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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Not allowed a natural birth??

62 replies

ambermoon1989 · 10/07/2015 08:47

hi everyone
this is my third baby in four years. I had pre eclampsia for first one, he was delivered at 27 weeks via emergency c section and spent 12 weeks in NiCU.
second one came 14 months later (we tried for years to conceive DS1, resorting to three rounds of fertility treatment...so Ds2 was a shocker)...via c section. this was due to my blood pressure again and my obstrectican insisted it was the best way to go, esp since my scars had not properly healed since the first pregnancy.

this is my third child and a new hospital and a new consultant and a new gift of gestational diabetes (I'm a vegan, always exercised and been healthy but seems my pancreas is not secreting enough insulin)...he says VBAC is out of the question and an attempt at a natural birth will cause uterine rupture. he also said as it is my third and I am on insulin that a third c section is the only way to go.

but this is my last pregnancy and I really want to know what natural birth feels
likes. and there is a school of thought that natural is best and 'u haven't give birth unless it is natural..' etc

not that I believe this but I would like to say I gave it a go ...it's such a shame I will never experience a cramp, a contraction or any of the so called natural experiences of child birth. I didn't fight too much with Ds2- was too exhausted with Ds1, but this is my last child and feels like my last chance

I am 34 weeks now seems too late to change doctors but has anyone else been told they cannot have a natural birth?

are doctors now too scalpel happy or is it that it is too dangerous for me to have a natural birth??

OP posts:

sanfairyanne · 14/07/2015 07:49

not at all helpful BeautifulBatman. do you often mock and scorn other peoples feelings? if so, stop it!

BeautifulBatman · 14/07/2015 09:09

I'm not mocking the OP - the narcissists that post their birth videos online maybe but not the OP. I was merely pointing out how opposite some women ie me and the OP are. Unclench!

sanfairyanne · 14/07/2015 09:19

opposite how exactly? that you are happy just to have a healthy baby at the end of it?? and what exactly does that say about the op and anyone else who dares to want a bit of a say over their body during birth? giving you the benefit of the doubt, perhaps you dont yet know how 'all you should want is a healthy baby' has been thrown in the face of women who dare to express an opinion about their labour/birth for decades.

BeautifulBatman · 14/07/2015 09:26

Because she is desperate for vaginal birth and I'm not! Good grief. Who rattled your cage?

Yerwanoverthere · 14/07/2015 09:55

Hi Amber, my friend had a very similar experience to you and she was so upset when the consultants advised against vbac on her third. There was also a 10 year gap between 2 and 3 so she really thought she could give it a go. But she had the section as advised and her dd2 was a very happy healthy baby. It really is for the health of you and your baby.

If you have a vaginal birth you do not get a badge to wear at the school gate, they do not ask how you were born on your college application, it does not make your child smarter/prettier/richer......... there comes a time when your birth stories are never discussed anymore. Having a vb does not a mother make!

Just put it down to the best option for you and your baby, try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and look forward to meeting your new baby. Best of luck

BunnyPotter · 14/07/2015 10:10

Sorry, I don't have time to read through.

Just wanted to say (if it's not already been said) that maybe you could ask about a "family friendly" or "mother-assisted" caesarean. There's a video on YouTube about it.

And as for natural birth, yes, it can be amazing, it really can, BUT a c-section is NOT a cop out, it's not cheating, it's MAJOR surgery. As for the idea that you didn't "do it" yourself, you did, you just had a helping hand or two. That's all. YOU grew your baby and your body has not, is not and will never be a failure.

If anybody EVER judges you for how you give/gave birth, remind yourself that the fact they feel the need to is THEIR problem.

OhGood · 14/07/2015 10:32

congratulations on your baby

sanfairyanne · 14/07/2015 13:48

"unclench"

"who rattled your cage"

benefit of the doubt kind of slipping away here

BeautifulBatman · 14/07/2015 14:26

Oh, gutted, I'm sure.

Weddersmrs4 · 17/07/2015 22:35

I have had elcs after failed induction, normal vag birth and emergency section, I have been told that I now have to have another section as a risk of rupture. my last section was almost 8 yrs ago.
I understand completely how you feel, I am disappointed that I am not going to experience labour again, esp as I have a new partner who has no other children, and I feel that labour can bring a closeness to relationships, (not that we are not close already but it does bring a special bond, i feel)
I don't care about being judged by anyone, everyones births are different and personal to that person, but I do feel disappointed, plus I have 3 other kids to look after so not ideal to be laid up recovering ....

Brionius · 23/07/2015 11:21

Nothing useful to offer just hope you do your research and then make your choice. What you decide for you and your baby is entire up to you, all they can do is offer you their reasons.

ShebaShimmyShake · 23/07/2015 23:08

Remember that once upon a time, one in three women died in childbirth because they couldn't have safe emergency C sections and so on. Ignore the 'natural' morons (and who says you haven't really given birth, what the fuck. Have people who needed fertility treatment or IVF not really conceived? What horseshit.). You know what else is natural? Polio. Diphtheria. Deadly nightshade. Hungry tigers. And, until recently, dead labouring women and babies. Natural doesn't mean safe or good.

If the mother and baby are both healthy and well, it doesn't matter if you travelled by the footpath or the cyclepath. The destination is the same and labour is not what parenthood is about.

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