Is having one child being selfish

[MUSA]

can anyone please tell me, wanting one child only is it being selfish. My family think so.

Apparently more CEOs, politicians, musicians, other very accomplished people were onlies! Not that you're guaranteed to produce a brain surgeon or top solicitor just because he doesn't have any siblings though

God would have another one just to ensure you don't produce any Lawyers

(am allowed to say that as dh is one btw before I get lynched by all the mn legal types)

Its a personel thing, only you can decide how many children you want. I have two and sometimes think i would be wonderful to just have one. Don't let people push you into having another if you don't want to, cause you might end up resenting the child. Stick to your guns.

Thank you to everybody who has given me advice, i have since changed my views in many ways. stace my heart goes out to you, and you are so right about, i dont no what i would do if anything ever happened to me or my husband. wouldnt ever want my child to be alone. just like to say good luck to you, i know you can do it, you will always find a way to cope.

thanks for your vote of confidence, i wish you luck with your decision and i can easily tell that it will be the right one for you cos you are thinking it all through now!!! Feel free to bounce around your changing thoughts if you like i happy to give feedback if you like!!!

No, MUSA, def. not selfish. Tell them all to bog off

MUSA I cannot understand why people think they have a right to tell you how many children to have! Actually I have 3 but would defend anyone's right to have 1. If you only want one child, for whatever reason (difficult birth, financial reasons or just feel you couldn't deal with it) then that is absolutely the right decision. How awful to have a 2nd baby to please others and perhaps resent the child. Equally, anyone should be entitled to have 3, 4 or however many. It's them that has to bear them feed them, bring them up...Can you tell this makes me angry! You're "supposed" to have two, if they are a boy and a girl even better. I got a lot of odd comments (you're brave/mad) when pg with no 3, but why should we conform to someone else's norms? This is whyI NEVER ask people if they are having a 2nd child - maybe they can't conceive or simply don't want to. You do what's good for you MUSA. I love my big family but would never insist on anyone else doing it just to keep me company!

No, you aren't being selfish, only you can decide what's right for you and your family.
Having said that, I desperately want at least one sibling for ds. I'm one of three and really value the relationship I have with my sisters, even though we weren't always best of friends as kids. We may fight among ourselves but if anyone else interferes we present a very united front! My mother was an only child (adopted) and hated being on her own when her parents died (first when she was 21, second when she was 23). Thinks she feels very lonely, not having any family of her own to share all the memories with (apart from us, of course, but it isn't the same as having contemporaries). But I know other only children who are very happy with that, as are their parents. Whatever works for you - no-one else has any right to criticise.

You are not selfish Musa ... agree with everyone else ... you must do what is right for you and tell everyone else to get lost. I don't know why people hassle people about a)having a baby as soon as they get married or hit 30 and b) have another baby once you have had the first ...
And then ... once people get pregnant with their third or fourth child everyone sees fit to comment negatively on that ... bizarre ...!
FWIW ... After my terrible birth experience with DS followed by a sick baby and PND I was only going to have one child ....
We decided when he was 2 to try for another for DS's sake ... and DH wanted another but I didn't. I got pregnant almost reluctantly and then lost that pregnancy at 12 weeks. I was devastated ... and that was the turning point for me ... I realised I did really want another but didn't want the nightmare that went before.
So we tried again and I fell pregnant with DD. The birth was a dream ... (c/s) thanks to a wonderful sympathetic midwife who stuck by me throughout my pregnancy and DD is the most delightful baby ... I can't imagine life without her and I shudder at the thought that I might not have had her ...
Love
Gxx