giving birth without partner/mother

[nataliejc77]

Hi
Has anybody given birth on their own? My ex has decided that I am on my own and due to their behaviour I have lost all of my friends. My family really only consists of my mum and brother who lives abroad. And I need my mum to look after my son. I have thought about a doula but i think a stranger would be worse than being on my own. So ladies, have you given birth alone and do you have any tips for me.

You have all been so helpful as i have been so worried that I would be the only one who has been through this. I guess pregnancy hormones are behind some of my fears. I feel so much better and more positive. And similarly to many of you my birth partner the first time was really little use. So I can do this

You can & you will be amazing

I did a course for second time mums and the teacher suggested that you ask for a student midwife who will stay with you throughout if you want them to. I thought this was good advice. Modern life is such that many of us don't have people to call upon on the middle of the night to come and sit with existing children so going it alone, maybe not through choice, is more common than you think!

I was incredibly lucky to give birth to ds (1st dc) in our local midwifery unit.(Now closed down )

I was asked right from the start did I have someone or did I want the midwife to be my birthing partner so I said yes to that.

I was lucky that I got the most amazing one of the team that night though they were all lovely but she was the best. I still love her. Things got a bit hairy. I was terrified and in so much pain but she was amazing and admitted a little later how scared she'd been at one point - dropping heartrate, ambulance waiting downstairs to whip us off to the nearest hospital but she never showed this at the time. She appeared so confident and able. I remember her kissing me on my forehead which felt lovely :-) We also managed to have a laugh at some points!! Like when she took me for a wee and in my pethadined up state I reeled off tons and tons of loo roll and she just asked me calmly "do you really need all that?"

I was so lucky to have her. In a unit where we were the only ones there - and a few support staff. But. If that were not able to be your case ie if you're giving birth on a maternity ward where the midwife is maybe dealing with other cases too and is not able to be with you 100% of the time then I think that would be too hard and it would be worth taking somebody with you for a bit of company. Somebody who won't drive you mad and who you may be able to have a bit of a giggle with.

I wish you all the best xxxx

First Labour i had ex dp and his DM, second one i had exDP, 3rd one he had pissed off somewhere after an argument and turned phone off, Previous 2 i had gone way over. Went into labour a week early, a few hrs after he turned phone off with DC3 but couldn't contact him, my DM had to watch the other 2 so i turned up at the maternity ward alone raging. After being in a while i got bored and ended up texting my friend who said i always wanted to see a birth, im on my way in a taxi. So for the first half i was there alone, second half i was with a friend. He turned up the next day and got the shock of his life walking into 3 DC.

I gave birth with my husband and doula there (plus hospital staff). I felt very comfortable with the doula because we had gotten to know each other well during our sessions. It was great to have someone there just focused on my comfort. Another great alternative would be an older friend who has grown children. I had someone in mind that had been there and done that with four births of her own and she would have been a great birth partner.