Awkward birthing partners

[Wonderflonium]

Has anyone got any tips for birthing partners?

My boyfriend has a habit of nervously laughing and making awkward comments when under stress. I have a feeling that he will want to say something about noises made during labour sounding a bit like noises made during sex. (once he totally disgusted a nurse by commenting this way about a patient in another room while we were at the emergency gyn ward during my ectopic pregnancy. I was so mad!)

I do want him there because he's otherwise good under pressure and a convenient source of oxytocin for me!

But yeah, any tips for him on how to act like a grown up?

watch one born every minute and loudly comment on things you find annoying from birthing partners i did this last night - hopefully it works!

By the time your labour's well advanced, I doubt you'll give a shit. I barely knew my husband was there from 7cm onwards.

For before that, perhaps specifically ban him from making ANY comments about sex noises and give him something to do/say instead when he feels awkward?

And if you really feel that worrying about what he will say may stress you during your labour, I'd consider getting a doula as your BP instead if you can afford it. I thought I'd want my H to hold my hand and give me back massages and all that shit, but in fact I went totally into the zone and didn't want him touching me. I have no idea if he said anything at all from the point when we arrived at the birthing centre.

I didn't want my DH at the birth (and he didn't want to be there particularly either). My mum was my birthing partner and it worked really well. The only thing I found annoying was when she told me off for swearing because "the midwife doesn't come to work to have you cursing at her!"

Write him a birth plan
If I make a noise you find funny - keep your mouth shut, you will look like a twat if you say anything

Don't crack any awkward jokes about my vagina or bum sex

Don't pass chocolates to my other birthing partner in front of my face whilst I am pushing - I will punch you

Don't laugh at me if I swear

Lol these are going at the end of my birth plan :)

I don't think you will worry about that sort it thing to b honest and the midwife will be focused on you I'm worried about my dp but that's cause he's nervous lol

I love all these tips, thanks. Love the birth plan!
I was thinking about a doula but I don't think I have the budget for one.

You're right: I probably won't give a shit what's going on around me.

I like the idea of watching OBEM with him as a sort of anti-pinterest board.

I literally didn't care what my OH had to say when I was in labour and he is the type to make a rude joke / comment when he is nervous.

I'd be more worried about what you might come out with if you're on gas & air

For real, once I was admitted, my H could have been saying soothing and supportive things or reciting Fox in socks and I wouldn't have known the difference.