Getting over a difficult labour? :-(

[KatyK1980]

Hi all,

I was taken in to be induced last Wednesday at 40+12. However, once I'd had the prostin pessary everything went a bit crazy with constant contractions and the baby showing distress, resulting in a trip to theatre where my baby was born with ventouse assistance with the cord round his neck. As soon as he was born he was taken off to be put on oxygen as he was still showing signs of distress. All in all I found the whole experience really traumatic, I felt confused and out of control the whole time (which wasn't actually that long as it was all extremely fast). Very different to my first child's birth.

I'm massively grateful and happy to now have a lovely baby who is totally OK after his initial ordeal, and the care I received in hospital was wonderful, but I keep replaying it all in my head and it just all makes me feel so sad (although I'm also rather hormonal right now!).

I feel a bit silly for not being able to just put it behind me. Has anyone else experienced this after a difficult labor?

You are not being in the slightest bit silly at all. Can you ask for a debrief?

It's been a very short amount of time. My labour was comparatively 'easy' but I still found it quite a traumatic experience and had flashbacks for several months after the birth. I don't think people prepare you for how stressful it can be, and it sounds like you had a particularly tough time

Time will help, as will talking about it. And yes, you can ask for a debrief if you want to.

Congratulations on your new baby!

It really helped me to go through my notes with a midwife and put together a timeline of what happened when and why. Some areas call it Birth Afterthoughts service.

Thank you for the replies! I had never actually heard of having a debrief. I will talk to my midwife when she visits tomorrow. Thanks xx

You're not being silly at all. There are a lot of women that find it hard to get past their birth experiences but no one ever knows that because we are not allowed to say that, tbh "You have a healthy baby" etc etc. Therefore they find it hard to get help.

It took me until my son was 3 to force myself to get therapy to overcome his birth and eventually have a birth debrief. The debrief, that I didn't know you could even have, really helped me as I had no idea why they did what they did because they didn't even talk to me. But finding out what happened, what they did to me and why reassured me that it needed to go that way and it wasn't my fault. It was just a shame as it was going well then at the end everything escalated into panic and I had no idea why.

I'm going through therapy atm for PTSD and I really feel for once in my life since having my son that I can put his birth behind me in time. It was a dark time.
I think you should ask for a debrief and if you feel you need to, go to your GP and ask for a therapy referral as you replaying it over in your head could be a sign of birth trauma.

ayria sorry you've been through such a rough time, glad to hear you're starting to get over it all with some help now I appreciate your advice xx