Feel a bit wobbly

[keepingmum121]

I think this feeling is probably because I'm fragile at the moment (see other threads if you want).
My children are 12 and 14. On Sunday I was chatting with a friend who is a midwife. Not sure how the topic came up but I mentioned that when I was heavily pregnant with my youngest, I was brought into hospital with awful pains. It was that pain of the groin (can't remember what it is called).
I was seen my a doctor and he told me I needed a rectal exam. I begged for a female midwife to do it, partly because I felt awkward with a man's fingers up me and mostly because my abusive ex h was with me and I knew that if another man touched me I would likely be in danger later on.
Anyway, he did eventually allow a midwife to do it. But afterwards he told me that she had not done it right and that he would have to do it anyway. So he did. I have always assumed it was a necessary thing, all part and parcel of the many indignities of pregnancy and childbirth.
When I recounted this to my friend (the midwife) she said that she could not think of a single reason why I should have needed a rectal exam. She commented that maybe the doctor was a pervert.
Now I am really worried. Shall I just try to think no more about it? Shall I pay to have my notes to peruse?
What would you do?

Didn't want to leave this unanswered.

I'm so sorry you're feeling wobbly, and understandably so. If you want to see your notes, I don't think you have to pay for them...I was under the impression that you can demand to see any info the NHS holds on you (presuming you are in the UK). If you would rather put it out of your mind, then do, although sometimes it is easier said than done.

Did you ever see the doctor again? And how did your husband react when you got home...you said you were likely to be in danger later on?

Sorry to hear your friend has worried you.

How old was the doctor? Looking through google, it appears to be an old fashioned method of checking the wall of your vagina and the cervix and is used in pregnancy to check the dilation of your cervix.

In the US it is routinely done by a gynaecologist during a routine check up to check for tumours that can be felt through the thin wall that separates the two bits of your anatomy so is an accepted procedure.

I would imagine that if the midwife did the rectal exam then it was a valid procedure which the doctor had to redo for the reason he stated.

Thank you for responding.
My friend told me I would have to pay to get my hospital notes. I believe they are separate from my gp notes, so maybe that is why.
No, I never saw that doctor again. Perhaps he was a locum.
I honestly can't remember what happened on that occasion with my h. It was over 12 years ago and I have blotted a lot out since then. He was always blaming me for things that weren't in my control and would beat me. I'm just glad to be rid of him.

I remember him as being youngish. Perhaps in his 30s or not much more. I could easily be wrong about that though.
That is a great relief to hear that there could have been a genuine explanation. I think I will just tell myself that it must be the correct one and put it behind me.