Probably silly question about early labour

[CaptainKit]

This is probably a stupid question, but as someone who's never given birth before, and who has access to a parenting site full of people who don't know who I am and so cannot laugh at me directly to my face for asking such a silly question, I'm hoping you can give me some advice...

I'm probably going to be on my own when I give birth. I have no partner, and don't particularly want my locally-based family there; I'd much rather be able to worry about myself and the baby, not about well-meaning, but overly flappy relatives. I have asked my best friend to be there if she can, but living an hour's drive away and having young children herself, I know there's no guarantee she'd be there on time, so want to be prepared for being on my own.

Questions;

1 - Is it possible to drive (safely) in early labour?

2 - If so, would there be any point in driving myself to hospital (20ish minutes away) at the beginning of things if there's a strong likelihood they'd just send me home until labour progresses.

3 - If not, is taxi the only other option if said friend is not able to get to me in time? I'm assuming that unless it's a particularly fast labour and the baby's actually crowning, that it's not ambulance-worthy.

4 - Following on from that - should I be calling round local taxi firms now to ask if they're prepared to take a labouring woman to hospital? Or do I just call one on the night and hope they're not going to turn me away. I've read about people taking a towel to sit on so as to protect the cab's upholstery.

I'll be asking some of these questions to the midwife when I next see her, and to the hospital when I book a tour of the maternity unit, but was hoping to go in pre-armed with some vague ideas.

Our NCT class recommended ringing round local taxi firms in advance - if you ask your midwife she may know of a taxi firm that usually covers that hospital, or as you say you can ask the hospital too. Good luck!

Depends on the labour. I couldn't have driven, but both my labours were quite hard and fast. Other people take ages to get going, and may well be able to drive in between or during early contractions. You don't know how yours will go, so I'd say you need to be prepared for the quickest type, just in case.
Taxis would probably take you - how far would you need to go? Or do you have a neighbour or closer friend who could take you and leave you - your birth partner friend would then have time to sort kids etc and drive to you in a less urgent manner.

Absolutely do not drive. You could easily be taken by surprise by an unexpectedly strong contraction and crash.

And, like you said, if it's very early labour they'll send you home. Most units advise you to stay home until you really can't tolerate the contractions and want to be in hospital.

Having said all that, maybe they would make allowances for you as a lone woman who might struggle to find a taxi when in active labour.

I drove in early labour with dc2. I was also on my own. Admittedly it was a 52hour labour from first contraction and the first 36 hours were just like very bad period-type cramps. however I was sent home and when finally admitted my mum drove me up (but couldn't stay was was looking after dc1) so it is probably best to arrange another form of transport or just not leave the premises.
Taxis don't like to take women in labour. You can call an ambulance though. They can and do provide transport to hospital if you need it.
Best thing I can suggest is ask your midwife for advice. They will have seen this situation before and will be able to advise you better

I googled this and spotted a link to a page on the NCT website listing labour friendly taxi firms in Islington. Arguably there must be more nationwide, so I would ring around your local firms now to see what they say.

I think that if you're well enough to drive you'll probably be sent home. Also, as pp said it really wouldn't be safe. We don't drive so a taxi was our only real option. We didn't ring round but we had been using the local firm very regularly on the run up to the birth so they knew the address. The taxi driver was great-he drove just quickly enough and very carefully. I had 3 or 4 contractions in the 15 minute drive and they were unpleasant but no more so than in any other car.
I was worried about it when I was pregnant but it was fine. We did however have a stand by friend which would have been a total pita but doable. It would take a special sort of arsehole to refuse to take a labouring women on her own to hospital.

I think your dilemma is that if you are ok enough to drive, the labour ward will certainly send you home. And you really don't want to be labouring just in the waiting room or corridor - my first labour was 10 hours (quite normal). But by the time they'd have you there, you are very unlikely to be in a fit state to drive. I was barly in a fit state to get in the car, let alone drive it, and spent the journey on all fours on the back seat!

Almost all hospitals I've heard of send you away until your contractions are regular, lasting about a minute, coming every three minutes.

Is there any other friend or even acquaintance who lives nearer than your friend an hour away, who could drive you?

Or taxi is definitely the other option. I didn't leak water in the car with my first, but was gently dripping with my second. I'd say a towel is essential because you don't know either way.

Another option is to plan a home birth. They are safer than you might expect (for low risk pregnancies). There is loads of info in www.homebirth.org.uk, including evidence about safety. And you get a dedicated midwife, in your own home, for a good part of your labour, and two at the end. I would seriously consider it in your situation.

PS - none of your questions are stupid or silly!

Thanks all. I think you've confirmed my suspicions that driving myself is unlikely to be doable, and even if I feel able to do it at the beginning of the journey that's no guarantee I'd be fully safe to get all the way there. Will plan for taxi-calling - I've got plenty of midwife visits before the end, if it all goes to plan, so will make a note to ask her next time I see her, and then again at the hospital; I can book a tour there after 30 weeks, so they might have a list of friendly taxis. I'll also ask about turning up early - just in case I panic and get the taxi there before I'm dilated enough; just in case they do have some place I could wait out a couple of hours until I'd progressed enough. Obviously home would be a better place to be in that scenario, but the idea of getting a taxi there, then back home, then back out again sounds exhausting, so will see what the options are.

If it comes to it my parents live close enough for either of them to take me, but I don't want either of them at the birth for numerous complicated reasons, and would feel awkward asking them to drive and then leave me there (plus I don't trust myself to be strong enough to ask my mother to go away when I'm focused on labour, nor do I trust that she would actually leave if asked, and don't want to go through it all wondering if she's gone, or is sitting outside the room waiting to be allowed back in after it's all finished.)

As others said it really depends on your labour. My first contraction had me on all fours and I got them every 2-3 minutes straight away. I wouldn't have been able to drive and just about managed to crawl into the footwell of my Dads car as he drove us there. My labour was fairly fast.

Definitely ask midwife about local taxi firms she'd recommend.

I understand about your parents, but are there not any local friends who you could ask? They are much less likely to insist on staying!

What's your thoughts on a home birth? Strips out this problem entirely. Being close to a hospital, you could easily transfer there during labour if the midwife advised - and most transfers during a home birth happen well before there is a serious problem because the midwives don't wait till then.

No local friends. I'm quite the introvert when it comes to making/keeping friends and am more than content with just the one best friend. The other friends I do have, and would consider calling upon, all live much further away. I don't think anyone's closer than a 45 minute drive. I sort of figured I'd meet new local people after the baby was born; terrible planning!

I've thought about a home birth, but just think it would be easier for me to be at a hospital. I have dogs, who would be all worked up about people being in the house, and I'd have to worry about shutting them somewhere, and making sure they were fed/let out/etc. Also, and probably irrationally, I don't think I'd be ok with having multiple people in my house; it's sort of my safe place, and I don't love people being in there. I'm not full hermit, and I know that people will need to come round once baby's here; health visitors, regular visitors and the like, but ideally not at a time where I'm in pain and feeling vulnerable.

Good reasons not to have a home birth! If you will feel more comfortable in hospital, then that's definitely the place to be.

Good luck with your plans, and the birth!

Don't drive in labour, your insurance won't cover it.