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Childbirth

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Original poster

dna

53 replies

LumpyCustard69 · 10/05/2015 18:29

I'm not sure if this is in the riht place, sorry.

Has anyone had any experience with getting parental dna done in the UK?

The father of my baby wants one done, which is fine, but it means I can't register the baby until the results are back (because I want the child to have the correct surname). How long do they normally take?

I may have to have a C-section, which means I'll be in hospital a couple of days or so after baby is born, and I'd rather not have the father come to the hospital if I can help it, so that'll delay it a tiny bit already :(

I'm 25weeks and have to have a scan as the decider to c-section on the 30th July. So I'm just trying to organise everything, and have an understanding of it all before the time quickly disappears!

tia

OP posts:
PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 12/05/2015 13:23

Yes, if he has DNA results he can use them to press for more involvement. He can press for tests even if he didn't have them. But it's amazing how many awkward men give up at the smallest hurdle to themselves. It really can make a difference whether they can muck you about only putting themselves out a little.

Regardless of whether his name will be on the certificate, I would think very hard about giving yoru child his name. You've said you already have doubts and are giving him a chance. There is also the chance that you end up having nothing to do with him and your child has his name tacked on when he means nothing to her (though the advantage with a double barrel is it is at least easy to drop day to day).

Also, your name is not your Ex-H's. You would be giving the baby your name, not his.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 12/05/2015 13:24

I hope you sort out the DNA testing. Flowers

What name do you plan to use if it is your partner's child?

Tequilashotsfor1 · 12/05/2015 13:27

Wow why the hang up on the surname? It wasn't the question.

It depends op you can go through the GP or you can get one sent through the post of a reputable DNA company where the test is done in your home and then gets sealed and sent off and takes about two week.

Tequilashotsfor1 · 12/05/2015 13:30

Just seen your last post. Did I read right? You want to give your ex h but still not deviorced surname to a child that is not his?

I don't think that's right or fair on your new child. How confusing for it.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 12/05/2015 13:36

No Tequila. She is talking about her surname (which is the same as that of her ex husband) double barrelled with the bio dad's name.

StrawberryTartYum · 12/05/2015 13:41

Myself and my ex used a DNA test last year, I cannot remember exactly how long the process took but it was no longer than three weeks. We used the same one that the courts use, and were able to choose to be emailed the results which saved some money and probably sped things up by a day or two.

Tequilashotsfor1 · 12/05/2015 13:42

Right I see!

5madthings · 12/05/2015 13:42

Op thinks baby could be dna request bloke or ex husband? Is that right?

And yes op it is your surname even if you share it with your ex so you can use it. You may decide to double barrel it with thefathers name if it turns out dna request bloke is dad. But you don't have to.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 12/05/2015 13:43

A friends results took about 2 weeks to come back so try and get it done within a couple of weeks after birth as you'll obviously need to register your baby by 6 weeks. Good luck!

5madthings · 12/05/2015 13:44

Oh hang on partner is not your ex?

FreckledLeopard · 12/05/2015 13:47

Hold on. If you're not divorced, then legally, isn't it the case that your estranged husband will be the registered father, irrespective of whether he's the biological father?

Original poster
LumpyCustard69 · 12/05/2015 13:51

I'm glad they can e-mail results! I have very little faith in our postal service nowadays!!!
I know that Boots do a dna test, which is the one the guy was on about using.

As far as surname's go, if it is not my partner's, which surname do you suggest I use Tequila? Dna guy's surname only? My maiden name so that it will differ from it's mum, dad, and sister? Far as I can see it, double barrelled is the best option I have.

Penguin, I haven't considered what I will do about surname if it is miraculously my partner's Confused I'm convinced it's not, so have focussed on the other Sad
I suppose probably double barrelled then...................

It's hard enough finding a first name I like!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
LumpyCustard69 · 12/05/2015 13:54

I have, an estranged husband, who is not in the picture for this pregnancy at all!
I have a partner that I was with until the end of October who I got back together with in January.
The dna request guy who I hooked up with in December.

Sorry, I know it's a totally screwy situation Sad

OP posts:
StrawberryTartYum · 12/05/2015 13:55

Yeah that was a concern of mine as well, I just checked and it was AlphaBioLabs that we used. Good luck

tabulahrasa · 12/05/2015 13:55

Firstly you can give any surname you fancy, yours, his, your ex-husband's, any random name you like the sound of...all perfectly legal. Though that's probably not particularly useful information in your situation.

What might be though is, if you are not married to the baby's father and he does not attend the registration, you can go at a later point together and reregister to add his details as father and change the baby's surname.

Original poster
LumpyCustard69 · 12/05/2015 13:56

Freckled, A husband can be put on a birth certificate if he is not present at registration. But they do not just put it on there because you're still married. You have to ask them to (from what I understand)

OP posts:
Original poster
LumpyCustard69 · 12/05/2015 13:59

Thank you Tabula. I think I may have to register the child and change it later. Mostly because I remember when I had my dd I had to scream at my doctors surgery because they were refusing to see her for her oral thrush until she'd been registered!!!!! It wasn't even my fault, she was stuck in scbu for 5 days, and the hospital didn't have an onsite registrar, and then the registry office couldn't fit us in for days!!!!!

OP posts:
Tequilashotsfor1 · 12/05/2015 14:05

Yeah it is a screwy situation. I don't think I would stick another mans name with no DNA connection on to my child.

There is no shame in having children with different surnames. How do you think you (ex) husband will feel? Would it have implications on CS?

So in reality you could call your child any surname you like? Or do you have to be married and it doesn't matter if your child was your husbands or not - they can still take the name ? Confused

tabulahrasa · 12/05/2015 14:09

"So in reality you could call your child any surname you like?"

Literally any one you want.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 12/05/2015 14:10

LumpyCustard69 I was in the same position as you when my youngest was born in relation to having an estranged husband. The wording that is used makes it clear that he is irrelevant if he is not the father.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 12/05/2015 14:12

So in reality you could call your child any surname you like? Or do you have to be married and it doesn't matter if your child was your husbands or not - they can still take the name ?

Yep any name, what surname the child has doesn't mean anything as far as pr or child maintenance is concerned.

5madthings · 12/05/2015 14:17

It may be her ex husbands surname, but it is also HER surname which she would be giving to her child. Nothing to do with ex husband. Op register in your name, then if the fathers steps up and is involved they can be added. The father won't be named on birth certificate unless they come with you, but they can be added later.

Tequilashotsfor1 · 12/05/2015 14:18

Wow - I have a shit surname. My parents could have really helped me out !

tabulahrasa · 12/05/2015 14:30

Tequila - Grin sorry, yes, they could have if they'd wanted to given you a completely random name.

I know of a child with no surname... I don't know how that works, but apparently when the child was registered at school, the mother was adamant she hadn't given a surname and supposedly the birth certificate reflected that Confused (I worked in the school)

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 12/05/2015 14:45

Yeah it is a screwy situation. I don't think I would stick another mans name with no DNA connection on to my child.

I sort of agree with you. No, I wouldn't give my child a name of a former partner who had no connection to the child, that would be weird and stalkery.

But in this case that is not what is being discussed. The OP changed her name on marriage. That name (let's say Jones) is her name. Jones is her name whether she divorces, stays married, marries someone else, whatever. She has simply chosen to change her name from her maiden name to Jones. Her EX-H has no ownership of it, and it isn't 'another man's name'. It's her name.

I am sure you didn't mean it this way, but your comment sort of implies that the surname is some sort of badge of ownership that you get to use during marriage but is never really 'yours' to keep or pass on.