Toddlers visiting you in hospital after birth of DC2

[BettyBi0]

I'm currently trying to decide between ELCS and VBAC for DC2 but that's another issue.

What I'm wondering is how people normally manage things childcare and visiting wise with their toddlers if they have them. DD1 has just turned 2 and I've never spent the night away from her before. She's been babysat several times but has always been sound asleep throughout so she has no real experience of it.

My parents live about 4 hours away and will be looking after her while I'm in hospital. Because of the distance they aren't too close/ familiar with each other but all of my local friends are working or have toddlers of their own so could only really help with the odd few hours of childcare here and there.

I'm so worried about DD1 being upset while we are apart and I'm wondering if her visiting me in hospital would be a good thing or not?

A visit to me post birth would mean my parents getting the tube into central London with the buggy which they have no experience of. They are pretty doddery and my Dad has a really sh*tty temper when stressed which I'd like to minimise the risk of DD1 ever experiencing if poss. Plus the weirdness of visiting the hospital and having to say good bye might make things worse for DD1. I don't know! Do other people's toddlers cope ok with this?

Another c-section would probably mean 2 nights away from home. Last time I was so dependent on DP being with me 24 hours to pass me the newborn as I was so groggy and sore. This time I'm hoping DP can nip home (45 mins away) to spend some time with DD1 and hopefully do bath/bedtime. Bedtimes have not been easy recently since moving DD1 from cot to bed. Does this sound feasible?

Any advice greatly appreciated as I'm more worried about DD1 than the actual birth of DC2.

We had ds do a test sleepover with grandparents (live about an hour away), then I went into labour overnight, phoned my parents to say "you know you were coming to entertain ds today? Could you come earlier? Like, now?" - they eventually arrived 90 min later for him just as DP was getting Mrs Neighbour over to mind him, we went to hospital.
Gave birth just before midnight so I stayed in, DP went home to sleep, then he returned for 8am and stayed with me all day until we got home at 6pm.

So ds stayed a second night with the GPs, then next day was brought home, got to meet his sister and be presented with a present 'from' her, and then was taken to nursery to tell them all about it (so we had from 11-6 that day in comparative peace while my parents tidied and cleaned!)

It really helped that all his friends already had "babies at their houses" so he ended up wanting one too!

I read a book to my 20 month old each night about a child getting a baby brother/sister.

I didn't let my little one visit me in hospital as I thought it was quite likely they'd just get upset at leaving me.

My ds was 2 when ds was born. I was admitted to hospital for a few nights at 30 weeks and he came to visit and cried at the end when he realised I wasn't going home with them. Which started me crying and it was awful, he was dragged out screaming 'mummy!' and I was sobbing on the bed!
When did was born I said under no circumstances was he to visit - I couldn't go through that again. I had a section so was in for 2 nights. On the day I was discharged DH brought ds with him to pick us up, it was lovely. Ds got to meet his sister and we all left together. Be prepared for how huge your first child looks though- when ds walked into the hospital to pick us up he looked massive, as I was used to dealing with a newborn for a few days!