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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did the midwife stay in the room with you during labour?

58 replies

Fabulosososo · 06/09/2016 22:43

Wondering if this is normal? I assumed it was normal at the time as it was my first DC but friends seem to have had a different experience. During my labour with my first baby in MLU the midwife was never in the room with me. She came in to check the heartbeat approx. every 30 mins and left immediately. She didn't even write the notes in the room. Checks increased in frequency slightly later on as there was a concern about baby but again the check was performed and midwife left promptly. Later as there were more concerns, she would stop for a couple of mins after checks or VE to explain the outcome. even when I was fully dilated and expressing concern for baby she still spent minimal time in the room. Also she would sometimes leave the room while I was having a contraction so I wasn't able to ask some of the questions i had. It was awful and I was terrified each time I was left especially when I had concerns for the baby. At this point I transferred to hospital and someone was with me constantly from then onwards and it was such a relief to have someone supporting and reassuring me and keeping an eye on the health of DC1. Just wondering what other people's experiences are? Is it normal for the midwife to spend minimal time in the room? Do they think it's better to give a woman privacy in labour or something? Or maybe if the woman is coping well with the pain they see no need to be in the room? Or is this how the nhs is going with the lack of staff and funding? Or is this unusual?

OP posts:

FrameyMcFrame · 06/09/2016 23:28

Midwife stayed with me throughout both my births. Apart from brief loo visits etc.

VashtaNerada · 06/09/2016 23:29

Thanks Fabulosososo, it was horrendous at the time particularly as my first birth had been awful with gas & air, so my birth plan was pretty much 'LOTS OF DRUGS PLEASE'. They just kept saying "later...later" for hours DS is lovely though so I'm not too bothered now though!

GloveBug · 06/09/2016 23:30

I was the only patient in the mlu during my 1st birth but the midwife still didn't stay in the room much. I did keep telling her to be quiet though so perhaps she thought i wanted space

suit2845321oie · 06/09/2016 23:31

Yes the first time and the other 2 times o went privately to guarantee it. I did not want to be left alone

popthisoneout · 06/09/2016 23:35

I had a midwife with me the entire time, which included three shift changes. They were amazing actually and I'm so grateful they were there as they really advocated for me.

GoldenWorld · 06/09/2016 23:35

She may have been looking after someone else at the same time. MLUs can be under staffed.

I try and judge it case by case on the birth centre. Sometimes you get the feeling they want to be left alone, or if I think she's coping well and/or has a supportive partner I won't sit in the room the whole time. That said, I will spend some/majority of the time in the room, even if it's just sitting in the corner doing notes and she doesn't need me otherwise I can't build up a good idea of what's going on. I pick up a lot about how labour's progressing by the woman's behaviour and of course, I want to be around if she needs support etc. Normally if I'm going out the room I'll say why unless I think I'll be quick and don't want to disturb them.

If I had a student, depending on where they were in their training, I'd be out of the room more.

PikachuSayBoo · 06/09/2016 23:36

Guess it depends in the MLU but Id have thought most are u der the same pressure as an obstetric led unit so as long as there are beds they will generally accept women.

If an MLU or obstetric unit has to close its doors as its too busy they're "fined" by the CCG, and it's not a small amount either. The CCG see it that they're paying to commission a service and if that service isn't provided they stop payment for the time the service wasn't available.

MistressMerryWeather · 06/09/2016 23:49

Yes both times, unless they were popping out to get something I needed.

There were actually two with me when I had DS2 (totally standard birth, no complications). I couldn't have been more looked after.

This hospital honestly doesn't have the best reputation either due to their awful post-natal wards, it's just your typical NHS city hospital.

I think it's awful how some of you were just thrown to the wind.

MistressMerryWeather · 06/09/2016 23:50

DS2 is 3 btw, so it's not a case of 'how things have changed'.

BackforGood · 07/09/2016 00:05

No - this is why dh had to catch dc3, whilst trying to press the 'call for help button' at the same time

Kathysclown · 07/09/2016 01:03

With my first the midwife was hardly with me, popped in from time to time to check on me, but DH was with me. I dilated very slowly though, and then went from a couple of cm to crowning in about an hour - I very nearly gave birth with no one but DH there as no one was aware that I was fully dilated and actually pushing. Afterwards the
Midwife apologized to me as she didn't think I had received the right level of care, and I had a level three tear. I really could have done with more support, to be honest.

In my second labour, which was outside of the U.K., I had constant support from Several midwives and a consultant, even though it was a quick, smooth labour - and I felt much more relaxed as a result of having people that I trusted with me.

sycamore54321 · 07/09/2016 01:45

Seriously, a midwife sitting knitting, even as a metaphor, sounds like complete bull to me. Labour us the single most deadly day of a child's life - and is only surpassed in adulthood well into one's 90s. Birthday be natural and beautiful, yaddy yada, but we are privileged in the developed world to have obstetric care that allows us overcome the horrible natural mortality rate. I want my midwife or healthcare person to be monitoring, actively planning and caring for me and my baby, not crossing her fingers and riding the odds that yes things will probably be fine. The British healthcare system is rightly the envy of many other countries but for some reason maternity care seems to be lacking or even almost completely absent. Why do people accept this? It is shocking.

And as for no midwife at all, knitting or otherwise? Appalling stuff.

OlennasWimple · 07/09/2016 01:49

I had my mum knitting in with me for a while, before DH got the hospital - I felt like I was going to the guillotine and she was a tricoteuse...

I was generally pretty happy with having DH there the whole time and the MW popping in and out, TBH. I don't think I would have wanted a complete stranger sat there making small chat with me (but accept I may be particularly anti-social )

Gunpowder · 07/09/2016 03:37

I dunno sycamore, DD2 I had a home birth and a sort of 'knitting midwife' (well she actually drank tea and watched me and made notes but she was very hands off. Of course she did all the checks but I was barely aware of them. No one told me when to push or when to do anything, (until crowning when she said 'just a tiny push now') I think she judged almost everything from my behaviour.

I felt completely safe and supported and -(and I think this is the point of the knitting midwife) that as long as she was relaxed and sitting there drinking her tea - that everything was fine and I could just trust what my body wanted to do. She didn't leave me for a moment once she arrived (I was 4/5 cm) until the baby came. Obvs it was a straightforward and easy birth, I don't think she would have been chilling if either the baby or I were showing signs of distress.

It was a complete contrast to DD1 where I was left alone without even being examined until pushing when I suddenly got three midwives. (DH called them into the assessment room.) It's scary being left alone, especially for your first baby. If I have a hospital birth again I would consider a doula so I had someone with me all the time.

PikachuSayBoo · 07/09/2016 06:40

sycamore With a woman in a low risk labour who has had a lot of antenatal education and is well supported by her birth partner, so an ideal situation where the woman isn't afraid and has already researched different positions for an active labour the only monitoring which needs doing is to listen into baby's heartbeat every 15 mins, mums pulse once an hour and her bp and temp every 4,hours.

Which theoretically leaves a lot of time for knitting.

Sierra259 · 07/09/2016 07:24

Pikachu that's interesting about the CCG fine for units closing. That's what happened to me with DC2 - labour ward told me over the phone they couldn't accept me as they were full and I would have to go to another hospital A fine does seem harsh as surely the unit/ward can't control how many women are going to need care on a particular day? Unless it's more about managing the flow of patients off to the post natal ward and home?

Anyway, it was all fine and the other hospital were great, but it was really not what I needed to hear at the time!

GinIsIn · 07/09/2016 07:31

I'm with Olenna on this one - expecting DC1 at the moment and really would prefer not to have someone watching me the whole time!

PikachuSayBoo · 07/09/2016 07:36

Nhs is simply a business these days. So if I was paying for Sky TV and it didn't work for a week I would want a week's refund off my bill and the CCG see it the same.

They're not bothered about why it happened. Where I work we don't close very often but as it gets looking like we might there's always a major bed state meeting with matrons and consultants and they look at everyone on the pn/an ward to see who can be discharged. So when a unit closes its a last resort.

Hopelass · 07/09/2016 07:37

Mine stayed with me although there was a break while she went on her lunch for an hour. But I and baby were being monitored for high BP and low heart rate respectively so that might have been why. She generally just chatted to DH and I kept telling them to shut up apparently. I was sky high on gas and air
Don't know what'll happen with the next one in around 6 weeks. Different hospital this time.

HerRoyalFattyness · 07/09/2016 07:38

When I was having DS1 I had a mw with me constantly. I had a very long difficult labour.
With DD they were there mostly, but not always, and they were mostly reassuring DP, who hadn't seen DS1s birth so was panicky and didn't know what to expect, so it was for his comfort. They mentioned leaving and he looked like be had shit himself
With DS2 she was in and out until I was very close to pushing. It was lovely being just me and DP.

Sierra259 · 07/09/2016 07:39

That may have been the problem then, I was needing to go in at around midnight, so they're hardly going to be kicking people off the postnatal ward then!

HaPPy8 · 07/09/2016 07:56

Sometimes they have more than one woman in labour to look after so that could be why.

CRazzyyAce · 07/09/2016 08:02

First baby she barely spent time in the room she was a bitch and I should of put a complaint in I didn't know better as it was my first but she denied me a top up on my pain relief.

Second baby I was monitored but she came and went until she realised my waters had gone and the baby's heart rate wasn't right they suspected she may have pooped and In digested some so they sped my labour up and I was continuously monitored none stop. I delivered her in the morning she was by far the easiest labour.

Third baby he was back to back and I was induced it kept stopping and starting and I went for the epidural due to the baby's position I was monitored none stop with her going out to beep doctors as I didn't seem to progressing.

NotCitrus · 07/09/2016 08:19

Admitted to MLU 10am, transferred to CLU 6pm, half of that had MW in the room, half just popping in every half hour or so. Overnight in CLU it was MW checks every 30 min or so when my epidural and other monitors got out of sync.

Consultants got involved around 8am and then had MW there for a couple hours, then consultants took over and MW in and out until I went to theatre (ventouse). Second one skipped straight to epidural and only seeing MW for checks.

Me624 · 07/09/2016 09:25

Wow reading all of these experiences I think I was pretty lucky then ... I went to MLU (in the hospital) after 5 hours of contracting at home and was told I was only 2cm. After a battle with them about whether or not I could stay - I was in absolute AGONY - they said I could but would just be checked hourly. The midwife who checked on me just after I got into the room said I looked pretty bad and did another internal and said I had gone from 2cm to 9cm in the space of about half an hour. From that point on I had TWO midwives with me the entire time. I was transferred to the hospital unit after DS got stuck and the same two midwives came with me until a shift change and then I had another two right the way through until DS was born. They were all fantastic and couldn't do enough for me.

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