Birth choices - the right/wrong answers

[Cinnamon2013]

Hi

Just booked an elcs for dc2. Emcs last time. After a lot of thought and consideration I'm happy enough with the decision.

Last time I hoped to have a hypnobirth. I keep seeing friends on FB talking about their lovely natural births and hearing the same in real life. I am (genuinely) happy for them.

But then I think why in this age of full good discussion about consent, women's control over their bodies, abortion etc. is it still (at least in my experience) pretty much taboo to talk about the potential plus points of caesarean as a birth choice.

I still feel it's the 'wrong' answer to give to people even though I'm content it's the right choice for me.

Does anyone see what I mean, or am I overthinking...

Really interested in views. But please don't flame me :)

I am currently pregnant with my second child and after a ridiculously traumatic labour which gives me palpitations whenever I think about it, I have been asking for an elcs from my first appointment.

The rigmarole I have been through is nothing ordinary, I have been dismissed by my male consultant as a hysterical women, told that second births are easier by just about every health care professional I've met and eventually sent for counselling.

The counselling really helped me deal with my previous birth trauma, but if anything it showed me that I really do not want to try another vaginal birth, the idea petrifies me, and even attending the councillor in the maternity unit stressed me out and brought back horrific memories.

I agree with junosmum if men gave birth, this would all be sorted years ago, we've been at it for thousand's of years ffs.

I now have to wait to my 34 week appointment before birthing options can even be discussed (well with anyone who can make a decision), which is crazy, I've been under serious stress each time I think about getting this child out, I wish it could have all been organised at 12/20 week appointments.

Anyway I'm rambling, there needs to be something done within the health care profession to listen to women and their needs, rather than just assuming we are all hysterical women. Its not the Victorian era ffs. We should have a choice.

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience, mrwriter - it sounds awful. At my hospital you would - on the basis of your feelings alone - have had no trouble getting agreement on an elcs. It seems to be the luck of the draw on these things. I agree it's tough to have to wait till 34 weeks - that's most of your pregnancy spend worrying or in limbo. Keep pushing for what you want, don't let them minimise your emotions or experience of bully you. If you don't get the result you want right away come back here for advice. Good luck.

MrWriter - no one would make a commitment to me until I saw the doctor at 36 weeks but when I did see him it was just a formality and we booked the date there and then. I'm sorry you're so scared. Make sue you're armed with the NICE guidelines (which I understand support maternal choice) in case you need them. Good luck.

It does seem to be a hospital lottery which is bloody ridiculous in this day and age, and a lot depends upon your consultant and whatever ideas they have.

CorBlimey I really hope mine is the same and he just agrees when I go in to see him. It's crazy stressful having to wait this long.

The only response to why is 'because its the best option for me and my baby'.

Any more questions after that, are 'its a decision that has been made by me and my consultant based on my personal risks'.

I had an ELCS. I don't feel judged for it, because people who judge are ignorant fuckwits who I regard with the same contempt I would for someone judging an individual based on something like their race for example.

I like having choice. I could have a Cs for my third, but I don't really want to, that is my own personal choice (a heavy 2 year old who would not understand the no lifting policy). But I have advocated for others who wanted to ensure that they would have their choice of a Cs (for various reasons, previous birth trauma being high on the list) and also advised those that have been told that a Cs is recommended yet who have not wanted the "non-perfect" birth that it is all just a process that gets you to your baby. We all need to feel comfortable in our choices...