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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Devastating water birth news! Please help

86 replies

Tracey92 · 04/05/2016 12:15

Hi Ladies,

This is my first post so I am v. nervous and hopeful that I have posted in the right place!

So I am currently 31wks + 3 and doing well. I was living in Falkirk and so all my antenatal care was through forth valley royal hospital. I have since moved doctors and hospital as I am living in Glasgow. I am now registered with the Princess Royal.

I had my first midwife appointment today at the Princess Royal just to go over my notes and to be introduced to the team. I had been planning a water birth at FVRH which I was very excited about and so I mentioned this to the midwife. She then called down to the birthing area to confirm and told me that this was not going to be an option at Princess royal due to my BMI. My BMI is 43 and the limit is 40 for water births there. I am not going to lie I am absolutely devastated! I cried and cried (hormones) and to my utter shock the midwife said to me " Don't worry we have baths available on the ward so you can have a nice bath after the birth." What? I have no idea why she thought that anecdote was relevant!!!

Anyway I am now in a position where I have no idea what to do. I know I have to be flexible when it comes to labour but do I have any other options? Could I have a home birth with a pool or would they take issue with this too? I can't go back to FVRH as I have moved to far away.

Any advice would be helpful!

Also, due to PCOS I struggled to conceive for 2 years +, during which time I was trying to get my weight down and I did manage to lose some weight and whilst being pregnant I have lost a further 22 pounds. So although I know my weight is the cause of this problem I am now just trying to find the best way forward.

OP posts:

ReallyTired · 04/05/2016 23:13

"I went from you're only 1cm, you can't possibly be in this much pain, we'll do a trace, to oh shit emcs now in a few minutes. It can, and does happen."

It's rare, otherwise we would have more stillbirths.

The majority of women spend the early stages of labour at home. Some even (shhh!) have home births on the NHS. The safety record for homebirths in the uk is excellent as qualified midwives pick up problems before they escalate.

Continuous monitoring often leads to more problems than it solves. Intermittent monitoring with a sonaid is better.

ReallyTired · 04/05/2016 23:14

".. Think about how crazy it would be when each midwife/doctor/consultant has their own policy for everything. You'd never know what you'd get!"

It's not crazy. It's professionals using their professional judgement.

Mummyme87 · 05/05/2016 07:56

Request contact details for your supervisor of midwives and you can have a meeting to go through risks and benefits. guidelines are just that, not rules. A plan would need to be in place for evacuation of the pool, fetal monitoring (can be harder with increased weight), you're at an increased risk of PPH and shoulder dystocia

RedToothBrush · 05/05/2016 07:58

No its not.

They manage to do it in other areas of medicine.

Its what they are looking to try and expand and improve on. Its the goal of the latest reviews of maternity.

Its called 'woman centred care'.

And we should be doing everything to encourage it rather than making excuses to justify poor care and a lack of adequately explaining decisions to women. Anything that tells or even suggests to women they are somehow being 'demanding' is unacceptable.

Women WILL, in virtually all cases (though I appreciate a few execptions) accept that they can't always have what they want if risk is properly explained, they and listened to and respected, simply because they want the best for them and their baby and are capable of making that decision.

Currently they are not treated like that. That is a massive issue.

lilydaisyrose · 05/05/2016 08:01

I have had 2 x happy home water births at BMI over 40. 2 completely amazing experiences. I completely understand how you feel. I am prepared for a fight to ask for my next one as I am even bigger now.

I'd plan home birth and hire/buy a pool in your position. I am a huge believer in the cascade of intervention.

Huge luck and love to you, please let us know what you decide to do.

HaPPy8 · 05/05/2016 08:19

Another reason is that it is harder for the midwives to use the hand held doppler to find the babys heartbeat with a high BMI, and this is made even trickier in the water where they have to reach down into the pool. I hope you have a happy healthy birth.

Eminybob · 05/05/2016 08:29

I understand it's hard to accept, I wanted a water birth that didn't happen (was in the pool for all of 20 mins before first having to get out to be catheterised, then had to have a canulla fitted)
However, believe me, once your baby is here you will not care one jot if you delivered in water or not.

HSMMaCM · 05/05/2016 08:30

I was all prepared for a water birth. When I got to the hospital there was meconium (sp?) in my waters, so I wasn't allowed in the water. I was really upset for about 15 minutes, before the whole birth experience took my mind off it. I still wonder what it would have been like, but the important thing is to have a healthy baby and mum.

ReallyTired · 05/05/2016 09:36

Fetal monitoring can be done with a sonaid every 15 minutes. Continuous monitoring can be counter productive. You might have to climb out of the pool while the midwife monitors you for a minute or so.

The risk of PPH and shoulder dystocia happens in the second stage. If you use water for the first stage then it would not be an issue. You might have to compromise and have the second stage on land.

ReallyTired · 05/05/2016 09:36

Oops I meant to have the first paragraph in quotes.

superwormissuperstrong · 05/05/2016 09:54

Can I just add something relating to a first pregnancy that I wished had been said to me - or if it was that I had actually paid attention to - scrap your 'birth plan'.
I'm naturally a planner so I did lots of research, and worked out what was the ideal birth and wrote a plan that I thought would achieve that. Did hypnobirthing, pushed for the pool in the midwife unit - then had complications while in the pool and was transferred to the consultant wing and had a very medicalised birth. I was devastated - having the birth plan really didn't help and made the time in hospital worse for me.
Yes - do all the research so you understand all the options that might happen, but be flexible and open to know that your personal situation might change from hour to hour as you are giving birth.
Talk and talk some more with your hcp's but don't get too fixed on things that mean you feel 'devastated' if they are suggesting different to what you want. Maybe you will get the go ahead to a water birth if you don't develop any of the complications they are worried are associated with high bmi, maybe they are black and white and will not give permission in any circumstances. Either way you it will be easier on your mental health (and probably also physically) as you get nearer to birth if you are not unhappy with your situation or feel unhappy about the medical team that are looking after you. Its so hard to manage feelings when hormones are playing with your emotions - make it easy on yourself to stay 'happy'.

ReallyTired · 06/05/2016 11:34

A birth plan is useful as guide. It means you have thought about what you would want in an ideal world. A birth plan becomes a problem when it takes on a life of its own rather than facilating bringing a new life into the world.

kiki22 · 07/05/2016 08:11

Hi OP are you still here? I'm at the princess royal too this will be my second baby there. What consultant do you have? Where shouts in Glasgow are you? Could u change hospital? Where I live I would have went to wishaw or prm.

CustardLover · 07/05/2016 08:19

I wanted a water birth too but was heavily bleeding with my DS's labour so I couldn't. Honestly, the rules are there to protect you and the baby and once your baby comes you won't think about this ever again. Sorry you're disappointed but if you try to focus on the baby more than birth,it might make you feel better - it helped me anyway. Good luck X

Spudlet · 07/05/2016 08:30

I also wanted a water birth, but, like you, was not able to have one. In my case, I had to be induced, which meant Delivery Suite as opposed to the midwife unit, and there was only one pool there, and I didn't get that room.

Like you, I was really upset and scared in advance once I realised this was probably going to be the case. I remember thinking this was the slippery slope from the active, natural, water birth I wanted to a OBEM-style labour on my back with hundreds of interventions topped by my personal big fear, an episiotomy.

However! I was wrong. I didn't get my water birth but I did labour upright, and had no interventions at all, and delivered a healthy baby boy. Four months down the line, I can see that my upset about the water birth was a symptom of how I felt about labour more generally- afraid of losing control and not being listened to.

Think

Spudlet · 07/05/2016 08:42

Pah, sort, said child hit the post button with his random morning arm flailing!

Think about how you're feeling. Is this part of a wider issue to do with your feelings on the birth more generally?

I know that right now, you are probably totally focussed on the birth, because I was. It's the thing you prepare for, the emphasis of the whole pregnancy and also what lies beyond is hard to imagine. It is a big deal, but it is one short stage in something much bigger too.

Dakin1 · 07/05/2016 08:46

Can you ask if you can labour in the birth pool but get out to give birth? I did that and the pool helped the contractions but I was actually really pleased to be out for the birth.

1001questions · 07/05/2016 14:33

This sounds like box-ticking nonsense to me. Personally I would never want a water birth or any type of VB - however I strongly believe you should have the birth that you want and should fight for it. I would second those who've said go for another hospital trust.

Howmuchisthatdoggyinthewindow · 07/05/2016 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1001questions · 07/05/2016 16:59

^^ gosh. Judgemental much?

OP please make sure your are fully informed on the reasoning behind the decision and if you think any risk articulated to you is within what you are comfortable working with, look and request this elsewhere. Good luck.

Babettescat · 07/05/2016 17:17

Honestly when I read the words "devastating" and "birth" in the same sentence in the thread title my heart skipped a beat as I opened the thread.

Thankfully - the title was misleading.

The rules exist for a reason. You can do what you want. But the medical community in general isn't out there to ruin your life/make your existence hell/devastate you.

maisiejones · 07/05/2016 20:04

I can't believe the number of people on this thread who are telling OP to have a home birth with a pool instead as 'they can't stop you'. The medical staff and midwives are saying that she is too high a risk for a water birth and others are encouraging her to ignore them to get her own way (and to create an even higher risk situation)? How irresponsible. She certainly will be 'devastated' if she listens to this to the detriment of herself and/ or her baby!

Fourormore · 07/05/2016 20:19

It doesn't sound like the OP has been fully informed on exactly what the risks are for water birth and high BMI. Until she has that information, she can't make an informed decision. She is entitled to make a fully informed decision and not be at the mercy of cut offs, especially when they vary from hospital to hospital.

WutheringTights · 12/05/2016 13:51

If it's an consolation I hated being in the water. After a few minutes I was begging to get out. The midwives persuaded me to give it an hour and by the time the hour was up I couldn't wait to get out and there was no way on earth I was getting back in. You never know how it will feel on the day. A friend had the "perfect" water birth. She also got to stage where she hated being in the pool but felt she had to press on because she'd fought for it so hard.

Runningupthathill82 · 15/05/2016 20:42

OP - even if you were "allowed" a water birth, the odds are that you still wouldn't have one. I aimed for a water birth with both mine.

With DS I was in the water for hours, but had to be transferred out to the consultant led area as we got into difficulties.

With DD, the pool room was free (luckily) but the pool was only just filled in time for me to hop in and push her out, as the labour was so fast. Til that point - while it was filling up - I was on all fours on the bed.

After DD was born the midwife was elated, because she'd officially "done" a water birth. She said a miniscule proportion of the women who start off in the water actually deliver there, so she hadn't ticked one off in her training yet (or words to that effect, I was in pain and feeling woozy!)

As for "devastated" - well, that's overegging it. A lot. Birth plans very rarely work out, and the rules are there for your safety, not because health professionals are mean.

I'm fit and well, with a healthy bmi, and I struggled to get out of the pool when everything went wrong in my first labour. I imagine it would have been far more difficult with a bmi of over 40.

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