oh cr**p - postponed my elective c/s - now having major wobbles

[marymillington]

Sorry this is long....

After weeks of being wracked with indecision I was booked for a VBAC to take place next Monday.

Everyone - consultant, midwives (various), DH, mates - have been very encouraging about VBAC, I've been reading a lot and my head says its the right thing to do. Baby's head is 3/5 engaged, good position and was having strong Braxton Hicks. So on Monday my elective was postponed until Feb 8th (which is 3 days after my due date). But since then was made I haven't slept at all, I'm feeling horribly negative and unbelievably anxious, I'm totally daunted by the idea of labour and my mind is going through all the potential problems that could happen however slight . And weirdly, all my BH's have completely stopped, almost as though my body is saying, right we'll just have to hold on until the 8th then....I can't help thinking all this means that I have made the wrong decision.

DH is now saying, ring them up and get the section brought forward again. He's worried that I will go into labour and freak out.

am confused, mary, how do you book a vbac? i thought it involved going into labour naturally.

sorry i mean, booked for elective c/s

brain has gone wonky

ah! i had the same dilemma, mary, so quite understand. i had a second section, as i went overdue. am sure you've done the right thing. give nature a chance. my friend had a vbac, and gave birth to twins!

my advice would be not to worry. but to think what you want. weigh up the pros and cons of each because there are risks either way a cs isnt the easy option as u know but then again labour without the added complications of a previous cs is scary enough then when u have decided call the hosp and sort things out. u will have to act quickly tho u know how slow the hospitals are. they mite have allocated your slot to someone else.

i hope you get what u want tho.

im having an elective cs on the 6th feb and i am terribly nervous. but i would be just as nervous having a natural birth

I had a vbac with ds2 even though I was booked in for an elective as a result of problems I had with ds1. Ds2 arrived a month early so I gave vbac a go.

Emergency c-section with ds1 = worst, most terrifying experience of my life. Vbac with ds2 = the most fulfilling experience of my life.

Good luck.

I would say go with the VBAC....what have you got to lose? You'll be in hospital so if anything does go awry you'll be whipped round to theatre v.quickly!

There's lots of positive research on VBAC which far outways the negative. Don't think of it as a 'trial' labour tho, when you think of it this way you change the dynamic of the situation and subconciously you don't fully believe what your body can do.

Have faith in your body's ability. Just because things went wrong last time doesn't mean history will repeat itself.

Good Luck!!

Personally, I'd be standing in the consultant's office demanding a scan to check that all is well... it probably is, but I'd want to know for sure.

But, then, I wouldn't consider a VBAC for anything.

^Personally, I'd be standing in the consultant's office demanding a scan to check that all is well... it probably is, but I'd want to know for sure.

But, then, I wouldn't consider a VBAC for anything.^

Positive thinking

1st....why would you need a scan?

2nd....why wouldn't you consider a VBAC?

I would just want them to check that the baby is still moving and blood is still flowing as it should be to the baby. As I said probably everything is fine, but I would want to know for sure.

Don't think that view warrants a

And, she isn't considering VBAC is she? She's talking about moving up the schedule of a section that is already scheduled.

Do you know, I would have put your C/S date back to 10 days - 2 weeks past your due date so that you have a chance to go into labour naturally if you are hoping for a VBAC - no need for a scan as you are not going past your dates much.

Why did you have a C/S last time?

It is common for any woman to feel panic about impending labour - it isn't a sign that you won't be able to do it. I haven't met a woman yet who has regreeted trying for a VBAC - even if it ended in repeat C/S.

Totally agree with middymee - you need to try and have faith in your ability to give birth naturally. Why did you have a c-section last time? Are you worried the same thing might happen?

It's great that your consultant and midwives are being so supportive - you just need to believe yourself that you can do it. You probably can - many,many women have vbacs and in the unlikely event that you have any difficulties you can still have a c-section.

sorry you're feeling scared, MaryM, I was exactly like you all all last week although I hadn't booked a section, 3/5ths engaged, strong pains, terrible anxiety etc, wavering in my ability to have a vbac... I think the braxtons can stop if you're horribly anxious, the body seems to shut down a bit but try to relax. I had a very successful vbac Sunday morning and it was the best thing ever. Yes, I worried through it but I was reassured every step of the way and you're in hospital if anything goes awry, which is extremely rare... have faith in yourself you'll be holding your lovely baby soon whatever your decision is

I don't think you should stress about not havong Braxton Hicks - I never had any but still went into labour naturally. B/h are also no measure of the "health" of the baby, so I wouldn't read anything into them having stopped.

You say you are worried about potential problems of labour, but from what I read, VBACs are often not thought of as more dangerous than a vaginal delivery which has not been preceeded by a section. Why don't you ask your consultant about that - maybe s/he can put your mind at rest, especially is s/he is in favour of VBACs in general. As regards fear of labour in general, lots of women experience that, but from some of the stories I've read on MN, there are ways of dealing with that fear.

If you think you will regret not trying for a VBAC, then I think that is an argument in favour of having a go. I guess it just depends on how you will feel afterwards if you have the section. Sorry I can't help you more - it is just one of those decisions for which there is no black and white - just shades of grey!

mary...did you see my email yesterday? in reply to yours

oh honey.......

you can do this....you really can

your body has laboured, your baby is in a good position, partially engaged and good to go....

your body is gearing up to do this....

donlt bring section forward for DH....do it for you..

i'll tell you a secret.

i considered an elective, at 34 weeks.......me, the pro vbac queen...!! LOL i was so scared of what might happen in labour, i did have a wobble and thought sod it, i need to just know what will happen.

i spent a day thinking about it, and knew in my heart , it was so the wrong thing for me....

i didn;lt want to walk into the theatre for an op ... i wanted to give my body every chance to do this..so if i ended up with another c.s, then i knew, i could have done nothing more

as you know, the rest is history !

you need to do a list of pros and cons for each..

also, i knew it would be very unlikely i would have more children after DD>.. so wanted every chance to push one of my children out into the world, and be the first to hold them.....

you need to look in your heart and see what is at the root of this...whatever doubts you have about each mode of birth, need voicing and addressing !

thanks everyone.

i've been undecided re elective c/s vs vbac since the day i found out i was pregnant. i can say hand on heart that i truly don't give a hoot about the fulfillment or satisfaction of pushing a baby out. i don't think i would have any regrets about an elective c/s. i was happy enough with the emergency one i had first time (DS turned out to be OP and brow presentation......at 10 cms dilated). but the horror of the post-op ward at the hospital and the recovery time are my motivations to try for a VBAC.

so far this week i've stressed about retained placentas, baby turning OP and not being able to cope with the pain, baby getting stuck, any kind of instrumental delivery, scar rupture.........and i can't rationalise them away.

i went into my last labour so positively and it still didn't go to plan.

oh dear....

if you suddenly had to decide NOW......as in, NOW THIS MINUTE...what would you say?

i'd say where's the anaesthetist?

oh c*pity c*p

i see

so you do know what you want !

can you not put your finger on what it is that is holding you back from feeling comfortable with the decision ?

however small or silly it might be??

Marymilligan - the fact that you have laboured before and got to full dilatation gives you a really good chance at VBAC. My cousin had the same as you first time round - OP turning to brow at 10cm. Next pregnancy she was only in labour for 5 hours - straight forward normal delivery.

If you don't try you might always wonder. If you have a VBAC you could be home the same day

well, i can't help feeling (knowing) a normal delivery might be best for the baby (despite the stooopid SHO's words ringing round my ears about seeing lots more problems with VBAC babies)

and being home and in better shape for my little boy, who had had to put up with me being very boring in the past few weeks

but i'm worried about being so anxious and horrified that the experience will be awful regardless of how smoothly it goes.

which bit do yo think might be awful

SHO - re VBAC babies..think he is wrong, as vaginal delivery squeezes fluid from babies lungs, so can be better .......mears, will correct me if i am wrong...

I always say it really depends on whether you'd prefer to stand up or sit down in the new few weeks. If you have the natural way, you won't be able to sit. If you have a section, it will be really painful to go from lying on your back to sitting, and really painful to get to standing. Once you are you'll be okay. But, it will hurt.

Like you, I have no inner drive to experience a vaginal birth.

And, the last time I saw someone post that her contractions had stopped, and people advised her not to worry, she didn't. And the result was very sad. If I had staarted to contrat and then stopped, I would certainly want to know why. And oh don't worry about it it's probably normal would not satisfy my worries.

what bit might be awful? the pushing (as i've never done it before) - or rather the what if the pushing doesn't work? i think i would really struggle afterwards if i had to have forceps or ventouse.

i think you talk a lot of sense re c/s uwila, but i'm sure i'm not actually contracting yet, just BH's, and babe is as wriggly as ever.

MM it is completely natural to have fears and worries with regards to birth. The SHO is highly irresponsible saying that imo, however it is said!

MM... I agree completely with mears here. I think that you should give nature a go (you may well be skipping around telling us how super duper fabulous it all was in a couple of weeks). I've had a vbac (can't remember if you call the next birth after that a vbavbac lol as I've had one of those as well). It did me, my body and the babies the power of good.

I wish I could stay around to hear your answers but do you have anyone going in with you? And if you do, do you trust them? (that's the doula in me talking btw)

But the bottom line is... are you willing to give nature a go? I don't know the reasons why you had a caesarean birth the first time but remember that no two pregnancies and deliveries are the same. I see it in my work lots and lots and lots and know it of my own body.

Whatever you decide... you're in my thoughts.

so what youre saying that you dont wanna go thru all that again like you did with DS1?