ELCS in this situation?

[StrawberryRiceCake]

I am due to give birth in February and have been sure all along that I want a section this time. Unfortunately I'm now having a slight wobble and need to be absolutely sure I'm doing the right thing. I've been reading lots of threads and mostly it seems to be that ELCS is a positive experience but I know this isn't always the case and it freaks me out a bit.

The reason I want one is because DD's birth was very traumatic and the thought of going through that kind of birth again and the damage it has left behind is all too much. I went to the classes, did the breathing exercises, did all the preparation I could but nothing helped. My birth plan said natural water birth with no pain relief (ha!) but what happened was about as far from that as you can get. My waters broke at 1am and within 2 hours my contractions started and were intense and 3-5 minutes apart immediately. I could not cope with the pain and stayed at hospital. I tried water, it did nothing for me so I moved to gas & air. This worked to a point but made me hallucinate. I completely lost control and spent the next 9 hours screaming and screaming until I got an epidural. This worked perfectly as pain relief but I then needed the drip as my contractions became erratic. They kept turning the drip up and up and then DD got distressed and I was exhausted so we got taken to theatre and she was dragged out with forceps late in the evening. My body never got the hang of contracting properly. DD was born blue but fortunately was fine.

The aftermath was horrible. I couldn't sit for 3 weeks and was in lots of pain. My ongoing problems are minor in comparison to some (pain, slight incontinence, piles) but the thought of another forceps birth and the damage it might cause are so upsetting. I had PND too. I just can't go through that again.

If I could be guaranteed a straightforward birth I would go for it but my body never got the hang of contractions and the thought of my next DC being distressed is too much.

So mumsnetters, what would you do in my situation? I know everyone is different but I just want to hear some opinions and experiences. I can have a section if I want one and I'm seeing someone about this to go through the risks and benefits in a couple of weeks but I just need to be 100% sure. I know there is a recovery period but I had one of those anyway.

I had a traumatic first birth. Had PND and PTSD. Had counselling and a debrief with supervisor of midwife 4 years later before I got pregnant again. That was really beneficial and empowered me that next time things could and would be different and I planned another home birth (first was planned but didn't get it).
However, DD had other ideas and turned breech so after much soul searching I opted for an ELCS. I had a gentle section birth plan (have a Google!) and it was lovely. So much better than first birth, really healing and recovery was so much easier (had large episiotomy with first).
I am pregnant again and due same time as you and can decide if I want a vbac or another section. As there is such a close gap between babies, I am going to try for a vbac, as if it goes straightforward then I won't have issues with looking after my 1 year old! Going in with an open mind though and not looking for the perfect birth like I was with the other 2!

Sorry to waffle on! If I was you, I would have a debrief if you haven't already had one with a supervisor of midwives and see if this changes anything. If not, I would go with the section x

I could've written your post OP.

I'm also due in Feb and I had my ELCS sighed off today. For different reasons though, I've had 3 miscarriages prior to this pregnancy and I'm so frightened of something going wrong, whether with the baby or with me for the exact same reasons you have just stated.

It's gone down as maternal request due to anxiety but it's booked.

I do also have to see the supervisor of midwives to talk through my fears, but that is standard.

Talk to the supervisor of midwives and go from there. You have a valid reason to be considered

Thanks lumpy and brummie. I have an appointment with a "consultant midwife" which I guess is the same as the supervisor. I have heard from other people that she is very pro natural birth and will be difficult to convince but I'm very willing to stand my ground. My hospital does have a birth debrief service but I have not been able to get an appointment with them and now it is too late as their waiting list is so long. I'm hoping the consultant midwife can do the same sort of job but who knows.

I have seen a doctor who dismissed me initially but then spoke to a consultant and conceded that they couldn't force me to have a VB. The appointment was a big dissappontment as I was hoping I could talk through some of my fears there, but I couldn't.

I'm glad to hear that your CS was a positive experience brummie. Also that you have yours signed off lumpy. Good luck for Feb.

My birth experience sounds very similar to yours. Waters went first and contractions were intended and painful from the start. Was stuck on antenatal ward with loads of other people in the early stages of induction. I couldn't wee but the midwives kept telling me I was prob dehydrated and didn't want to examine me due to infection risk. 12 hours later when I was screaming my head off, baths were not helping and I still didn't have gas and air. They finally emptied my bladder and I filled two bed pans worth. I think I went into shock then. Screamed blue murder for epidural finally got on delivery suite, got it and then ended up with forceps delivery and third degree tear which I didn't heal well at all from. I still feel traumatised by my experience on the antenatal ward.
As far as I am concerned the recovery from tear was worse than friends that had elective sections. I don't want to risk further damage. I just about got away with it not affecting my sex Life in the end and not risking ruining that.

Sorry meant to add I am booked for a section. There was no problem getting one. I have been told if I go into labour early again I can have an emergency section. Just hope I don't get any midwives that try to bully me to go for natural delivery. Will stand my ground.
If you have continence problems i would def push for a section. One thing midwives neglect to consider is how many continence problems you get post menopause are serious pelvic floor damage.