Positive stories about episiotomy healing please!

[MrsTittleMouse]

DD was OP and after a long labour she still refused to turn, so she was born by ventouse. I was never told that I was going to have an episiotomy, but my MW told me that I had the typical J-shaped scar when she examined me post-natally.
At the 6-week check up, I asked the doctor to check out my perineum because the scar still felt quite stiff and tight, and she told me that it was healing OK, even though it was a bit tighter than usual. It didn't get any better, and at 12 weeks I went back to a different doctor at the surgery, who agreed that it was still quite stiff and suggested it was still early days and that time and sex (!) would help, but to come back if it didn't because she could refer me to the gynae, although they may be reluctant to help until they are confinced that I'm done child-bearing.
So far, I've only been able to take a little bit of DH during sex until it gets really painful. I have plenty of libido and natural lubrication, so that's not a problem. I also get sore putting stress on the scar (twisting etc), and it's still very stiff.
I'd really like to have stories from other women who've had episiotomy scars that healed well in the end. It's starting to freak me out!

Oh dear MrsTM, wish I could add something positive. Very similar story re delivery, only I knew the episiotomy was happening. My poor mum saw the tray of instruments and nearly died. Aannnyway....we are now 17 months down the line. My scar is about as wide as my little finger as the stitches opened up, not nice. It's also raised and red. I was advised to massage it and try to lift it away from the skin beneath with a rolling motion to avoid too many adhesions so I did that and used up all the perineal massage oil I had left over (Fat lot of good all that did me, harumph) I think the post-massage has helped a bit as it is looser now. But it is still uncomfortable and some knickers really rub (those go in the bin as we go!). Sometimes I move in a certain way and it's a bit uncomfortable. Today I rode my bike for the first time since and realised that it was going to be a problem if I did a long ride. At my first smear I asked about it and was told that the only thing that could be done was to redo it!!! And that quite often this offered no real improvement. It's enough to put me off any more kids as I couldn't bear another scar like this, or perhaps they take the opportunity to go through the same scar and redo it. I haven't had too much prob with sex, I think my main issues are with the external scar. I'd say patience and lots of lube will be the only way. Perhaps DP can massage the scar for you! On balance I think it has improved a bit over time but not as much as I'd hoped. Will look in on the thread to see any other experiences. I have a terrible feeling they are all going to be bad. I'd love to stand corrected!

Mine was awful for about... 3 months ish. I thought it would never heal! GP and MW said it was quite tight, and to use KJ jelly everyday (not for sex, just for extra lubrication). I didn't have sex for about 4/5 months, it was OK by then. I think some people are just slower healers maybe? Anyway, it's fine now. I can feel it still, and it's raised but it causes no pain - DS is 9 1/2 months xXx Oh, I used a ring cushion aswell for 4 months

Oh, pelvic floor exercises I think are supposed to help abit...

I had a ventouse and epi for my ds. At 3 days I was fine, at 1 week, I couldn't walk due to pain. It was infected. I had antibiotics, and it did heal slowly. At 12 weeks I went for a coil fitting, and the nurse could see it was still red and a bit inflamed, but I managed sex after 3 months with lots of extra lubrication, and not alot of pleasure to start with.

DS is 10 months now and it has been fine for a long time.

If it still causes problems, keep pushing your gp for a referral.

Thanks for all the support. It cracks me up that they will be reluctant to redo the stitches in case I have another child. How's that supposed to happen then?!?!?
I've also been told that if I have another child that I'll be quite likely to have another epi, as I'll be less flexible due to the scar.
Anyone had any experience of that?

PS I also did perineal massage, fat lot of good it did me...