Anyone finding hypnobirthing utterly useless?

[EnglishRose34]

I am 35 and expecting my first child one month from now. I am petrified of giving birth, and scared of tearing and all sorts of other complications. I enrolled myself on NCT and also hypnobirthing and in both cases talking about pain relief, natural or otherwise, has gotten me absolutely hysterical - I've started crying (privately in the toilets afterwards), feeling really low and suicidal, breaking out into a sweat and just feeling like I am going to faint.

I should add that I normally take Prozac for depression and anxiety but my doctor told me not to take this while pregnant or breast feeding so I came off it which I feel proud of although I've had some very dark days.
I'm really tempted to just pay for a C section in a private hospital (I've more than got the money to easily do this).

I did the hypnobirthing course but all the constant language used about 'no pain, no pain, no pain' just made me feel completely hysterical - the opposite of relaxed.
Has anyone else found hypnobirthing a waste of time? Does anyone have an opinion on what I should do?

Just to finish this thread as may be useful for somebodyelse - I gave birth in July and had a really easy straight forward labour. I had to be induced, so chose to have an epidural. It was the best thing ever. I felt no pain - only the level of discomfort you'd feel doing a fairly big shit!! 😂 I was actually chatting away to my husband and the midwife about all sorts for the first 95% of the labour then pushing for the final 20 minutes, had an episiotomy (which obviously I didn't feel as I'd had an epidural) and then pop out came my beautiful little girl. So after all those months of crying and feeling faint with stress and worry - I needn't have worried at all. 👍

I did hypnobirthing with my first and thought it was mainly a load of woo nonsense.

The breathing techniques did help me feel in control during the early stages of labour, so for that I'd give it a five out of ten.

But I ended up having an epidural (lovely, couldn't recommend it enough) and forceps (not so lovely but I couldn't feel anything, so...) due to baby being superhumanly massive.

Honestly, have an epidural if you feel the pain is too much. I loved mine. And no one comes round the maternity ward afterwards awarding medals or scores out of ten for 'most natural birth'.

Also, don't worry about tearing. The idea of it is really scary but I had a third degree tear and it healed perfectly and everything was totally fine down there after a couple of weeks. Can't even see the scar now (I've checked!)

You will be fine. As long as you feel like you're in control and you're the one calling the shots, your birth experience should be a positive one, however it turns out.

It's really, really ok to have an epidural. Mine allowed me to stay calm which was paramount to me. Yes, I'd like to try other stuff first next time (g&a made me panic and I was pushing before fully dilated so the decision for epidural was made pretty quickly although it definitely wasn't my birth plan!) but I hate the one-up-manship of birth that makes people who have a section/epidural feel like it wasn't real birth. The important thing is keeping you both safe, physically and mentally

Discuss it all with your mid wife. If she does not help with meds and putting in a plan see your GP and that is no good escalate. Maybe try NCT. You need professional help.

You'll be fine though with some support and your little bundle will be here soon.

You need to talk with someone about this. Have you spoken with your midwife? I suffer from anxiety and I understand how utterly consuming it can be. I'm also not great with pain, so you are in good company.

I've had two children, the first was an induction (tried an epidural towards the end and it didn't work right). I also will be honest and say I did feel myself tear. It's not nice but then none of it was nice. I wouldn't say that was the worst bit though.

The second was another induction but I fessed up to being wussy with pain the moment I got in there. I'd been really anxious about the birth after my first. The midwife was great and offered me an epidural before we started. It was heaven. Only it didn't last long as I needed an emergency section due to cord prolapse. Oh well, you can't plan for these things!

I guess what I'm trying to say is there is no shame in being scared but sometimes it can help to be really open about how you feel. I maybe tried to play down my anxiety with DD1 (I thought they would think I was an unfit mother) and as a result they weren't very gentle with me. With DD2 I opened up around 30 weeks and told everyone at every appointment how I felt. It really did help. In the end despite everything that went wrong it is the birth I prefer. I felt more in control even if in reality I wasn't!

As for hypnobirthing I have to agree with with Polly, "woo nonsense" about sums it up. Pain is a real thing and if you don't want to go through it you don't have to, but you won't totally think away the pain of childbirth with a CD. Please talk to your midwife. They are there to help you. Good luck.

You need to discuss this kind of severe anxiety around birth with your midwife. There are specialists in perinatal mental health that can help you as well as supervisor of midwives at your hospital that would be able to go through a birth plan to ease your anxieties. You can also have a c section on the nhs for mental health reasons. However if you've only a month to go you will be extremely pushed to get this agreed in time or access the proper help you need. I would contact your midwife or GP as soon as possible. I had a c section on the nhs for similar reasons after going through counselling on the issue. Couldn't have been happier with the result or my decision.

EnglishRose34 thank you so much for posting this update. Have just found out I need an induction tomorrow and am so pleased to have read your positive experience and others praise of the epidural.

Best get a good nights sleep and hope to get my Christmas baby!

I found it useless in labour.

I would check with the breastfeeding network's specialist pharmacist Wendy about medications that are safe when pregnant or BFing. She knows more than your average GP and Prozac may actually be ok, or she could suggest alternatives.

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/wp-content/dibm/anti-depressants-oct14.pdf

Another vote for juju sundin's birth skills! 3rd DC homebirth, I only needed gas and air for the last 10 mins, the rest of the labour was painful but felt totally manageable using techniques from this book. It's totally non-woo too.

Lol - just seen update! Congratulations!

I did not practice hypobirthing, or go to any antenatal classes for either of my children. I thought they "weren't my cup of tea".

I had two horrific births, count myself very unlucky for the things that happened. During my second labour I became pretty hysterical, pressed all the call buttons and screamed a lot. Total overreaction, but was panicking very badly at the time.

A midwife came and sat with me, and she just breathed with me. She ignored my hysterical pleads that it wasn't working and just kept softly telling me when to breath. It really did calm me down and you do become more on control/in less pain.

From that experience I do believe that hypobirthing probably does work/help. But if I had a third I don't think that would be enough to get me through. But you really don't know what labour is going to be like until you're there! I unfortunately haven't had a plain sailing labour yet.

I have had a lot of drugs which I could give my opinion on. I've had pethadine, diamorphone, spinal block, and epidural. (Sorry if I have felt any of these wrong)
If you are a panicker like I am, I only recommend an epidural. You feel in control, you are still aware of everything around you, and can feel the baby coming out but with no pain at all.

Please don't worry yourself silly. You will get through labour and you will do a good job! Your body will amaze you xxx

Also just seen update after posting! Glad it went great! Epidurals are amazing!