So scared

[JhurstB]

I'm pregnant with DS2, DS 1 will have just turned 12 months when I'm due (currently 38 weeks pregnant) & I'm dreading things things this time around.

This baby was a shock and we didn't find out we were expecting till 23 weeks (periods hadn't returned, no weight gain, no symptoms etc) so it all feels like a blur.

We have everything ready, but I still don't feel pregnant so to speak. I'm still fitting in my normal clothes and just have a little bump which looks like I've ate a bit too much.

Anyway, now my due dates nearly here I'm constantly thinking about it and to be honest, I'm terrified! I thought I'd be less scared after knowing a little more about what to expect this time around, but just the thought of giving birth again makes me feel physically sick.

DS's birth wasn't necessarily traumatic, I arrived at hospital when I was 7cm and I was pretty much left to my own devices. I was in the birthing pool with just gas and air right up until the last minute, when my waters broke and there was significant meconium staining. I had to get out and delivered a couple of minutes later on the bed.

I coped last time around, I know I can do it, I've done it before, so why am I so terrified this time around? It was probably the most painful thing I've experienced, but I managed. I have all these thoughts in my head thinking that this time around, I won't. I don't think it helps that during DS's birth I felt a little intimated by the midwives and I was too scared to ask for anymore pain relief. The midwives came just before DS was born and just poked their head in to check everything a couple of times beforehand.

Has anyone else been like this with their second?

(Sorry for the unintentionally long post)

It's a bit late perhaps but do your hospital offer an afterthoughts service? I had mine a few weeks back (36 weeks atm) and it was fantastic - it was so nice to sit down with a midwife and understand what happened first time around. The midwife made us feel so much better about second births as well - she said the body is so much more prepared for it as things have been stretched before and the pushing stage is usually much quicker.

Bless you, it must have been a shock. I have a relatively small gap (17 months) and sometimes it still doesn't feel like it has sunk in even though it's a planned pregnancy.

A few of my friends had such rubbish first labours they marched in second time around and demanded epidurals. When the midwives started all the "but you are doing SO well" stuff their hubbys backed them up, saying all she has wanted is an epidural throughout the pregnancy. They got them and had a relatively fine time.

If you found the midwives unhelpful, could you move hospitals? I've just transferred at 36 weeks.

Would you consider a doula? You need someone there for you and to speak up for you if you can't.
This time may well be quicker and easier.
Good luck.

A doula could be helpful, or just a really good friend that you trust fully?
I'm 25wks and due date is when my first will be 18 months... not planned!
I had a home birth first time round and am planning another, so my advice would be is to try to not think about it! Just let your body go and it will do it, its simple.
I am a bit more apprehensive this time around, knowing whats coming but whether i want it to or not, it IS going to happen! So i have decided i will enjoy it :)
It's inevitable, though being scared will not help.. Ahh its a bit catch 22, you just have to let go of your fears really :)
I hope you have a nice birth, its an amazing chance to experience something truly magnificent, you are the portal that brings life, its pretty awesome :D