Anyone had a doula? Home birth advice please

[Flen]

Hi all, I'm due with my first on 2nd March. I'm aiming for a home birth and am starting to think about ante-natal classes etc etc (due 2nd March).

I really like the look of hypnobirthing, but also wanted to do NCT AND have been wondering about a doula, but all of that would be so expensive so I am wondering what to prioritise. What are people's experiences?

I had a doula and it really helped make my birthing experience positive. She was there as my supporter, to make sure I had a drink when I needed, to help me to breathe correctly when contractions hit, etc. A good doula is like having a "spare mum" with you through the birthing process.

Some Trusts get a bit uppity about home births, so it might make you feel more supported to have someone on your side, to remind you of your rights as a mum-to-be.

A good doula will also sit you down before the birth and discuss your expectations, and will have discussed your wishes for all eventualities. In my case we had discussed what to do if my birth went from straight forward to one requiring medical intervention, so we both knew exactly what would happen.

The best thing to do is phone a few and see if one clicks with you.

Thank you worldgonecrazy, that's really helpful. What are your thoughts about the worthwhileness of classes as well as doula?

The classes held at my local birth centre were led by someone from the NCT, so I didn't bother with the NCT class. However, it is really useful to get some insight into the birthing process from people who've been there, including those who've had medical intervention. Our teacher was keen to make the point that in an emergency c-section there may be up to 15 people in the theatre with you, and that it is normal to have so many people there. Whilst I didn't end up with a c-section, the insight into what happens in theatre proved calming. Some mums get a bit panicked by the sheer number of people around them. She also said that pain relief has a time and a place, even stuff like pethidine, so the classes were personally very useful for me.

I'm a great believer in arming yourself with as much information as possible, so that you feel able to make informed decisions on as many eventualities as possible.

Thank you, that all really helps. Lots to mull over...

Hi Fen
Congratulations on your pregnancy. So lovely you are thinking of a home birth and a doula. I have supported many women that have done Hypnobirthing and it has huge benefits. With doulas it's best to meet a few - and you will get a gut feel who you click with and who you don't. Best place to start is looking at www.doula.org.uk there is a search option where you pop in your postcode and it shall show you local doulas and their information - most doulas will meet with you as often or as little as you like, they will do antenatal sessions with you discuss birthing options and also chatting to your partner as a doula is not there to take their place.
Hope that information helps? You will not be disappointed :) best wishes
Desiree x

We had a home birth with ds, and will be home birthing again very soon. We have hired a doula this time round as well, partly to support me in labour, but to support dh and ds.

I loved hypnobirthing, and intend on doing it this time round too. I used marie mongans hypnobirthing.

I found surrounding myself with positivity and excluding negative people was my best way forward.

desiree and topsy that is really helpful, thank you so much. I am definitely edging towards doing NCT, hypnobirthing AND having a doula! (It's possible I'm getting over-excited...!)

I love my doula, i am fortunate that i have known her for nearly 7 years as i met her at antenatal classes when both me and her daughter were expecting at the same time, she trained as doula 4 years ago so when we decided on hiring one we knew it had to be her!!

Hypno is lush, i havent practised nearly enough this time round so hoping it all kicks back in....

Hi Flen, if you only have one, I would recommend a doula. I got a mentored (student doula) off the doula uk website. She was around half the price of a fully qualified doula and absolutely amazing. Definitely meet more than one-the first one I met (who incidentally was fully qualified) was not for me.

My doula provided amazing aromatherapy massages in early labour, gave me the confidence and knowledge (as in links to research papers) to challenge the birthplan the hospital consultant had written in my notes. Ultimately she saved me from a ventouse delivery and epistemology ( I delivered naturally 10 minutes later).

The NCT, you can easily find the info elsewhere for free, e.g. hospital tour, free first time mum antenatal classes via your Midwife, though it may be worth going along to meet other new mums. That said our NCT branch do meet ups and you don't have to be a member to attend.

topsy and lexi this is so helpful, thank you very much.

topsy my best friend is a doula! Sadly she has a baby herself so I won't be able to take advantage of her amazingness...

lexi that does sound wonderful, as well as very useful. It's so tricky with the NCT stuff, everyone I know seems to say "you must do it". I'm definitely up for meeting other new mums, but as you say, the content I am less sure about....

Hi,
After a straight forward 1st birth I was very keen to have a home birth with my 2nd. I looked into hypno birthing but found It quite expensive but then I discovered daisy birthing classes (it is a national organisation) & these were exactly what I was looking for In terms of preparing my body for labour & breathing & yoga type movements to help me to achieve my home birth. I actually ended up doing 2 back to back 6 courses & I found them very helpful.

I spoke to friends who'd had doulas for their home births & both recommended getting 1 but in the end we decided we wanted it just to be us & I was lucky to have 2 lovely midwives & a quick straight forward birth so didn't need anyone to fight my corner.

Hope you get your home birth x

Forgot to mention that I didn't do any nct classes either (they seemed quite expensive too) instead I did the free nhs ante natal classes (covered most of the basics) & post natal classes & have lots of close Friends who live locally whose children are the same age as mine.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and wishes for a home birth. I am a doula and have trained to help ladies hypno- birth. I support more home births than hospital as in my area the majority of women are choosing HB over hospital. You may find an independent doula on local facebook pages or recommendations from midwives or other mums. Look on nurturing birth doula directory as well as Doula uk. Best wishes

PS your Doula will include 2 x 3 hour antenatals to you and your partner privately so you may not feel it is necessary to attend NCT ones to although it is a great way to make friends with other mums!