OP I can relate and was about to post my own similar query. I'm 30 weeks pregnant. With DC1 3 years ago I fully prepped for an intervention-free birth. I did a hypnobirthing course, Daisy birthing (natural birth focused ante natal class) and the usual NCT and NHS classes. I hoped to use the water pool for pain relief and maybe birth. I had a prolonged labour, first and second stages were very long, and labour also didn't progress, which turned out to be due to baby being back-to-back, so I needed the syntocin drip eventually. I was unable to use the pool due to a small bleed and did my entire labour on gas and air, including pushing, resisting the epidural for fear of it leading to further interventions and difficulties breastfeeding (as per the NCT class script). I used my hypnobirthing / Daisy breathing techniques to use the gas and air effectively. I bounced and rotated on a birthing ball for hours, maybe days... But my baby stayed badly positioned, facing the side, and ultimately I couldn't deliver him myself and had to transfer to theatre for spinal and forceps. I haemmorhaged after delivery and had a retained placenta that needed manual removal. I had a blood transfusion before leaving hospital. I had real pelvic floor issues for months afterwards which needed regular physio and also major problems breastfeeding.
Initally, I was keen on an elective c-section this time, not least to protect my pelvic floor, but then started considering natural birth, as people keep telling me it's bound to be easier this time. But I just can't believe them. My consultant supports me either way and feels there's a good chance I could have a straightforward vaginal birth this time, but cautions against having an epidural if I want to avoid forceps again, which I really do, but equally, the prospect of another labour like my first with only gas and air fills me with fear. My consultant says that due to my pelvic floor issues last time, she'd approve a c-section if that's what I want but also cautions about the risks attached to c-section.... I just cannot decide what to do! I've joined a few natural / positive birth / doula-led groups on FB and while I want to believe the positive birth stories, I just can't believe they could be mine. I also get frustrated with lots of the advice given on them e.g. a back-to-back baby is not a problem in and of itslef so you really shouldn't worry about it and midwives shouldn't tell you if baby is back-to-back as it'll just scare you... ??!!
I feel I fully bought into all that stuff last time (your body knows what do to, trust your baby and your body,you should resist a cascade of interventions, an epidural will mean you'll struglle to breastfeed etc) and yet it didn't work out as it should have then, so why would it now, when I'm much less on board psychologically?! The various complications I had are statistically very unlikely to happen individually, let alone more than one at a time, so I feel very unlucky and let down and can't see why my luck will be any different this time.
I started the same ante-natal course that I did before DC1 last week and have decided not to go again as I found it so difficult to sit through and a bit triggering (I think that's the right term). It's mainly first time mums who go and, like me last time, they all lap up the positive birth stories that are read out and the mantras that your labour will only stall if you don't 'rotate to dilate' enough. I just wanted to scream at various points! I've also joined some planned c-section groups to get the other perspective too. Thing is, everyone I've spoken to or asked in real life or online who had an elective c-section has only good things to say about it, especially if they had a difficult vaginal birth before it. Emergency c-sections seem not to get such good reviews and I think tend to skew the overall perception of c-sections.
Sorry to hijack your thread but wanted to explain that you're not alone! Also, hypnobirthing might not be the magic bullet suggested, unless you're really really open to it.