if grandparents, aunties/uncles live local

[backonthewagon]

When did you let them see baby? Did anyone not let them come to hospital for visiting?

the other thing I meant to say is, if you are having people to visit in hospital, make sure you co-ordinate who is coming to which visiting session, especially if they are only an hour long.
my lovely MIL insisted that it was more important that my mum came to the first visit, because I would want to see her. when my SIL had her baby, MIL had thought the same thing would happen and because she was SIL's mum, she would get the first visit. she was quite upset and felt a bit pushed out when BIL's family all turned up and she only got about 10 minutes to see the baby before she had to leave to make room for everyone else.

Father in law brought Dd in a couple of hours after Ds was born. The other grandparents and great grandma and auntie and uncle came the next day.

DS was born at 9.30pm. Both sets of GPs (my parents and DH's parents) came at visiting time the following day which was 2pm I think. Then my parents were going to come again the following day (I had to stay in another night) but we were expecting to be discharged so they came with my sister to our house on day 3 and stayed most of the day. They brought lunch, made drinks, put washing on etc and I was very happy to have them there. ILs came on day 4 and did the same, although I didn't feel too comfortable bfing in front of them so that wasn't quite so good.

Parents, aunts/uncles and some great aunts, came to the hospital. Everyone else came first night home from hospital and most nights for the first week or so and then in dribs and drabs for a few weeks after. Although in my family/area it isnt a "thing" to tell your visitors when to come. It is just normal that people turn up as and when. Some will call to check you are in, others will just turn up. Its just how it is.

Following as I have a 10 day old (third baby) and feel that our decisions so far re visitors has been viewed as odd by some.
I had a horrendous first birth with a number of complications and struggled with feeding afterwards too. The second time was tricky too. It's only through my more recent birth that I realise just how truly rough I felt the last two times. Both previous times both sets of parents visited in hospital the day after DS and DD were born. I stayed in hpsi

Oops! I stayed in hospital 4 nights each time. My parents are local. DH's mum and his step dad live 4 hrs away so stayed in a hotel for a couple of nights. My close aunt - who lives nearby - also visited a couple of days after we got home, as did both parents again. My BIL, DH's Dad and step mum and my sister and her kids all live 2-4 hrs away and came within a few days after I got home. None stayed with us - just did day trips - but it was too much, lovely as it was to see them. When people travel a fair distance to visit they don't just stay for an hour. I remember so wanting to sleep - as baby was asleep - when the visitors were there but couldn't.
My newest baby is up all night BFing and I'm trying hard to make BFing work this time round. I said before the birth I didn't want anyone staying overnight with us until a few weeks in so MiL stayed in a hotel for 1 night when she visited. We have less space to accommodate overnight guests now anyway. I also don't want loads of people around for any length of time when I'm trying to establish BFing. As helpful as any visitor is, it's still extra work. I hope in a few weeks time I'll feel happy and settled and will be ready to welcome visitors happily! A month old baby is still new and tiny too! My recovery this time has gone way better than I could have imagined, so far, but it could easily have been different and I didn't want the stress of lots of visitors if so wanted to manage expectations in advance.

My DH's cousin was the first to see our DD, she was going on holiday for two weeks the next day, so dropped everything to get to the hospital to visit with her husband.

My parents arrived next, then SiL brought MiL, and FiL lust made it before the end of evening visiting.

My brother and SiL were on the way to the hospital the next day, but we were discharged so they were sent to the house instead. Other BiL saw her later that week, and the 2nd BiL and his fiancée about a month later as they live at the opposite end of the country.

Other than a bit of soreness for me it was a particularly joyous time to look back on. MiL earned massive brownie points as she brought me rather than the baby gifts. The bag of chocolate she included kept me going through the night when she kept me in. She's a hospital stay veteran and knows the score!

The really important thing in the first week is that mother and baby have the time they need to recover, bond, breastfeed etc. That has to be the priority. Visitors come after that. So see how you feel each day. Explain to DP that he should ask you before anyone is allowed to visit and make sure that you don't feel pressure. Visitors must also be respectful that youR baby is your priority that week and leave when you ask them to. If everyone respects this you won't have any problems. If people don't have the ability to respect the above then have DP ready to have firm words or you will have huge problems. Often people get overexcited and forget some of the above. It's really not pleasant to be on the receiving end

Dc1 - a friend who works at the hospital came first (because she could sneak in!), my mum dad and sister came, dh's mum and sisters came. My aunt and her son came. I was in for two days.

Dc2 - my mum came. And only because I asked as dh was home with dc1 from 4pm so I asked if she could come up for an hour company. Nobody tends to give a hoot with dc2 hahah!! Though to be fair there was a bad cold doing the rounds after he was born so MIL and my own dad stayed away for two weeks.

A friend of mine is due dc2 next month and I've already asked if I can pop up in the evening if she's still there as she probably won't have masses of visitors.

My mum and dad came to the hospital for evening visiting hours. DD was born at midday, and my parents arrived at about 7:30pm so DH and I had 7 hours undisturbed with DD which was nice, but I'm so glad my mum and dad came to visit

tinytoucan on the days you had visitors did you just have one set per day?

DD1 I was in for 4 days- only allowed ex-p to visit. DD2 u was in overnight, came home on the Sunday and first visit was on the Wednesday. It was important for me that we had a couple of days as a family to adjust and for DD1 (8) to come to terms with not being an only child anymore before people came round gushing about the baby.

I'm so glad I did, so many people visited and forgot DD1 was there, totally focused on DD2 and made DD1 feel very sad. It was horrible.

Expecting DC3 at the end of the year, DP is going to miss the birth (armed forces) so will have no hospital visitors, and will again insist on a few days for family time before the masses descend!

Nobody but partner and daughter visiting new baby in hospital. Everyone else to wait until we said we were ready for visitors. 4d for grandparents and uncle/aunt, 2 weeks for wider family and friends.

Being able to bond and find a routine is essential and if they're not understanding then a word from your partner should be enough.

I totally agree about the importance of having time as a family before any visitors arrive. It's such a special time for you, your DP and the new baby, and of course if you're BF then it's also really important that you spend lots of time with your baby so you get to know his / her feeding cues and can feed whenever you need to.

When you are ready to have visitors I think probably depends on how your visitors behave. If your family are happy to pop round for an hour or two, maybe have a quick cuddle with the baby and then leave that's great. If your visitors are going to insist on trying to wake a sleeping baby so they can have a photo with them, expect to hold the baby for hours, or start questioning your decisions about BF then you might be best asking them to wait a bit before visiting, for your own sanity if nothing else!

See I always thought the hospital is the perfect place to have visitors - set short visiting hours. No feeling obliged to make Brews. Usually they bring snacks and stuff. No worrying that the loo hasn't been cleaned.

OP I've sent you a pm, but on the whole yes it was just one lot of visitors per day (other than the day we came home when we saw both sets of grandparents). I do agree with what napqueen says about hospital, but I think it depends how you're feeling at the time. I generally feel more comfortable at home so preferred having visitors there, but I can see the appeal of having them at the hospital instead for some people.

grandparent visited about 5 or 6 days post birth.
I wish I had someone visit me in hospital though because DP was with me all night, left about 11am, went home to change but the wanker went to the pub instead and came back a few hours later to see us. I had to hold my pee for ages because I was too weak to walk on my own and too scared of leaving my baby on her own. Hospital staff were incredibly busy.

Both my DM and mil were outside the operating theatre when I had DT, DF and FIL were waiting and all 4 came and saw me in recovery when I said it was okay. Hospital had visiting hours 14-16 and 18-20, so ILs came back at 14-16 with clothes and my Pils came back at 18-20 with both my Dsis, and one of their Dp who I really like. Came home from hospital on day 4, grandparents visited on day 5 (after asking) I love my family so really loved them coming to see me, although DH invited some of his family over without asking while I was trying to establish tandem feeding (which I have-) and mil stayed with us for the first week without a asking me.

I was happy to have visitors on day one with first and second DC.
DC3 and DC4 were both a bit poorly after birth and I was in for a week with each. DH came as much as possible but was busy with other DC. I was desperate for visitors. I had to phone and ask people to come and see me.
With all of them I was proud to show them off as soon as possible.

Only one person I know in RL banned visitors for the first few days, then people were summoned with strict time slots and a list of do's and don'ts.

We had DD late at night. Both parents, our siblings and one set of my grandparents visited at hospital the day or that evening when we got home and then over they next 3 days we went to visit the other 2 sets of our grandparents (wasn't sure if you meant baby grandparent or your own!)

My mum and dad both came to see me in hospital, though I had a few days stay after both births. Sil came to see me after dd2 was born, but only as she brought dd1 in to meet dd2 (who funily asked to go home with her after about 10 minutes).

Both sets of grandparents on the first night. Then both grannies the next day (I'd given my mum a shopping list as DS arrived early and I needed some things for him). Then all DH's siblings arrived every evening and wouldn't feck off for about a week. I really only wanted the grandparents there, or short, quiet visits from our siblings, but DH is crap at saying no to his family, so i endured hours of his lot laughing their legs off, passing DS around and taking photos (while mostly ignoring me). Then I got told off by the midwife for having too many visitors!

I've told DH that next time I want it to be much quieter, but he said his sibs would be really offended and anyway he'd be bored, so they have to come. So I'm going to see whether the midwife will intervene.

I like hospital for visiting! At ours the times are v strict and it is only 2 hours a day,one in afternoon and one in evening. far worse at home when people hang about for hours and want teas and coffees!!

DD was born at midnight and everyone came up that afternoon/evening. It was lovely to introduce her. We were in hospital for a week so I was happy for visitors every day.

This time I'd like to introduce DD to her new sibling first, then I expect will feel the same I.e. The more the merrier.

Depends on your relationship with your family. My family are really close and we're often with each other. My parents and particularly my little sister were around a lot! Which was great because I had an emergency c section, lost a lot of blood and DD needed an emergency op at 2 days old. So they were at the hospital with me at every available opportunity. (Particularly helpful as my ex was useless in a crisis haha!!)
Now my DD has a very close relationship with her grandparents, her uncles and especially her Auntie. Which is a wonderful blessing for her and me. I wouldn't have it any other way but I know mothers who feel differently. It's all down to what's best for you really