Can you send me some positive vibes for childbirth

[Mariacbw]

I'm 36+4 with DC2, with DC1 i was induced and had a horrendous experience of childbirth. I was terrified throughout first pregnancy, this time though ive put thoughts of childbirth aside . . . Until now. Just started on mat leave and the panic has set in. I can't sleep. Imagining what lies ahead, I literally can't bear the thought of it. Thoughts of meeting our new bundle of joy are an impossibility, as the thought of being in hospital / the pain / the lack of dignity etc just make my heart race. Mentioned my fear to MW who said 'oh second time round is much better' that's it!

I need some positivity, I know this is a mind over matter situation so could you amassing women who look forward to the north / have overcome fears please share your positive vibes (and help me go to sleep without knots in my stomach)

Sorry you're feeling so scared and that your MW was so crap. I was terrified first time round and had hypnotherapy. It really helped me to relax and stop panicking. The NCT sell some CDs here.

There was a book that helped me too. Will see if I can find the title...

Thank you, I got an hypbobirthing app but found it the wording too intense so had to turn it off. Will check out NCTd though.

Here it is. It helped me feel more in control.

Am sure other people will be along later with better advice, but hope this helps for now. It's horrible to be up late, worrying. Especially when you already have a small child to look after.

Sounds like you might need some counselling to help with what you went through last time. Not sure how you go about that, but I'm sure other Mumsnetters who've been through this will have some ideas.

Thanks Rhar book definetly looks like it's worth a read.
I would imagine it's too late for counselling, if I can just take get a positive mental attitude to take the edge off the panic it will help immensely.

If it is too late for an elective then why not consider a water birth?
Don't let them induce you (unless baby in distress/you get to 42 weeks) and try to walk around rather than being forced into one position. Have your partner/friend/doula to advocate for you and get as much pain relief as you can when you need it.

ive decided to go to the birthing centre rather than main maternity hospital where I went first time round. Really don't want to be in the water for the birth but may use for pain relief.
There's no way I'll be induced other than for the reasons you said.

I was in your shoes btw including insomnia/nightmares. Hypnobook did not work for me personally...but my problem was in all three that I never had an urge to push, only pain and panic.
I wish I had tried water. I wish I had not had my waters broken. I wish I had told them to do a ventouse earlier with no. 2 and above all I wish I had not done a natural birth with no. 3.... learn from my mistakes and take control now my love. What do you want to avoid from last time? What helped you last time? What do you think you need this time?

Will the birthing centre push for a natural birth? Did you have pain relief last time? Did it help or hinder you?

Mind over matter works for some, yes, as they can get through transition without losing it. Plus adrenaline/stress hormones can slow you down I think. But....this does not apply to all women and you are not failing if you cannot employ it [tea]
You will have a gorgeous baby OP and you do know, that it's all done within a day usually don't you? Focus on that, if it gets tough again, it won't last forever sweetheart.

thanks for your reply.
I want to avoid getting induced, I want to avoid havingwaters broken, I want to avoid forceps all of which I needed last time.
Birthing centre push for a natural birth, only pain relief is Gas & air / diamorphine. I managed with that last time until I had to go to theatre.
I think making a list of what helped last time, no matter how small will be useful. And like you say, to remember it's just for one day!