move on and I half feel as though I had a terrible experience.
I am sorry for the huge post. Any thoughts would be very welcomed.