Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

Original poster

DC1 at DC2's birth in NHS hospital?

17 replies

poppynic · 07/11/2006 11:18

We are new to England and don't have anyone to call on should baby arrive during the night or at an odd time. DS is 4 and in nursery from 9.15 to 3.30 - so it would be good if DC2 could arrive in those hours! But if not, am thinking DS4 will have to accompany us to the hospital. Has anyone done this? How did the DC and hospital cope? Are there other viable options?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NomDePlume · 07/11/2006 11:21

Do you attend any ante-natal classes or anything ? Is there REALLY no-one you can leave DS1 with ? TBH, I can't see NHS hospitals welcoming this scenario with open arms, but you may be suprised. Have you spoken to your midwife about it ?

Original poster

poppynic · 07/11/2006 11:34

There is a girl I have got to know around the corner who I would be happy to leave him with - but not well enough to wake her up in the middle of the night. And she's struggling without any family here and a 2 year old and 5 month old. I haven't gone to ante-natal classes as am on second baby - midwife didn't seem to think it necessary and I didn't really want to head out to them on my own at night - dp would have to stay home to look after ds. I've only seen the midwife once as have been having my ante-natal appointments with my GP.

OP posts:

foxtrot · 07/11/2006 11:44

Hi poppynic, that is a real dilemma you have. We took DS1 to hospital in the middle of the night when my waters broke with DS2, the midwives were fine about it, but it was only for a couple of hours whilst my parents drove over to babysit. I suppose it depends if you want DP to be at the birth, otherwise he could take you to hospital then bring DS home/to nursery. I hope you can find someone - would someone at nursery be able to help?

misdee · 07/11/2006 11:47

have you considered a home birth?

lulumama · 07/11/2006 11:52

there is a nursery near me that provides ad hoc emergency nannies and baby sitters..all CRB checked and many are nursery nurses......

there is also a similar agency i found near me., not connected to a nursery..

i bet if you investigated it , you would be able to find similar near you...then you know someone qualified is only a call away..day or night!

lemonaid · 07/11/2006 11:59

Whereabouts do you live?

lulumama · 07/11/2006 12:01

don't know if it is within their remit, but maybe sure start or homestart could help ? at the very least with some advice?

Original poster

poppynic · 07/11/2006 12:22

We live in South Hampstead, London. I will ask at my son's nursery. I would love to have a home birth if I could guarantee a nice normal delivery. But as I'm a bit of a pessimist and last time involved an induction at 42 weeks, breaking the waters with baby floating high, and shoulder dystocia - and to add to that I'm now 40 and have Group B Strep - I'm going to stick with the hospital... I have never left DS with someone I didn't know and would rather not now (once again the pessimism kicks in), even if they are qualified and checked.

OP posts:

lulumama · 07/11/2006 12:24

one of the nursery nurses from DSs nursery used to babysit for us regularly...she was his favourite! if you DS has a 'favourite', it is worth asking, especially if she is a younger girl without kids of her own to worry about yet! sadly, i am 200 miles away..or would volunteer my services!!

edam · 07/11/2006 12:31

Good idea re nursery assistants, think that is probably your best bet. I don't think the staff at the hospital would be too keen on looking after your ds, they tend to be fairly overstretched already.

PS Mumsnet abbreviations refer to birth order not age - so your ds is ds1 and new baby if male would be ds2.

Iworkthere · 07/11/2006 15:44

Hi poppynic I'm glad you ddn't think I was being rude on the other thread I will try and respond but it will have to be later since I want to give it some thought. FWIW my first was there for the birth of my second in an NHS hospital. BUT it was within 15 minutes of walking though the door(hence my midwives keeness for me to have a homebirth!). I think it would be difficult if it had been a long labour and if it all goes pear shaped in a hurrythey will hustle them(your dh/ds )out or to the back of the room or try and whisk ds away so that they can get on with things. I think it might be difficult for you/your dh to "concentrate" if your ds is there like I say especially if it takes a while. IF it does go wrong they can always find someone to sit with your ds for a bit (medical student/cleaner etc) but they can't do it for 16 hours! There is also an agency called sitters in London never used them myself but friends have and have been happy with them might be worth looking into. Plus emergency nanny places. My first was 2.5 and doesn't remember a thing (he does have a good memory but I can tell it would be a different kettle of fish now-nearly 4). When is your next due?

Original poster

poppynic · 07/11/2006 21:05

Thanks everyone. Iworkthere, my next is due in January. I wouldn't expect the hosp. staff to care for ds - that would have to be dp's job and I would have to make do... but even having ds around might cause "problems" for hosp staff? As the first birth was 2.5 hours all up I'm anticipating a short burst for the second but of course anything can happen.

OP posts:

spinamum · 07/11/2006 21:25

I haven't got much practical advice. Just sympathy! I'm in the same boat myself. Either DS2 turns up during nursery hours (or even daylight) or DS1 ends up coming to hospital in an emergency, before being shifted off to ILs if they can make it.(which is unlikely due to certain circumstances)

I'm trying to collate a list of people who might be able to help in said emergency. It is amazing how people will help if necessary.

Good luck with everything!

mustrunmore · 07/11/2006 21:33

We were in this position. We had decided that ds1would stay with dh, and I would have the baby alone. Then we decided to have a doula; i told a friend I'd met through playgroup, and she ended up being my birth partner (with Marslady as reserve doula incase the birth clashed with friends prebooked holiday!) ds1 did come to the hospital, as it was a planned section, and stayed with dh in the waiting rooom while we went and had ds2!

Iworkthere · 08/11/2006 00:07

Like I say poppynic if it all starts going wrong someone will whisk ds away or your dh and him will find themselves in a corner (so to speak). I'm guessing now but if it's a long interventional type labour people might get a bit irritated with having your ds around especially since he's 4/if he's getting irritable himself. mustrunmore can I ask was the doula going to be there to look after ds1 or was that dh job and she was going to be there for you?

mustrunmore · 08/11/2006 08:19

She was for me; dh was going to stay with ds1.

Original poster

poppynic · 10/11/2006 11:19

Have asked ds's head nursery teacher if they have babysitting contacts etc. etc. After a bit of a talk she said she would be happy to "scoop him up" for a couple of hours at the end of a nursery day and she lives just around the corner from us. I've always been really impressed by her and her offer has made me so . (We still have middle of the night/weekend stuff to deal with but at least we've made a start.)

OP posts:

Flip