Booked in for section on Friday....feeling sad...can I run this past you lot please?

[Elibean]

Following on from my 37+ and might be given a choice thread..
I'm now 37+4, and am booked in for a section on Friday, second pregnancy (first one ended in section after failed induction at 39+ weeks - my bp was rising, and baby disengaged and turned oblique at first hint of contractions).
I was originally booked for section due to baby being transverse lie - but in the last few days, she's been on the move. Head down, back to tranny, and last night (I think) head down again...and its thrown me!
OB said today a) unstable lie (spun sideways at touch of a finger) b) previous section c) mid forties d) bp needs medicating soon - better done with baby out, otherwise have to be admitted for monitoring whilst bp managed (which would be more disruptive for my 2.11 yr old dd) and e) I'm knackered from weeks of poor sleeping due to bad pregnancy itch.
So she said 'if I were you, I'd go ahead on Friday'. She's not knife-happy, she's pro natural birth when possible, she's nice and I trust her. But, she was in a rush this morning - and doesn't like 'surprises' as she puts it.
Medically, I can see it makes more sense overall to go ahead with section. Its a known risk, and a low one. Waiting, with all the factors involved, is complicated and very much the unknown: more risky.
Its just that emotionally, its harder to process my inevitable sense of loss of never getting to experience labour (and possibly vag. delivery) without that one, clear-cut, absolute reason for a section....its more of a judgement call as to when the scales tip in favour of safety for me and Bump v. what I'd like.
Any thoughts welcome....am confused..

Daisymoo, thanks - will check it out

And UCM, what a lovely way to put it! I do know what you mean, having had dd by section in the end...it mattered for a short time, then mattered not at all, and now I never think of it.

In case I wasn't clear, its really not that I need to have a vaginal delivery - its just that I really want to go into whatever delivery I have with peace of mind, knowing I've made a choice based on whats best for me and my baby, not on anything or anyone else. Its the processing that got missed out this morning, really - thank goodness for MN, eh?

Elibean

As another pro-vbacer (who doesn't know your medical history) all I would say is that my last baby (a vba2c) was turning around all the time, the morning of the day she was born she was transverse. I spent the day running and I mean running up and down stairs!! She came out head first after a very quick labour, but had spent the last two weeks to a month changing position daily.

Whatever you do I hope that all goes well, but definately contact Debbie and Gina and go onto the yahoo chat site.

Good Luck

Lu

I will, Lu.

Sadly, I can barely walk up the stairs now - too puffed, too knackered. I think if I were physically capable of running at all, I'd be a bit more confident about handling all the other issues

Have you made any plans if you do have an elective, birth plan, etc. That caeserean.org website that I posted earlier has ideas for planning a caeserean birth (music, dim lights, seeing the baby first ....)

Tried to type more but keep coming up with the wrong words. {{{hugs}}} really feel for you.

that is a really good point toady......and eli, your docs sound really receptive..can probably have some lovely music too...

i hope whatever you decide..you are happy with the decision and no-one is going to try and push you into something you are not happy with...happy & healthy baby & mum is the aim....

keep us posted...xxxx

You are both lovely. Really. Making me sniff in the best possible way.

I had music with dd, am sure I could again (but will choose better this time, last time we grabbed wildly at something and ended up with James Taylor being rebellious instead of relaxing classical cd I thought I'd grabbed ). And yes, doctor is very nice - she's already asked me about seeing baby first. Will ask about dimmed lights, like the idea of that.

Toady, I have emailed Gina - feel very cheeky asking total stranger for advice, but then thats what I do on MN the whole time really, isn't it?!
And I don't know what words you did'nt post, but appreciate the ones you did

Been talking to dh. He's heard me now - and says I should really phone the OB tomorrow: he thinks the main problem is that the whole apt. was rushed, so I don't fully understsand her reasoning. I've lost trust, and I need to ask more ???s...Mars, you (and several others) were right.

I'm going to have to overcome feeling like a nuisance to do so - and no doubt - but stuff it, this is important.

Honeysuckle... all will come good!

Did you know you can even ask to see the baby being taken out? You can't really see the cutting etc cos of the enormous bump that was your tummy.

I agree about the music and lighting etc. It's amazing what they'll let you do now. Oh and baby can be handed straight to you onto your chest.

Make the call and I hope you find the peace that you need.

Poor Elibean, I know just what it's like not feeling quite assertive enough. But once you've popped the question the doc will take it seriously and you will immediately feel that your questions are legitimate. To be honest, having been pro natural birth but had emergency c section for my only child so far, my attitude nowadays is to thank my stars for modern science and the safety of myself and my baby, and thank God that when she got distressed through being squashed in a bad position by strong contractions, the effect on her and her breastfeeding was only temporary. My own attitude is that quality of life post birth due to a risk-free delivery is more important than the naturalness of the delivery. Therefore I'm totally open minded about what might happen next time.

So perhaps I'm not the best person for you to hear from if your attitude is different.

BUT leaving that aside: taking your full part in the decision making, feeling fully informed, and coming to terms with whatever is being decided is just as important if not more so than your general attitude to natural birth etc. So talk to your OB! She will simply respect you for sorting it out in your own head and involving her. And may wish to talk about it again given that it was rushed last time.

xxx good luck and do look forward to meeting your little sweetie pie

I would second what pushkin said. I ended up having an emergency c section after a fairly long labour and was exhausted at the end of it and with a new baby I certainly didn't get to rebuild my strength.

At least a planned c section would save you potentially going through a lot of labour but ending up with a c section anyway.

Again though I may not be the best to advise, I was keen to get into hospital for my birth as I felt safer there and my mums a doctor so I am all for medical intervention when required.

Good luck for the big day whatever you decide.

Elibean

Write down a list of questions you want to ask.

I was quite nervous when I went to see my consultant and it ended up her doing all the talking and me forgetting what I was saying.

At the next visit I wrote down my questions and wrote down her answer, it was amazing how much clearer she explained things to me, it made her take me more seriously iykwim. I also felt I was in control.

Hurrah - dh and I have managed to get an appointment to actually go and SEE the OB this evening. I think it'll be easier face to face, plus she can check the position again.

Pushkin, you've summed it up really well - its the peace of mind I'm after, more than any one sort of delivery. I'm not anti-intervention, though I'm pro-natural-as-sensible-when-possible. Very middle of the road, really

So with dh on board, my list of ??s (just did it, Toady!) and you lot helping me do whats right for myself, I have high hopes for a happy birth with no regrets - of whatever sort.

Thank you, thank you. I'll update tonight. xxx

Oh, and this time we got a babysitter for dd - so no distractions!

Glad you got the appointment. Will check back later to see how it went (if my client has gone into labour herself)

Well done! Interested to hear how it goes.

It went well! In that the OB was lovely, really heard me (you were all so right, once again) and was glad I'd come in to talk to her. She even said, very honestly, that the reason I came away feeling unsure was probably that SHE was feeling unsure - that it was a judgement call, using her experience and instincts as much as anything else, and not clear cut.

Anyway...I have the trust back. I also know that baby is still head down, 'unstable lie' is just one of the OB's concerns, but my own gut feeling is that baby is doing all the right things and will become more settled in time. It doesn't really worry me at this stage.

But...big but... my blood pressure is another matter. Its veyr borderline now - I've seen it spike to 166/87 which is scary, though it doesn't stay at that level. OB says I will need medicating within the next week to ten days...and that either means going in next week for monitoring for 2-3 days, in the hope that baby will then come naturally before 41 weeks (after that its a section for sure) or getting baby out on Friday and medicating me more or less straight afterwards, without worrying about the effect on her.

We're also aware that high bp on a 46 year old cardiovascular system is rougher than on a 26 year old one

DH is clear - he's anxious, he wants me safe asap. But he's supportive too.

I'm nearly clear...it does feel a bit mad to take any risks when we're lucky enough to have got this far with a second pregnancy at my age...38 weeks isn't bad. But...not quite there yet, still toying with it! Am going to sleep on it.

Main thing is, OB is 100% behind me - if I want to chat more, I can call her tomorrow. If I cancel Friday, its not a problem. What a difference to last time, and last OB.....

Will update again tomorrow!

what a relief..your obs sounds amazing....a consult that LISTENS!!

take it day by day ......

glad you are feeling more reassured and positive ((hug))

xx

I know, cool eh?

She said I was a rare bird (meaning ancient mother, I think) but tbh, she's a fairly rare one herself

I took my bp first thing as usual, 155/77. A cup of tea and relaxed half hour later, 148/91. Yesterday it hit 166 at one point, though it didn't stay there.

So all in all, tempted as I am - oh I am - to try and experience the last bit of a pregnancy and maybe even go into labour naturally (no guarantees, was miles from labour at nearly 40 weeks with dd) I think enough is probably enough. I have dh, dd and bump to think of as well as me...so I'm going to re-pack my bag and plan to go in tomorrow.

At least if baby is head down, she'll be lifted out more gently than if she was breech or transverse. And now I can start getting excited...

Thanks so much Lulu, Toady, Mars, Gem, all of you. You've made a real difference these past couple of days, not sure I'd have had the bottle to go back to OB without you!

How exciting!!! Tomorrow then - so excited for you (and so impatient for my own!).

I think it sounds like a very sensible decision. I am at the opposite end of the BP spectrum (mine is always too low) - high sounds really hard. At least all I have to do is sit down!

The baby will be fine at 38 weeks and you will be too.

Have you done a search on the c-section archives - to make sure you are all set making it as comfortable and good as possible? I know you've been through it before but well prepared is well armed, etc. I made a birth plan for mine too which really helped me feel it was my birth. My main thing was for DH to tell me what we had (he couldn't get his words out in the end so someone shouted 'it's a girl!') but I felt I was considered more as someone having a baby rather than an operation.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

HAd to have emergency c-section with my DD after her being breach and in distress. Didn't even want to be in hospital really, but I now don't regret it at all. At the end of the day, she came out safely and is with me now, a beautiful, bouncing 4 month old.... So grateful to the staff for persuading me to have the c-section as had I not, she would not be with me now.
Have the section, I'm sure if you plan it, it could be a wonderful experience. PLEASE DON'T put yourself or your baby at any more risk....

You'll meet her tomorrow !!!! How exciting... Good luck.

Thanks Gem and FMT....sudden packing and repacking of bags going on here now! I have good memories of dd's birth, it was just before Xmas and it felt like a party - hope tomorrow is even half as lovely

((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))

baby elibean is a-coming! you sound settled with your decision..that is marvellous.....has made me cry a little bit !

i think bearing in mind all the variables esp BP....this is a good decision and not one you will be worrying about after the event

all is well!!

Yay!!!

Elibean,

Good luck tomorrow. Just think tomorrow at this time you will have your little bean.

More thanks to both of you
And Lulu, a hug back. I hope your final application goes really well, and that you get working asap - the world will be better off

thanks eli,.for even thinking about me right now!! i have been assessed and passed..am now good to go! DH has done me a lovely website and business cards..so off i go for some RL doula -ing!

looking forward to the birth announcement.....xxx ((hug))