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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Want a water birth but have been told Im not allowed - help

78 replies

Mistiek · 26/01/2007 18:01

Hello all this is my first time on a chat site - wish I had stumbled on this site earlier.

I get so frustrated with the dam system here and the consultants. I have had on and off unexplained bleeding through out my pregnancy so have had to see a consultant a few times already. As I never see the same consultant I am constantly asked what my plans are for the birth as I have had a previous c-sec. They have been trying to force me to have a VBAC from day one and nalthough I have decided to keep my C-sec date on the 29 March I have told my midwife that if baby arrives earlier on her own I would like to try for a VBAC.

Now at 31 weeks I am considering VBAC only to be told I can not have the water birth I so longed for and cant be as active as I want to be due to constant monitoring.

This crap that how you labour and birth is a womens own choice does not seem to be that way if you stick with the NHS! It does seem that the consultants have the last say!

I would like to look at possibly going private to have a water birth now, can anyone tell how I can find out the info I need? sorry for the long message...

OP posts:

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crimplene · 26/01/2007 18:06

You could try the Independent Midwives Association - some of them would take you as a client, depends where you live whether there's one nearby who's willing to take on higher risk cases. Expect to pay about 2.5k, some do discounts if you're skint, so it's worth asking even if it sounds steep.

Original poster

Mistiek · 26/01/2007 18:26

I think what bugs me the most is that they have not classified me as high case as although I have bleeding and they are not sure where its comming from they do think its probably just from my ectrophian (cells on the outside of the cervix) and therefore I am not high risk. So The only reason they wont let me have a water birth is because of a previous c-sec.

OP posts:

crimplene · 26/01/2007 18:29

Well that's why I got an IM - they were suggesting that I had to be hooked up to a monitor throughout, plus I thought that the delivery rooms looked scary. The water was great. You do need to be sure that you want to take the risk though, however small it is, you need to be certain that you can handle the responsibility if it doesn't go as smoothly as you hope.

CocoLoco · 26/01/2007 18:30

You could have a water birth at home with an independent midwife.

You could probably have a water birth in a private hospital such as St John & St Elizabeth (if you're in London)

You could negotiate an NHS hospital water birth - I have heard of women planning vbacs say that if they're not allowed to have a waterbirth in hospital they'll stay at home, then the hospital gets a little more helpful and makes all sorts of concessions to their standard vbac 'policies'

OR you could plan a home waterbirth to which the NHS would have to send a midwife - they can't 'not allow' you to have a birth pool in your own home.

Unfortunately while you can refuse any treatment/monitoring etc, you can't demand to use particular hospital facilities, such as a birth pool. But you may find them much more accommodating if you threaten to bypass them altogether!

Contact AIMS if you want to stay within the NHS and aren't getting the support you need to give birth the way you want.

crimplene · 26/01/2007 18:33

Just re-read my post - no I didn't have the same risk factors as you, I got classifed as 'high-risk' but without much info as to what that really meant.

Original poster

Mistiek · 26/01/2007 18:34

Thanks crimplene and CocoLococ - you have given me some things to think of...

I will definately have another chat with my midwife.

OP posts:

crimplene · 26/01/2007 18:38

I'd say that the trouble with trying to get what you want within the NHS is that they wait till you turn up in labour and...oops the room with the birth pool is already in use, or the MW comes out to your house and tells you there's something not quite right with the baby's heart rate, and you'll just have to go in...Some are great, but there are too many who will not respect your choice once you're in labour or who don't want to spend the time talking it through properly and making back-covering notes about why you're making a 'high risk' choice.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 26/01/2007 18:41

im with cocoloco.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 26/01/2007 18:46

i had both mine in the pool at the hosp. on arrival the first time the 'older' midwife informed me i was 'at the wrong end of the corridoor' to use the pool.
on arrival the second time i was told there were not enough midwives for me to use it as i would need constant supervision. i told them to call the midwife whohad been looking after me and get her in on her night off- luckily she was more than happy tocome help me. and tbh, she let us get on with it unsupervised. we onlysaw her for baby heartbeat checks/temp checks etc and for the pushing.
make enough noise and you'll get it. they dont tend to mess too much with ladies in labour in my experience.
otherwise, say you'll do it at home or ask for another midwife.

lulumama · 26/01/2007 18:47

MistieK , welocm

would probably be best to start your own thread in the childbirth section, and ask the question that way, as you will get a bigger response !

also, if you do stay with the NHS.. you can decline constant monitoring,and remain active...you are more likely, INHO, to have a better chance of delivery, if you remain upright, mobile and active as long as you can....and stay at home as long as you can ! so you have the opportunity to listen to your body and labour on your terms

you can , as CorrieDale is doing, request a home birth, as it is your right to do so

i would also recommend you look at the AIMS & Homebirth websites, and the yahoo group for HBAC and VBAC to get some support in this..

that was my reply from the other thread , if you didn;t see it

also, you could look at having a doula..who can be there to support you before and during the birth, who can make sure your wishes are respected by the hospital and help you have a really positive birth experiences.

crimplene · 26/01/2007 18:50

I bet threatening to go home would work if they've got the staff! Perhaps it just depends on the culture in the hosp where you end up. I now know several people who've had unassisted births as they can't get/ afford an IM and the local NHS is more than they want to take on - so perhaps my views are a bit extreme!

lulumama · 26/01/2007 19:03

TBH...when i was in labour with my VBAC.,..i got to the hospital, 3 mins apart..midwife examinde me, said you are not in labour, you are not dilated..you are one of those women who doesn;t dilate, based on your history...

DH took her out of the room and gently, but firmly, explained the baby would be coming out vaginally and we were all going to work together as a team, to make it happen

and explained i had 4 years of severe PND triggered by my emergency c,s

she had a much more positive attitude after that

i got my VBAC......DD was born 7 hours or so after i got to the hospital, with no intervention and no tearing !

crimplene · 26/01/2007 19:47

Lulumama, One of the reasons they put me down as 'high risk' is a history of depression (nothing especially serious, took medication once age 18, no history of self-harm etc, just quite a few instances), they've done it to a lot of women - they wrote 'unsuitable for home birth' all over my file because of it. But I'd better not hijack this thread.

lulumama · 26/01/2007 19:48

really ? and how would a homebirth be a risk? surely making sure you had a good birth experience would be beneficial to your mental health? how odd.....sometimes, i really wonder if pregnant women are ever listened to !

lulumama · 26/01/2007 19:49

if you want to talk about it...go ahead !

crimplene · 26/01/2007 20:11

Cheers! I suppose it's sort of on the subject. I spoke to one of the MWs at the hosp sayiny that I was worried about the possblity of PND, as I'd had a long history of depression. Everyone I spoke to told me to keep it quiet, but I thought it would be sensible to make sure there was a 'safety-net' in place.

They referred me to a CPN who came to my house and decided that I was not depressed, but who sent another letter to my HV saying that my house was unsuitable for a baby (we're in the middle of DIY chaos) and that I was a risk to my baby. Meanwhile, a friend who works at hosp got cross-questioned about what was wrong with me (they knew we were associated as I'd given her a lift to work a few times). I decided to get an IM as I was pretty unhappy with the lack of control over the whole sitch and what was going on. Then I got hauled in to talk to her supervisor, who wrote the 'unsuitable for home birth' all over my notes, and who has tried to use it to discredit my IM.

After the (great) home birth I continued seeing my IM and asked to HVs to wait until she'd finished before coming to see me. They phoned her up (while she was sat in my house) and told her that my child could be at risk and that she'd report me to social services if I didn't let her come round immediately.

A couple of months ago I started feeling a bit down, so I (very very foolishly)called the HV I ended up with (after complaining about the first one) who came straight round and made me strip off DS to be 'weighed' (for the first time in months) didn't write down his weight, but was obviously just checking for bruises, and then told me to see my GP about the depression. GP says there's nothing he can do, as it's not serious enough.

The moral of the story? I dunno...Never admit you're have ever suffered from depression to anyone in the NHS unless you're truly desperate?

lulumama · 26/01/2007 20:14

that is shocking...and sounds like breach of trust / confidentiality re talking to others about you.....

my CPNs were lovely, as was my HV.the NHS can be so arbitary.....i told my obs i knew i would be depressed again if i had another c.s and he was sympathetic...

such a crying shame that sometimes, teh people who are supposed to help you , are the ones that can hinder you the most.....

i am glad that you got the birth you wanted....

but what a performance....very very distressing for you .....

crimplene · 26/01/2007 20:28

Ta. I don't think there was a breech of confidetiality. All of it's allowed under child protection stuff (oh, apart from some of the MWs talking to my friend, I see what you mean. I think they just asked her if I was OK).

I'm thinking of asking to see my medical notes to see if anyone's put 'warning, nutter' anywhere or something else to single me out, as I've had problems along the same lines before, and it can't be coincidence as my history of depression is really not anything to write home about, there have been a couple of over-reactions now. But I'm a bit chicken about it.

lulumama · 26/01/2007 20:31

well, i suppose you can go over your notes..it might give you some answers, and some closure,depends how much it plays on your mind and if it is stopping you from sleeping at night.

crimplene · 26/01/2007 20:34

but she did say it would cause problems at work if too many people assocaited her with me!

lulumama · 26/01/2007 20:36

that needs complaining about ! outrageous! goodness me......if the NHS stigmatise people with depression, what hope is there ????

crimplene · 26/01/2007 20:49

I just want to pluck up the nerve to read my notes and see if I can stop it happening again (it almost cost me a job offer in the past when the employer got one of these medical reference agencies and it came back really awful sounding, out of all proportion)

lulumama · 26/01/2007 20:50

an family /friends to support you in this?

crimplene · 26/01/2007 21:05

i think DP will. this has realy opened a can of worms for me. I haven't dared apply for any jobs where it might happen again so i've only been able to earn 1/2 the salary I used to, although not working just now. i really hadn't realised how much this has been messing up my life

lulumama · 26/01/2007 21:05

that is crappy..but if you can address it, and take the short term pain, to get the long term gain of sorting it, might be a good thing, no?

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