How long does it take to "recover" after giving birth?

[MeadowHay]

I know this is probably a silly question because everybody is different but I would be interested in hearing your responses. How long was it after giving birth before you began to feel not as exhausted/in pain etc? Or are the first few months just like a huge blur of exhaustion because of having the newborn to look after? How long was it after giving birth that you could, I don't know, socialise, or resume a hobby that you have or go back to work for those of you who returned to paid employment?

Thanks. :)

I was out and about (at baby groups, baby cinema, etc) properly from about 3 weeks. I mean, I was fucking exhausted, but still able to get me and DD out of the house and function in the outside world!

There's a big difference between that, though, and socialising (if you mean with adults, in the evening, as opposed to other exhausted mums/dads at baby groups), going back to work, etc. However, in the States it's 'normal' to go back to work at 6 weeks, and I know plenty who've done so with no problems. If you have to do it, you have to do it and just get on with it. But I wouldn't necessarily choose to.

And, as you say, it's going to vary so much from person to person depending on the kind of birth, how well the baby is sleeping/ feeding, etc etc. My advice is have low expectations and then you'll probably be pleasantly surprised.

I guess it's one of those things that depends on how your birth was, whether you get one of those easy sleeping and feeding babies and how much support you have a home.

My birth was a crash emergency section prematurely. But physical recovery was fairly fast. I felt OK for doing most things (apart from heavy lifting or anything that wasn't advised) in about 2 weeks.
As for tiredness, well DS is 1 and I'm still tired!
Socialising and hobbies have taken a bit of a back seat but I could do them,it's just a pain with childcare etc.

DS1 emc, up and about in 5 days. Healed well and felt great.
DS2 forceps delivery. Never got out of bed for 4 days and took about 2 weeks for me to walk straight ( sorry to tell the truth).

Felt normal after about 3 month mark.

uneventful birth so fine immediately, was in no pain whatsoever and newborns (well, most) sleep all the time. Back in gym lifting weights after a month.

I would say, for me anyway, it took two weeks before I was out of physical discomfort (even though I was able to go to the local shops the day after giving birth) . Probably 3 months to feel mentally back to myself. I returned to work after 8 months.

I am still tired and don't really socialise and my youngest is seven years old!

When I had my dc, we only had 3months maternity leave, so we were back at work then!
However, that does not equate to being back to how i was before having dc, in any shape or form.
How exhausting it is is going to be closely linked to what your baby is like. Some are awake a lot more than others, some sleep, some have reflux or are sickly generally, some get colic, some are just 'chilled' others more anxious. So it goes on and on.

Pretty straight forward birth, felt a bit bruised for a week, stitches didn't cause me any bother, didn't really socialise until DD was around four weeks old and that was just a quick meal out with her. Did manage to make a three tier wedding cake for a friend at six weeks, had a lot of support though.

I think the thing is that, as you say, the birth blurs with the newborn.

Assuming no birth injuries, probably a month or two and you are basically whole. But if you are up 5 times a night the thought of going to play squash at 8pm may be unappealing

It is a bit of a daft question tbh because births will be hugely different to each other, there's no standard experience. ????I'll take it then that you're asking for people to tell you their own experience so that you get a range of views on it.????I had a fairly dreadful labour/birth, that involved an induction over 5 days, an emcs, a baby in SCBU with strep B, me with strep b infection, a c section scar that wouldn't heal for weeks and a crappy start to breastfeeding as a result. So, I didn't feel like myself for a long time. 9 months ish perhaps. I returned to work, part time, at about 11 months after DS was born. I felt physically fine at that point and DS was sleeping through so no longer exhausted.

I felt normal after 6months.

Forceps birth here.

Comfortable after 8 weeks, although I was out and about after 2 weeks, (in hospital 1 week), otherwise I'd have gone round the bend! That was just to cafes and friends' houses.

Blur of exhaustion was 4 months as DS had cholic. It was truly an evil time.

My hobby is sewing, so could continue that from day one! I was able to be a sahm for 19 months.

Alas, DS is nearly 4yo and I still haven't 'recovered'. Google (or don't, depending if you are pg for the first time and/or squeamish) 'shoulder distocia'.

Went shopping on day 3, felt fine, no issues. DH acted like proud dad with dd laid along his arm. Was all good.

However dd was a 'good' baby, slept through the night by 5 weeks (her db was not so considerate!!)

Felt like a total wreck for the first few days - had a very fast labour so think I was in a bit of shock really, and was back to back labour with no time for any proper pain relief so was a bit traumatised. Took 2 weeks for stitches to heal and 4 weeks before bleeding stopped. I had huge trouble breast feeding, it was enormously painful and that was a big emotional turmoil to me as my DS was sick with the first formula we tried (Cow & Gate - apparently not uncommon), so that probably delayed my recovery a bit. I gave up breast feeding after 3 weeks and we tried a different formula that didn't make him sick, so I began to feel a bit more myself and less hormonal after that.

Around 12 weeks DS began sleeping a good chunk through the night. Getting regular sleep helps enormously!

I think hobbies/socialising depends on your support network/routine/household set up etc. I didn't resume my craft hobbies for a while, DH was working night shifts at the time so I was pretty much doing newborn care and housework by myself most of the time and didn't have energy for anything else. Now DH has normal working hours we can share the housework load better, and a long afternoon toddler nap allows me regular time in my craft room!

I wouldn't say the first few months are a blur... you do feel really tired at times, but if it's your first you can just focus on your baby, do things at your own pace and get as much sleep as possible.

Straightforward birth, tiny tear, no stitches. Out walking into the village the next day. Bleeding not heavy at all and stopped after 10 days. Walking a couple of miles a day by then.
It was the tiredness caused by an all consuming tiny baby that knocked me for 6 more than anything. Took a couple of months to adjust and DS is an easy baby - now 9 1/2 months.

1st - EMCS - sewn up tight/multi-layer, I walked slowly round the block after 2 weeks, was OK after 2 months, was back to before after 4

2nd - EMCS - sewn up loose/not enough layers, up and about 24hrs later, driving (emergency stop capable) in 2 weeks, felt fine in less than a month, body not back to as it was 2 years later.....

My sisters follow the whole range from infections and months, to fine the next day and back to normal in weeks

First birth - was back at work after my year's mat leave but didn't recover for 2 and a half years. By recover I mean finish getting treatment, surgery and function normally and without pain. Second birth I had nothing to recover from other than stitches which didn't bother me. I was out and about immediately. This is really a case of how long is a piece of string.

My aunt is a very well known midwife.
I remember she told me that it took 18 months to fully recover from a birth. I thought she was mad as I was up and about straight away.
But I remember after the 18 month mark that I thought "wow,she was so right".
My body took that time to heal,I had massive babies,which resulted in prolapse. By 18m this was nearly back to normal. As was my nails,hair and skin.
So I think initially we can appear to go 'back to normal' very quickly, but actually it takes much,much longer.
On a non-physical level it took me years to get back to 'normal'.

Everything went much better for me than I expected!
I was swimming 5 days later. I remember doing 30 lengths and beating myself up!!! I shouldn't have been so hard on myself. I went to the gym (doing very light cardio 7 days later)

It took 6 weeks to get back in my jeans (just!!!) and probably two months with will power and effort to get back to less than my pre baby weight. It was 5 weeks before I attempted very gentle sex which was miles better than I thought it was going to be.

I didn't want baby groups so I avoided those.

I went back to work at 18 weeks. I would rather not have done that but once I bit the bullet it was fine although I was really anxious the night before to be honest.

We soon got in to a habit of a new life and went snowboarding when DS was 5 months old. It took me about 3 months to get back into mountain biking but that was only because I was wrapped up with the baby.
I went to yoga at 7 days but that was only for 1.5 hours and felt miles better for it.

There was times when I felt very low and other times I felt amazing, as if I was the only person in the world to have a baby and survive!!

First baby was section - was out at the shops the first week , went for lunch with DP and kids, felt normal except for being very tired from being up through the night feeding.

Second baby was VBAC , home same day, within hours of birth , no tears , felt tender down below when going to the toilet the first week and after that just the normal bleeding.

I felt like "me" straight away , I've never experienced any negativity after birth , I would get up and have my shower , do hair and make up and put on the outfit I had laid out the night before. I never sat about in my pyjamas ,I would always be dressed and ready , I think this helped me feel " me".

My partner took the standard 2 weeks off after birth and my parents work full time so only had help in evenings or Sunday's .

Obviously the tiredness is the biggest factor , I have been permanently exhausted for years now and with regards to socialising,I have the odd night out with friends or partner. The lack of sleep and early risings make socialising not so appealing as it used to be.

I prefer a night in with a bottle of wine now

First birth about 2 months. Second birth about 4 hours.

Can I just clarify that I felt like "me" psychologically all the way through. Despite having lots of physical problems as a result of the crappy birth experience, I felt emotionally fine. Tiredness is an obvious and fairly unavoidable thing that affects you, but no more than tiredness I've experienced from other things in the past. When I said it took me around 9 months to recover, I meant to feel physically ok.

Hmm different for both of mine.
First took till ds1 was about aged 4 as he did not sleep....EVER and I worked night shifts, had zero child care so was a walking wreck.

Ds2 I wash pushing the pram through the snow, too fat to do my coat up at week 2 after a section as I had to take ds 1 to school. Much quicker recovery.
He is 2 now, doesn't sleep through the night so I still don't feel myself due to the exhaustion with no let up ever.

You just get on with it though don't you.

About 3 weeks before I stopped feeling a bit shocked. At 6 weeks I was well into the swing of things tho walking still a bit awkward (forceps). Back to work at 6 months but body felt like it went back to normal at 18 months when I stopped bf and dropped the final weight.

I think there are three main factors that influence recovery/getting to a new normal
1-birth
2-baby (health and development)
3-age

1- birth
I'm an extreme example of slow recovery. I was seriously injured during birth and I went through a rehabilitation process (forceps, forceps, forceps... Please check the risks associated with instruments/operative delivery). Too long a story but I'll give a few milestones.
3 months Can walk further than 1/2 a mile
7 months Excruciating coccyx pain finally starts to receed which means I can sit a bit better
15 months Can drive again! (with a cushion)
18 months Surgery to remove scar tissue

Back to your question, I think I felt more normal when I could drive again. The feeling of being trapped in my own body (and pain) slowly lifted.

Generally I think weight loss plays a big part too. Still half a stone too heavy but getting there Most women I know got back to their prebirth weight between 6 and 12 months. Only personally know of one freak example of a mum back in her jeans at 8 weeks!

2-baby
My baby was physically healthy and slept well. I imagine things are much more difficult if your baby has special needs after birth. I personally know of two mums whose babies had severe reflux and I can say they were sleep deprived for 1 whole year. I know of another mum whose baby had jaundice for months. For 4/5 months, she was constantly going to see doctors.
After the initial 3 months, luckily my baby slept through. I still felt exhausted but not permanently jet lagged anymore.

A newborn schedule is gruelling and I found weaning a little stressful so the best times in my baby's development were between 3 and 6 months and between 8 and 10/11 months. After that I have found it really hard. Spending the day with a whining child hanging off my leg the whole day is not fun. We increased from 2 to 3 days at nursery at 12 months (we started 2 days at nursery at 6 months because of my injuries/amount of medical appointments I had). Things have improved since my child turned 18 months. I feel I can breath again.

3 age
Let's not kid anyone. You have tons more energy in your mid twenties than you do in your late thirties! Your age will definitely influence your physical recovery and how tired you feel later on.

20 months on I don't have time for hobbies. I hire a babysitter to go to the cinema or go for a meal with hubby. I find that all the house stuff takes up any free time (laundry, cooking, dealing with general house maintenance, planning short trips and holidays, keep in touch with friends). When I get a minute I usually have a nap!

I don't think your question is silly. All the best!