Second(or more) timers if you were induced how did child care work?

[CuppaSarah]

My sil is due in a few months time to have her second child. We're going to be looking after her ds for her so she can focus on the job. Her 2yo ds has never been away for the night and sil isn't keen for him to yet. So she's burying her head in the sand about how its going to work. So I wanted gaugue how people worked the child care if they were induced second time round. That way I can come to her with a realistic, solid plan and hopefully save her some stress. Her dp is on the scene and obviously wants to attend the birth, but will be about a bit before labour gets into the swing of things and after the main event I assume.

Dc1 stayed with pil whilst I was in hospital having Dc2. They were used to having DC1 though and DC1 was used to staying with them so wasn't an issue. Can you suggest maybe a practice run with your nephew staying with you for a night or two beforehand. Maybe one with his mum there to reassure everyone and then once on his own? I'm sure it will all be fine!

i went in on my own and Dh only visited for the first 48ish hrs. My DM was at our house from this point. Then at 10pm when they took me to delivery suite for arm and syntocin dh came in. Ds was born that night and dh was home again before she woke up.

I went in to the hospital and DH came when it was all over for both DC2 & DC3. I had a pal as birth partner and she went home to mind DC whilst DH nipped up for an hour both times.
Suited us perfectly.

Mil had mine but they're used to going so wasn't really an issue. Suggest as other pp said that your nephew has a few practice runs staying at your house, it's an anxious time for the dc they know something is going on they're worried about the arrival if a new baby and what that means for them also they wonder why mum is away for such a long time.
My ds 5 was quite fretful when I went In to be induced I wouldn't like to think he was fretful with unfamiliar surroundings too.

Everyone's thinking the same things as me. I have been asking a lot but she keeps shooting the idea of him down. As he still cosleeps I offered them both a bed together and a night off mum duties, but she isn't at all keen her Ds doesn't have a concept of what's going on as he is so young, so I'm worried about how he'll cope without his mummy.

I was thinking of suggesting her dp and ds stay at home during the nights. With me on standby to get him to the hospital then go home with their ds in case labour gets going. But I don't think she'll go for it. I wouldn't selfish or unreasonable to suggest this would I?

I have recruited mil who lives 4 hours away to help during, but as she is so far away he isn't familiar with her either. I'm keen to make sure my nephew is happy and not stressed when he brother arrives, but don't want any stress for sil either.

My dc1 was 2.7 when dc2 was due. She had never had a night away from me. A couple of months before I was due she had a trial overnight with her GPs. She was fine with it. For the actual birth she would need to stay a couple of nights. In the run up, I explained what would happen and made it an adventure for her. I bought her a special 'going away bag' pink and covered in peppa pig to make it all the more special. When the time came she was absolutely fine. However, she didn't co-sleep, which may have made things easier.

Oh, and I found the book 'I'm a big sister' (Joanna Cole) brilliant for helping to explain what was coming (they also do a big brother version).

They wouldn't let the partners stay on the induction ward in my local hospital unless the mother was in active labour.
What do you think her plan is? In an ideal world?

*stay overnight

Our hospital let's partners stay overnight during induction. Ideal world I think her plan is, we pick up my newphew. She goes to hospital has the baby we bring her son in to visit each day for a while then go home and have him overnight. I do get the impression her head is firmly in the ground about the fact her son may find having a new sibling and being away from his parents really difficult. Obviously he could surprise us and take it really well, but I'm a worst cast scenario planner.

I don't blame my sil for being a bit blindly optimistic either, she's got plenty on her plate and if that's what works for her that's fine. I'm just making sure I plan worst case so she doesn't need to think about it iyswim.

My older boys went to PIL but they were fine. I missed them more than they missed me! With DS3 there was a lot of waiting around so PIL brought DS2 to visit while DS1 was at school. I did a lot of walking round the corridors pushing him in the buggy to try and get things going. DS3 was born that evening and PIL brought DS1 and DS2 back the next afternoon. With DS5 the induction was an emergency so DS3 and DS4 came to the hospital with us. When it was time to pick up DS1 and 2 from school DH met PIL at school and handed over DS3, DS4 and the suitcase. DS5 was born in the early hours of the next morning by C-section. DH went home, got a few hours sleep and then picked up the older DS's.

I was induced with my third. My older 2 stayed at home to keep them in their own beds because like your sil, they'd never been away from me, my mum was with them. She got the house ready for my return. I was alone at the hospital and for the birth because the dc's father had left me. It was scary but empowering. Luckily I had the baby on the same day as my induction began, it was an early start in the morning and after 2 pessaries I had her at 22:06 the same night. My labour was very fast once it established. I was home the next day as soon as the paediatrician had given her the ok.

I was induced with my 5th. My mum came and stayed at our house as it was easier and at least familiar surroundings for our 21 month old. It helped that we had an unexpected practice run a few weeks earlier when I was admitted to labour ward in pre-term labour. It was unsettling for DC4 but not un-do-able for my mum.