I need something to make me feel positive about childbirth

[sexkittyinwaiting]

I'm due to have no.6 at the end of march. My first two were sections and then 3 uncomplicated vag births, the last one being exactly 13 months ago.
The last birth was very quick, very painful and a planned and sucessful homebirth. Big baby, big head etc. etc.
I'm planning to have this one at home too yet I find myself increasingly scared of the pain of labour.
You'd think I'd have found decent coping mechanisms by now, but I actually think I get more scared with each birth.

I really want to get out of this negative, panicky mindset. I can't think nice things like 'I'll have a lovely baby' etc. All I can think of is " shit it's really going to hurt and I have to go through with it" .
I have a lovely, supportive doula btw.

I just wondered if anyone could recommend any good books, cd's etc that might help to get me into a more positive frame of mind.
I should say that I've read "Ina May Gaskin' and it doesn't rock my boat
Thanks, sorry for being such a wimp

Wow - no 6 - congratulations!

Have you tried The Gentle Birth Method by Gowri Motha? You don't have to follow the whole programme but I found the yoga and diet fantastic. It also introduced the concept of visualisation to me and I found this useful. I've also been seeing a homepath who has really helped me see this pg (no 3) in a positive light (after 2 not great experiences).

Good luck!

I found gowri motha's 'gentle birth method' extremely effective for my 2nd birth(after an not particularly pleasant 1st birth). And i must say, I think I actually enjoyed my 2nd birth!

She does a book accompanied by a couple of CDs - one for birth preparation, and one for the main event. That self-hypnosis malarchy really can reprogramme your attitude to a more positive one...was pleasantly suprised!

There are lots of other hypnobirthing practitioners around, so might be worth a try?

Have you read both Ina May Gaskin books or just Spiritual Midwifery, because her Guide to Childbirth is far less hippyish

I'd second the hypnobirthing, I found it very helpful.

You're not being a wimp, I guess with fast births you have the same amount of pain but in a shorter period of time and your body doesn't have as much time to get the endorphins going.

One tip I got from Lulumama, after reading Ina May too, was to find a place in my mind where I can go during the pain.

I live opposite a beach so have chosen that as my 'away' place.

However, I have not been through labour only a miscarraige at 18 weeks which was very very painful, so you might think this sounds stupid (I would understand if you did )

Hi Kitty, remember me? I kinda feel the same.
Don't know if it's just because the last time wasn't that long ago???
People say you forget the pain, but I don't think you do....and even if it is worth it, it still bloody hurts!!
Sorry haven't got anything more useful to add

Hi Caz I do remember you, where have you been and how's it going?

UCM, sorry for your loss, that must have been a terrible experience to go through and OF COURSE IT"S NOT STUPID!!!!!!

Daisy MOO, I only read the spiritual midwifery I'll have a look for the other one, thanks

Brummie and annobel I'll check that out too, I have heard of it I think

Thankyou for you ideas

All is good with me.
Had a little panic a couple of weeks ago as the little bugger was breech, but it has now turned!
Haven't been anywhere but didn't come on for a while and then found it a bit too daunting to try to catch up, so hope you are all well on the March thread.

Sorry Kitty, I sounded a bit flippant re the miscarraige. What I was trying to say was that I have only experienced that pain, which according to my m/w would have been totally different from actually giving birth to a full term baby so goodness knows if my visualisation will work, I do hope so though.

I understand how you feel Kitty. I've had two unmedicated births, the second being a home birth, and I want a third baby, but the thought of labour puts me off. I'm scared of the pain, and I'm also scared of having an epidural because I've never had one.

I also don't know if I'd give birth at home or in hospital.

maybe you could look into acupuncture, having some before labour and having an accupuncturist present?

I have to say I had a very "easy" hb, but oh the pain when the baby's head comes out is not something anyone wants to repeat, but I just focused on G&A (not for everyone but it worked for me).

I had accupuncture three days before the birth, just to help me relax and sleep, it worked, imho, the accupuncturist gave me his home number and said to phone if my labour wasn't progressing etc, it was extra peace of mind.

I tried to stay positive about the birth too, I hope you get the birth you want and I know it is SO easier said than done but it does help to focus on the good things that happen in labour, you did get through that painful birth, YOU did it, and maybe you are not going to have that fast labour this time, fingers crossed, but be prepared too, oh that doesn't make sense really....

would second Ina May;s guide to childbirth, for the same reason as DaisyMOO!!! and am reading 'The Red Tent' at the moment, which is set in biblical times, but the descriptions of birth and midwifery in the book are compelling and mesmerising...

it reminds you of what birth is about

womanliness, strength, sisterhood, giving life, yes , feeling pain..but a good pain..that has a wonderful gift at the end....

of course it will hurt !! but think of the pain as a positive, that it is getting you somewhere, an uncomfortable, but empowering journey....

well done for wanting to address this negativity....you need to go into labour, like you would go into battle ! strong , focused , clear, eye on the prize !!

you can do it, you KNOW you can...it is all within you...try to connect with that energy again.

you need to get these negative fears addressed before the birth, should not be preying on your mind before hand..obviously, can;t banish them completely..but try to get a place in your mind to 'go; when the going gets tough !

Thank you all. yes I do need to address the fear. You know when you have the REALLY awful contractions of 8-10 cm and you literally don't know where to put yourself? THAT is the bit I'm really dreading. So it's a good idea for me to find a safe place to go in my mind so that i don't feel like i'm flailing around and vunerable. I'll get the Ina May book.

transition..yes,, the time where you say, 'i;ve had enough, i want to do this tomorrow'

that is normal..it is the most intense part of the first stage...your doula will be by your side, to help you keep focus and remind you that the baby is nearly there.......

'you need to go into labour, like you would go into battle ! strong , focused , clear, eye on the prize !!'

Love that lulumama!

Made me feel all amazonian and feisty reading that.

Kitty - if you're scared, there's no hope for me. My Mum's already told me off for 'over-reseraching'.

We'll be fine. It's only pain. Grrrrr.

Thing is Boo I REMEMBER what it's like, it's easier not knowing . It was a very fast labour last time, I had no time to get into the swing of things and I dilated 7cm in 20 mins. I'm hoping that won't happen this time . I need help coping with the last couple of contractions before the second stage (transistion) I don't mind the actual birthing at all, strangley enough , it doesn't really hurt like transition hurts iyswim!!

to try and slow down a precipitous labour..get down on your hands and knees, then head and upper body on the bed or floor and bum up in the air..takes pressure off the cervix.....could make things a bit more manageable...

How about booking yourself into hospital and treating yourself to an epidural?

Seriously, you've done it three times before you have nothing to prove, if you really can't face another labour just go for an epidural. Just make sure you get one early enough as your last birth was very quick, you don't want to wait too long and then be told it's too late for one.

Good luck and I don't think you are a wimp, I think you are superwoman raising 5 kids!

if kitty labours that quickly, by the time she gets to hospital, it will be too late ! never mind getting an anaesthetist and actually administering it !!

Lulu, do you know where I can get hold of the hypno birthing'Rainbow relaxation' cd?

not sure, can ask around.......i bet if you asked on the ante /post & birth threads ,someone would lend you one.......

hypnobirth website