Do doctors ever put too many stitches in after tears and episiotomy?

[hobNong]

I'm starting to think that must have happened to me. 9 months have passed and we still have been unable to have sex. As soon as dp tries to enter it hurts like hell. Used loads of lube, foreplay, I'm definitely in the mood and it's made no difference. I think one of our attempts he has gone in all the way but I was in agony and had to stop, our other tries he's never fully penetrated. I'm feeling really upset about it, dp is very understanding and not at all pushy but I know he's frustrated too.

It's more likely that there's a build up of scar tissue. Or it could 'just' be you worrying about it hurting / being tense even if you think you're ready. Have you seen your GP about this?

I was quite sore for months after having DC1 (episiotomy and tear) and it didn't really resolve until after the birth of DC2 where it all tore open and was sewn up again.

Hmm I did wonder could it be me being tense but I really don't think it is. Without getting too detailed, tonight we did a lot of other stuff first and I didn't feel tense at all, I was really ready for it.

I was quite sore for months after having DC1 (episiotomy and tear) and it didn't really resolve until after the birth of DC2 where it all tore open and was sewn up again.

Ahh the miracle of childbirth!
I'm glad you're sorted now though. Thanks for replying.

And no I haven't seen a gp yet. I think it's time to go. I kept hoping it would resolve itself over time but that doesn't seem to be happening.

I am sure I read of someone on here who suffered for ages and then went and was, er, re-done as it hadn't been sewn quite carefully enough. It is such a sensitive area that even a tiny thing not in quite the right place can be agony. Do go and get looked at: 9 months is a long time.

That can be the case. Sometimes, also, a combination of abstinence and scar tissue makes everything very tight and unstretchy. It took two years for sex to stop being painful after a third degree tear, for me.

You can ask your GP for a gynae referral. There's something called a Fenton's procedure which involves being cut and re stitched.

This comment has lots of specific detail and is definitely TMI (You have been warned...)

I had the same problem. Too many stitches or too 'tightly' stitched up (i'm not sure which) so it was very painful to even attempt sex with DH. I had forceps delivery and had a sideways cut up into the labia (avoids cutting the perineum) and up the internal vaginal wall (big baby, even bigger head) and bled a LOT after delivery, so apparently the 'prettiness' of the repair was not an important factor at the time, they just wanted to stop the bleeding.

When DS was about 5-6 months old I went to GP and she prescribed a numbing cream, it had 4% lidocaine or something-caine in it that worked reasonably well. Apply 5-10 mins before sex and it didn't really hurt (comparatively) although was often tender for a few days afterwards. Felt like I had created a small tear down there a few times.

Over a year or two since I was given the cream (used it for about 3 months) things have greatly improved, although it is still not very comfortable at times, and certain positions are impossibly uncomfortable.

I googled this some time ago and apparently there is a small operation (done as an outpatient & under a local anaesthetic I think) you can have to correct the problem, but it sounded like it would be a fairly uncomfortable recovery, so I haven't followed it up. I'm kind of hoping that it will fix itself over time. It's not really doing that though, so I may just bite the bullet and ask GP to refer me for the surgery...

I strongly recommend talking to your GP (I asked to see a female GP - she wanted to have a look to check it had healed and how it looked anatomically) the cream is a huge help.

Thank you everyone for replying. I've wanted to post something about this for a while.

I do find it pretty bad that some of you have suffered for years before it gets better! I doubt a doctor would tell a man with a broken penis to use more lube or numbing cream!

That said I will definitely speak to a doctor and get them to take a look and I will ask about the cream. Do you get any enjoyment from sex with it though!? I have a private health care scheme so might try and get seen through them. I feel guilty if I use the NHS which is one of the reasons I've not seen a gp yet (I have issues!).

It's a catch-22 situation really:

Without the cream - too painful to have sex
With the cream - less enjoyable sex due to lack of sensation at vaginal entrance.

I used the cream to help things 'stretch' a bit by having sex (this was the GP's solution to my problem) and gradually tried to use less.

I also recommend KY jelly as a lubricant once things are less painful. Apply to the sore/tender area and it improves things, although again can diminish sensation. It takes a few tries to figure out how much is too much and how much is too little, IYSWIM.

Yeah I see what you mean with stretching things out. I feel like that's what needs to happen to me. Actually if I'm honest I sort of wish I could trim dp's penis a bit... He's not keen on the idea!

My friend had this, just said it didn't feel quite right. She has private health care too and saw a Dr and had an op within weeks. Small op but it "tidied things up"! Recovery was painful but so more so than post labour she just had to take it easy and sit on a pillow . I would definitely get it checked out

• no more so

Jenda I'd l

Oops!

I'd love the excuse to take it easy for a bit.

The entrance of my vagina was too tight after birth (regular size speculum couldn't fit in). Because was already seeing Women's health physio (I sustained serious injuries), she dealt with this problem too. WHP also deal with scar tissue.
So I was given a regime of massaging every day until things improved. The regime involved using lubricant and gently stretch with my thumb, back and forth. I also had to stretch backwards still using my thumb. Painful at first but it gets better and I got used to it. Lastly I used dilators. I started small for confidence and comfort. When I thought I was using the small one correctly (mainly swiping for 2 minutes after thumb massage), physio encouraged me to use slightly bigger one and then, maybe after 6 weeks, a regular size one.
The shape of the entrance changed a great deal after that (ie penetration could know happen).
Unfortunately, the skin now splits after sex (so I have a small cut like a paper cut for a few days afterwards-very painful) and penetration is still painful.
So 15 months on, I'm due to have surgery to improve and hopefully "cure" the problem: perineorraphy (might be the same as Fenton procedure). Outpatient, out same day. Been told to expect two weeks of pain and then 4 to 6 weeks for everything to heal completely. Not looking forward to it but looking forward to resuming a regular sex life.
Hope my story is useful.

Just read your post and had to reply. I had the same issue after having my dd. Penetration was excruciating and I was so worried I was ruined for life! I had an episiotomy at time of delivery and also some tearing around the urethra and maybe some tearing internally too...big baby! Anyway the episiotomy site was quite tender at first but I was able to manage that and knew it was normal but on deeper penetration it was excruciating and just couldn't do it. 5 months after having dd I Went for my routine smear check with the nurse and explained my situation. Nearly jumped off the bed while she was doing the speculum exam which she knew was not like me and said it wasn't normal. She took a swab internally and it showed up that I had some type of strep infection. One course of penicillin and I was right as rain. Couldn't believe it! Was so sorry I hadn't gone to be checked sooner but I had no signs of an infection (discharge, smell ect.) apart from the pain during intercourse.
I hope this is all that is wrong with you but from reading above it could be a number of things. Please do get checked out soon though and if not something simple like me insist on being referred to a Gynae/ob as they are the experts in this area and not Gps. Life is hard enough with a new baby in the house and even though sex takes a back seat it's also (for me anyway) an important part in a relationship.
Best of luck

I had a modified Fenton's procedure 10 months after a forceps delivery with episiotomy and 3b tear. I had a tiny amount of scar tissue apparently, though to me it felt like loads. The operation was fine and the recovery easy. Definitely worth seeing a gynaecologist and getting checked out. Good luck!

Another one that had discomfort after stitches with first baby. What fixed it was giving birth to no. 2 and home birth mW advising that they could stitch again but it would heal better on it's own. I took their advice and no more problems.

hobNong How are things going now?
I find myself googling for hours! I am almost three years post...and reading your post I can relate to a lot. I had an induced labor, my first, very short only 7 hours after them breaking my waters, using the venturous and forceps, I ended up with a 3rd degree tear, internal tears and and episiotomy. When I saw my gp soon after the birth he told me the hospital had stitched me up too tight. There is nothing that can be done here in NZ unless I want to have that fenton's procedure but NO I don't. I couldn't imagine anything worse than the recovery with a toddler. It was bad enough with a newborn not being able to sit down for two months. I haven't had sex for over a month. I'm lucky if I let my husband try once a month as I am still in a lot of pain. I have looked into all kinds of natural therapy. Sexology, stretching the area, I do my exercises - desensitization exercises....I am at my wits end. I suffer from severe panic disorder, and don't take any medications so having surgery is not an option for me. I find this a daily battle, it's always on my mind. Yeah... The only time it didn't hurt was on valentines day, where we had a spa beforehand.....I guess it made all the tissues soft or something. Would like to know how you're getting on. x

Ah I feel (felt) your pain!

With me it was granulation tissue (basically raw flesh that won't heal) at the episiotomy site, it even still stung peeing at about 14 weeks.

It was cauterized which hurt a bit but took about 5mins and was absolutely fine about 2 days later.

Could well be granulation tissue, which can be cauterised fairly quickly and easily.