feeling panicked and alarmed by midwife comments

[orangutanhihio]

I had my 32 week midwife appointment today. It's my second pregnancy and my first ended with emcs after a long and unsuccessful labour and foetal distress, which was making me panic too.

I've had multiple miscarriages and both my dc are IVF, this is my second and last child. Thankfully I have a lovely consultant who states clearly he believes in maternal choice and he supports my choice to have a elcs this time, he wrote this in my notes and he's going to book it when he sees me in two weeks. However the midwife today started telling me how I should have a vaginal birth, it's my chance to try again and it may work out well this time etc.

I froze up in the appointment and couldn't say anything from fear, it reminded me of the midwives in my last labour who were very unsupportive and bullying. Although I'm really happy I have a lovely consultant, I'm terrified now that if I go into labour before the section date he books then the midwives will force me to have a vaginal birth, which is what they did to my friend who ended up with forceps :-(

I have nothing against vaginal birth, but I tried it last time and it didn't work for me, I'd much rather have a calm, planned section this time. If I have one at 38 weeks would that be bad for baby? I think that'd reduce the risk of labour before planned section...

Don't worry, your consultant is the one who makes the decision. They cannot force you. You will have the birth you want :)

Take no notice of the lovely MW. She has no power. She is programmed to talk you out of a section. You will have the birth that you choose. Good luck.

If your consultant said it's fine then I'm sure it will be. I totally understand where you're coming from, I had a similar first labour and point blank refused to try vaginally the second time. Everyone was on my side though and I had a very relaxed elcs which was such a different experience. Tell the midwife where to go! I didn't want to try again and I see you don't either. That's your choice! If the consultant is booking you in, completely ignore the midwife. Best of luck with your section!

And my baby was fine at 37 weeks (I just needed steroid injections to help ensure her lungs would be working better pre op but I don't think they need to do this at 38 weeks).

If you are booked in for a section and you go in to labour they will still do a section.

It's unlikely you'll be allowed to book a section before 39 weeks. If you go into labour beforehand, you won't be forced into a natural birth, so don't worry.

As for the midwife, just smile and nod. I had an elective section last week and it was fantastic

There are good reasons why they book sections for 39 weeks and not before given a free choice. That said, no reason why you should be forced into natural birth even if you start to labour before - just means EMCS.