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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

If I have to have a c-section alone...

15 replies

Wishful80smontage · 28/10/2015 08:45

Will it be ok?!
Various reasons I won't bore you with- it may be the case that I have to a c-section in the next few weeks.
This will be dc2 I had a straightforward vaginal birth with dd that my dh was with me for- he was faint a couple of times.
I've spoken to him as he's Squeamish and I don't think he'd be any good if I did need one- he's said he would come but he looks worried sick at the prospect.
I don't have anyone else that I could ask- my mum and sis would be as bad as dh, best friend away and other friends I don't feel I could put on them- they are busy enough.
Would I be ok on my own? Nb I am a complete wimp.

OP posts:
BeStrongAndCourageous · 28/10/2015 09:06

He doesn't have to see anything, it all happens behind a screen. And of course you will be fine - the medical team will make sure you're completely numb so you won't feel any pain (you WILL feel them rummaging around but it doesn't hurt), someone, probably a midwife, will stay up at the head end to hold your hand and reassure you, and getting baby out takes a lot less time then putting you back together again, so for most of it you'll have a gorgeous new baby to distract you, assuming they're well enough to be given to you straight away for a cuddle.

Personally I think he needs to man up and be there to hold your hand, but strictly speaking no, you don't need him. So long as he realises how much help and support you will need afterwards and doesn't try and opt of that too! Post c-section recovery hurts, takes time and will incapacitate you for days, possibly weeks. He needs to be prepared to do everything else for at least the first few days, and to give you the time you need to rest, recover and bond with the new baby.

Haggisfish · 28/10/2015 09:09

Yes you will be fine. Ask your midwife if she can arrange for you to meet the snaesthetist before hand-I did this and it was great-I knew someone in there and she chatted to me and held my hand all the way through.

Haggisfish · 28/10/2015 09:10

Also, to reassure dh, when he is brought in, they've put the needle in your back and you really don't see anything behind the screen.

Mulligrubs · 28/10/2015 09:14

I had my second section 6 days ago and it was lovely (planned this time!) so I think I would have been fine alone.

However, you don't see anything - you and your birth partner are behind the sheet and omce the baby is born and wrapped up you can have a quick snuggle and your birth partner can go sit in the recovery room with baby and wait for you. From first incision to baby being born it was only about 10 minutes, it's the stitching that takes longer about 30-40 minutes.

So if you want to reassure your partner about it (and get them to be brave!) just let them know - they won't see anything at all. My DH is as squeamish as they come and he was fine.

If you are alone the anaesthetist stands at your head the whole time checking your vitals and (if you want to know what is happening behind the curtain) they will explain what's going on. In both my sections the anaesthetists were absolutely lovely. Once baby is born and checked over the midwife abd assistant can sit at your head and help you hold baby if you feel OK but if you're shaky they can sit next to you so you can see baby.

BeStrongAndCourageous · 28/10/2015 09:18

Just to add, my section wasn't planned, but I remember there being a really positive, supportive, jovial atmosphere in the room anyway. I felt very cared for and looked after by the medical team.

Mulligrubs · 28/10/2015 09:22

BeStrong I remember the same from my EMCS - the team were brilliant. One or 2 theatre staff in particular made it such a positive experience, so you will be in good hands alone OP

SellFridges · 28/10/2015 09:22

I echo what others have said - you can't see anything and all the staff are pretty friendly and chatty. DH had to leave the room while they stitched me up as DS was cold and it's freezing in theatre so he was out of the room after about 30m anyway.

Original poster
Wishful80smontage · 28/10/2015 09:28

Thank you all you're making it sound ok :)
He knows he couldn't see anything but is it quite noisy? When its happening?
He really is sure he wants to come in but I know he would make it worse for me if he's sitting there looking green and ready to keep over which is obviously something he wouldn't be able to control himself- which is why Im thinking on my own would be better.
Afterwards he'll be great I'm sure he's very hands on and has basically took over looking after laundry and house since I've been expecting dc2 anyway :)

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 28/10/2015 09:55

No it's not that noisy. Baby is out after about ten minutes-the other thirty minutes are stitching you back up while you both get to gaze adoringly at baby!

BeStrongAndCourageous · 28/10/2015 09:59

They put the radio on whilst mine was going on. DD came into the world to the sound of Barry White's "My first, my last, my everything."

She was my first, actually, although turned out not to be my last. Grin

Diggum · 28/10/2015 10:05

Not noisy but they do have a suction machine for amniotic fluid and blood (sorry) and that does obviously make a bit of a sound. It's subtle enough but I think you'd guess what it is.

Nothing else makes much noise though- the hum of lights and anaesthetic monitoring machines, some soft beeping, a few instruments clattering, the general buzz of happy chatter from midwives and operating team. It's all quite pleasant Smile.

I think he'll be fine if he just about managed a normal delivery- you see less at a section.

Original poster
Wishful80smontage · 28/10/2015 14:15

I'll have a chat with dh tonight but I do feel like I would be able to do it alone if that's better- I'll be able to gauge his reaction.

OP posts:
DesireeTheDoula · 29/10/2015 13:30

Have you thought about having a doula to support you?

newbian · 30/10/2015 00:04

My extremely squeamish hospital phobic DH was amazing during my ELCS - first DC - yesterday. He talked to me the whole time and there was music playing to mask any noises. In fact he even peeked over the curtain to my total shock! This is a man who two weeks ago had to look away when I had blood drawn.

If you really don't think he can manage, I'd recommend finding another birth partner at the very least.

AnnaMarlowe · 30/10/2015 00:07

He'll be fine - just make the staff aware he's a bit squeamish and check the partition is high enough (my tall DH could see over)

Otoh I could have done it alone the staff were lovely. He'd miss first sight of your new baby though and that would be a shame.

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