AIBU to consider homebirth for first baby?

[ElleyBear13]

Hello all,

Just needing advice, other experiences etc on homebirth esp for first baby and your opinion.

Currently 23+4 with "first baby" (to me its my second, after we lost our first to mc), no issues with pregnancy so far every is healthy and hopefully will continue to be. I'm 25 no health issues. I've been discussing with my midwife, if everything goes well, to start labour at home and go from there hopefully to have baby at home but more than happy to transfer if needs arise or if i feel uncomfortable being at home. Baby is long awaited and I've been researching childbirth options prior to pregnancy!

Anyways I got discussing with one of my colleagues at work about the baby, and she asked which hospital I was choosing to give birth in, I replied I was hoping to start at home and hopefully have a homebirth. I thought nothing of this as we were just chatting, however since returning to work this week I've had a few of my (mothers) colleagues coming up to me saying they heard I was considering a homebirth and telling me I'm putting my baby at risk...they have all had hospital births, resulting in epidurals, forceps, emergency c-sections etc and how would I cope if that happened at home? I tried to reassure them that Ive done my research, and I havent had good experiences of hospitals (mc being a particular sad memory) so I don't want my stress interfering with the labour.

However I'm now panicking that I am being completely unreasonable wanting to start my birth at home, I'm not scared of labor . So mnetters aibu? Any advice?

Home birth is NOT riskier! Both home and hospital have risks. Just choose what is right for you. And listen to the midwife. She is a medical professional who knows her stuff, so you can trust her advice.

I am expecting my first as well and I'm set on a home birth. Home births are pretty common over here and not so 'frowned' upon. My SIL had 2 hospital births because she felt better there, but she isn't judging me for wanting to stay at home.

No, YANBU, you have made an informed choice about what is right for you. Homebirth is very safe. Although the birth place study showed a small increased risk for first time mothers at home (but not when it was their second/third etc baby), the absolute risk is still very low and there is no explanation as to why there was an increased risk given that stand along midwife led units (which don't have any more equipment than you'd have at home) did not show an increased risk so it is something that needs further study really. Plus the types of risk they were looking at were fairly arbitrary, did not show a significant different several months down the line, and did not take into account any psychological factors such as satisfaction in birth experience which play a major part in long term well being of both mother and baby with regards to bonding, PND and PTSD and self esteem as a parent; all of which can affect the long term mental health of the child not just the mother so are pretty important!

Women tend to be more satisfied with their birth outcomes when they fell they have control so having an open mind as you seem to have of starting and home and transfer if necessary is a great start, whatever happens, you call the shots.

Just tell people that oyu have done your research, have made the right choice for you and your family and that your midwife is happy to support you.

I had a home water birth. I was 25 very overweight and lived 40 minutes from nearest hospital. Luckily one of the midwives lived about 3 minutes drive away. This was 10 years ago (omg!) but I'm so pleased I did it that way.

No risker and often safer.

Go for it!

For my first I registered for homebirth and birth centre so had option on the day.

People were very negative when I said I wanted a home birth with my second. I ignored them as I had done my research and felt it wasn't 'riskier'. I think you just have to go into it with an open mind (which you seem to be in starting labour at home and seeing how things go) and know that if there's something not quite right then you transfer.

I had people who had done no research telling me I was selfish and putting my baby at risk purely because of their own experiences or perceptions of others' experiences. It annoyed me greatly as they had no reason to say what they said other than ignorance.

I had a home birth for my first, for similar reasons to you (negative associations with hospitals) and with a similar outlook to you (transfer in in the case of failure to progress -which is the case for transfer for the overwhelming majority, esp first timers). I was so much more comfortable in my own environment and so glad I had the courage of my convictions and went through with it. There are a lot of people who will try to derail you if you tell them - I found none had done any actual research. Maybe best not to tell at all if it's going to make you wobble on something that's clearly very important to you? And maybe check if there's a homebirth support network in your area? I found mine very useful.

Sorry you've had negative reactions -wish people would stick their noses out, even if they think they're well intended it's most unhelpful. I wish you the very best for the rest of your pregnancy and birth, whatever you decide!

Elley, YANBU. I second pretty much all the responses so far. Most people have been 'schooled' that childbirth is a medical thing that needs intervention if the boxes aren't ticked.... only the boxes are designed to balance safety with cost, litigation, etc etc, all based in a hospital. At home you will have more constant, consistent care than if you are in the hospital!

I had my first child at home (6 years ago), after a previous miscarriage, and wouldn't change it for the world. it wasn't an easy birth by any means, and I can tell you that had i been in the hospital it would have become the 'drama' that many other people tell you about. However, this was mainly because i was pushing for 5 hours and the limit in hospital is 2 hours. Baby was checked several times to make sure he was not distressed (he wasn't), and I was genuinely exhausted by the end, but I had a much calmer birth and recovery at home than if i had been rushed off for an "emergency" CS. Unfortunately we transferred to hospital a few hours after the birth because DS had ABO blood incompatability, absolutely nothing to do with the home birth, but bad jaundice and needing some extra care.

I genuinely believe that if you are more comfortable at home, have done your research, and are willing to transfer in if need be, then a home birth is a better safer option.

DS2 was born at home in a lovely, easy, smooth homebirth 3 years later.

DC3 will hopefully be born at home some time between now and 3 weeks from now :-)

I thought that the recent guidelines said there was a slightly higher risk for adverse outcome for a first baby in a home birth?
[http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg190/chapter/1-recommendations#place-of-birth]

It did, yes, I've mentioned a few bits about that it my post earlier on in the thread.

No. Lots of people do it!

8/10 births at my friend's GP surgery are home births as their community midwives are massively into it. Makes sense, much more relaxing to be at home than in hospital!

We had our first at home and baby was not at a greater risk than he would have been in hospital. I had a longish labour and a midwife was with us for 15 hours. She regularly monitored baby's HB using a Doppler and we all felt very relaxed. Unfortunately, I had a complication right at the end, but the midwife was very well equipped to deal with the situation and they got a paramedic on site very quickly. Baby was absolutely fine. I needed a bit of hospital treatment, but that would have probably been the case wherever I have birth, and I have absolutely no regrets about our decision.

If you feel a Hb is right for you, and your midwife says it's okay, go for it. The midwives don't take risks and will recommend admission if they have any concerns. With that knowledge, we always approached the HB with the idea that we were going to 'stay at home as long as possible'.

Good luck