Please please can anyone advise me about breastfeeding?

[lillamyy1]

I had my baby 5 days ago and my milk has only just come in. It's been really difficult feeding, mainly because my breasts won't let the milk out quickly enough, even now it's come in, which makes DS very agitated very quickly to the point where he's crying too much to feed. it's got to the point where sometimes even the hint that I might be about to out him to the breast is enough to make him start crying uncontrollably. It breaks my heart
If I hand express it's very slow. Pumping is slightly faster.
I've often had to resort to feeding with a syringe, cup or bottle. I thought it would be better when my milk came in but it's no faster.
I've had various midwives including 'breast feeding specialists' come and try to help but none of them have given me any advice when I've mentioned how slowly the milk comes out.
I've tried massaging but that doesn't help.
DS has had about 4 or 5 very successful feeds but it's so difficult most of the time that I'm often having to substitute with formula.
If anyone had any tips on how to encourage the milk to come out quicker, I'd be so grateful.

It gets better! No expert here but wondering if pumping a little before a fees would stimulate let down and milk flow maybe - then put DS on to feed ?

I had to hand express/pump for about 1 min before each feed to get the let down, reasons being; boobs were very engorged and ds couldn't get a good latch, he didn't like working to get the milk (liked it fast from the beginning) and if he got agitated with the trying he would never have a proper feed. Might this help? I'm also no expert, he's the first of my 3 dc that I have successfully managed to breastfeed.....

Gently massage your boob before a feed - that can help. Might be worth asking this to be moved to Infant Feeding - lots of very experienced feeders there.

The first weeks are hard but I promise it can get easier. Congratulations on your new arrival

Do you have a partner? They need to the baby before a feed and calm them down for you. They won't calm down on you as they can smell the milk and get themselves into a frenzy.

Also I can't recommend breast feeding drop in sessions enough- you should have them at your local children's centres. Personally I'd be there every day until this is sorted.

Best of luck

Breastfeed him, as much as you can. That will increase your milk supply.

Also, try to stop worrying about how 'fast' the milk comes out - you can't tell by squeezing or pumping how much milk you are making and how fast it is coming out. I breastfed twins exclusively until 6 months and never managed to express more than about 1 oz.

Get real life support, as soon as you can, but meanwhile, set yourself up with a big flask of tea, a box set and the telly, and just feed him. All day for a few days.

The last thing to do when trying to increase milk supply is top up with formula - your breasts will produce what baby needs - as long as he is getting (or trying to get) what he needs from your breasts.

It is extremely common for tiny babies to be fussy at the breast. As long as you are getting real life support (for eg to make sure he has not lost too much weight), feeding him very very often for a little while will really help.

Best of luck to you and DS :)

I agree with goldfish.

Definitely not an expert, but through my own struggles with breastfeeding I came across supplementary nursing systems. Basically running a thin flexible tube alongside your nipple with the other end in a bottle of EBM/formula so when baby sucks they get more, which in turn encourages strongersucking. Google Dr Jack Newman and look on you tube for instructions. It's a bit of a faff and I had to get the size 5 naso gastric tube I needed from the hospital but has worked really well with my lazy feeder.

Thanks everyone. How do I get the thread moved?

I think you report the post and ask for it to be moved in the message.

I meant to say earlier that these early days are super hard. 95% of people struggle and you are not alone or failing. You're both learning how to feed. The only things which are definite right now are that you won't get much sleep, you should have lots of scrummy skin to skin cuddles and have cake as a primary constituent of your diet.

Sorry - and the kellymom website is an excellent resource x

If you haven't already transferred the thread just start a new one - it's under the Feed the world section.

Have you had someone check for tongue tie? You should ask specifically about posterior tongue tie as it can be hard to spot but cause big problems with fussiness, latch - I had this and no feeds went well...a fussing, upset, v windy baby who couldn't latch and suck properly. And unfortunately only the lactation consultant I finally paid to come see me spotted it.

Is getting an independent lactation consultant to see you an option? Even if tongue tie isn't an issue, it could help if you don't feel you've had sufficient support elsewhere. You can find one here-mine helped a lot. www.lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/

I agree with the poster above, my dd has a tongue tie which wasn't spotted until 7 days in and they wouldn't snip it as it was posterior but it spelled the end for breast feeding for us as she had a terrible latch, got frantic on the breaSt, I was in agony and she ended up refusing the breast.

What goldfish said.
Plus maybe ring the la leche league or nct helplines.
Also it helps to get some skin to skin and lay back in bed.
Good luck.

I thought my pfb was hungry. I now think she was just tired!

Most people struggle at first. Just keep at it. If baby is gaining weight and doing lots of wet and dirty nappies then you can have some confidence that they're getting fed.

The next few weeks are difficult but keep going! Just feed baby lots and lots. Standard advice on here is to get set up with a drink/snacks/comfy chair and tv box sets/ netflix and just chill with your baby. Let the house go to hell or get a cleaner and just focus on baby.

It does get better, 5-6 weeks they seem to 'get' it more. They're learning as are you.

Loads of good advice if you search the infant feeding topic in here.

zen has excellent advice. It does get better, the more you feed, the better your supply will be

Spend a few days in bed with hun, lots of skin to skin and let him feed as often as possible. Most importantly for you, relax! If you're stressed, your letdown won't be as good. Good luck x

It's hard at first, and the hardest part is that you don't know your baby well enough to be sure what's wrong.

Heat like a hot shower will make your milk flow faster, so you could try that.

One thing to keep in mind is how often they need to feed, and sometimes they can't cope if they are hungry, so offer feeds more frequently.

Not all
Midwives really are 'bf specialists' and the ones you have seen don't sound particularly knowledgeable.

Try La Leche League, to be sure of seeing a well qualified person

I just wanted to offer some support, I have recently had a similar ish situation with my DD2 and it's very hard and upsetting. Lots of people are advising you to feed more and that it will get better but I just want to acknowledge that for you right now it feels like the end of the world and is very upsetting. I have been there just 3 weeks ago and really considered giving up.

Firstly, You are doing your absolute best, remember that

My advice would be when you need a break from him crying / fussing and getting upset then don't beat yourself up about giving him a top up! I had to and found the best option was to give a small amount of (expressed) milk first, I did this by cup in the early days and then by bottle after day 10 and sometimes it was formula if I hadn't expressed. I then swapped back to the breast when DD2 had gotten over the initial 'starving' bit of the feed and she took the breast ok. I also had a bath / shower (helps it flow) and used a dummy to calm her for ten seconds or whatever during the fussing moments and then tried again. I still use the dummy to calm her during her 'fussy' cluster feeding in the evening. Otherwise she will not latch and simply thrashed around.

I've probably done everything people would advise against BUT I know from my previous daughter my flow/letdown is slow, with her I really struggled and felt the advice 'just keep feeding' was completely unhelpful as it was depressing me, she was losing weight and we were both unhappy. This time I've been easier on myself and concentrated on keeping DD2 calm and content even if that means using a bottle / dummy now and again so that I can remain sane. I'm now pleased to say that at almost 6 weeks she is BF for 4 feeds a day and has two or three expressed bottles for the times she's really really hungry and doesn't have the patience for the breast. This works well so far for me. No one is screaming and she's gaining weight very well. Admittedly I have to pump a couple of times a day but for now I am happy to do so as she's so little. Maybe eventually she will feed completely on the breast or perhaps it will be expressed bottles or maybe it will be half and half with formula. Either way I don't mind, I've done my very best and she is well fed and happy.

Keep reminding yourself you're doing everything you can and go easy on yourself. BF is without doubt one of the hardest and most emotionally charged things I've ever done in my life and I think people often underestimate how useless and desperate it can make you feel if you 'can't do it' but keep going in whatever way you can and be proud you're even trying

Also do check out the infant feeding threads because I found those very supportive at the hardest times and full of good advice.

I agree with snowydrops, it's hard to just 'keep feeding' if the baby is obvs so hungry. It's so distressing. I realise that topping up is not great for your supply but remember that you can always build your supply up again when baby is bigger and stronger, should you wish, it's also not the end of the world to combination feed. I am now 20m in and some of my friends have no problem combination feeding, whereas most babies at this point will be taking bottle/cup only.

I had to do what one of the other posters mentioned, bring on let down with the pump and then latch my DD on, she had trouble getting let down going. She got there after a bit though, when she was a bit stronger. I also looked in to the supplementary feeding thing but ended up not having to use it.

Good luck!

Make sure you are taking in plenty of calories yourself and drink loads. I found that not eating or drinking enough really affected my milk.

Another tip that might help ... nipple shields ... my baby had trouble latching on and using a nipple shield gave her more 'purchase' if that makes sense, a larger area to get her gob around I guess. It saved our breastfeeding honestly! (And you can wean them off the nipple shield later, although I never bothered. If it ain't broke ... the kellymom website and other bf specialists sometiems have an issue with nipple shields, but if it makes you breastfeed vs not breastfeeding then it's a no brainer to me.)

You can also take fenugreek to increase your supply, lots of advice on that on kellymum and I've definitely seen an increase in my supply

Thank you all so much for your advice Especially Snowydrops- I've been doing exactly the same as you.
The great news is that my milk has come in properly now
DS is so happy and now he can't stop feeding - I've been up since 3:30am feeding him and changing his nappies!! I guess he's making up for lost time.
Thanks gain everyone