For those of you who have had easy labours, what do you mean? Please give me hope!

[Missingcaffeine]

My first labour was 17 hours long, natural delivery, used the pool and a bit of gas and air, and no complications.

I am now pregnant with my second and absolutely terrified about going through labour again.

I got to 7cm before going to the hospital with just TENS but the last 5 or 6 hours were contractions so painful they consumed me completely. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I knew I was too distressed to even consider getting into position for an epidural and I just couldn't face anyone touching me. I was just in my zone, trying to get through each contraction with all the mental effort it took. I just don't think I can go through that pain again and remember thinking the whole way through how sad I felt as I didn't think I could ever give that baby a sibling. Well I did get pregnant again, and so here I am, 20 odd weeks away from having to do it again but just feeling like I can't but not really with a legitimate reason, as really I had a textbook 'easy birth'. I did have grade 2 tears, but that was nothing compared to the pain of the contractions.

Stay on your feet. Avoid the bed, use it to rest your elbows on.

2nd births are usually shorter that first births. My advice is to put it out of your mind for now, 20 weeks is a very long time to the birth. Deal with it in half an hour segments, when it comes.

I asked the midwife to help me be more in control, by saying, ' I wanted to be more in control than this', she helped me breath long and slow between contractions. A wet flannel on your forehead, if you have a birthing partner, they can re wet it, focus on the cool sensation, the refreshing cool flannel.

Any reason why you wouldn't have an epidural?

Was your first back to back? That can hurt and stall things?
My second was much quicker. First 10 1/2 hours. Second less than an hour!
Consider birthing positions and pain relief like water.

Tens machine worked brilliantly with my second two. But you need to start using it from the very, very first twinge. Good luck!

My first was back to back, took forever and was really difficult.

Second one was much easier. Regular twingey pains all day that became uncomfortable about bedtime so I stayed snuggled and dozing on the sofa. Woke DH about 7am, had a cup of tea and breakfast, got to hospital about 8am, was asked to wait in a delivery room until after midwives shift change for assessment but had baby before she got there! It sounds a bit daft but I felt almost euphoric about the whole thing

Good luck

I recommend reading Juju Sundin Birth Skills. My labour sounds very similar to yours but because of using her techniques I consider it an easy labour. I would do it again in a heartbeat (the newborn months not so much...)

Thank you for all your responses.
I don't think my baby was back to back, at least the midwife didn't say that he was - but I supposed he may have been.
My baby did have a big head (98th percentile) so whether this was a factor, but I don't think so, as it was the contractions I struggled with more than the pushing.
I did use TENS from early on - which I found really helped but I still struggled for hours at the end.

I know you said you prefer natural but maybe consider an epidural, with dd1 laboured for 26 miserable hours before finally having an epidural and I totally understand what you mean about getting into position for it, it was incredibly hard but so worth it.
I then had 4 pain free hours of labour and honestly enjoyed it, I have nothing but positive memories and remember every second whereas the first 26 hours were a blur and I still feel a bit robbed of the experience.

Dd2 was quicker (15 hours) but much more intense and I asked for an epidural as soon as I got to hospital although it took 6 hours before I was finally in the delivery room and the anaesthetist had put it in, again the experience afterwards was much better.
I had one that I topped up myself so I could let it wear off a bit when I felt ok and didn't have any for the 2 hours of pushing.

With both epis yes I stayed on the bed but I was up and walking around and showering within an hour of the births.

This labour could be half as long, mine was.

My second labour 2.5 weeks ago was nice & easy - my first was rotten (forceps under spinal in theatre after about 24 hours of very painful contractions).

Recent one went thus:

• irregular contractions started 10.30pm. Dozed on and off for a few hours
• got up and dressed at 3am as they seemed more regular
• called in laws to look after DS1
• went irregular again before they even arrived. Bounced on my gym ball reading a book for a few hours. Contractions totally manageable on 2 paracetamol
• called hospital at 8am. Agreed to go in in about an hour to miss rush hour traffic
• went in. Blooming contractions slowed down again in the car
• student midwife did heart rate monitor for a bit. Actual midwife suggested going to get a coffee and have a walk as contractions still 5 mins apart and I could talk through them
• got coffee. Had walk. Within an hour they were every 90 seconds. Went back to delivery room and hit transition within 5 mins
• had to lie down for internal - was already fully dilated. Made mistake of staying there. Contractions slowed down. Midwife made me get up to go for a wee as thought full bladder might be slowing things down
• never had that wee - had baby in the en suite! Bit of a squeeze with me, midwife, student midwife and DH in there! Just after 11am.

Had a bit of gas and air (more for being stitched up afterwards and delivering the placenta tbh) but nothing else needed. The only hard bit really was the bit from getting back to the delivery room to the baby being out - less than an hour.

Best of luck! Second labours are statistically so much more likely to be quick and easy. I was just as worried as you sound but so relieved with the hand I was dealt.