sex after episiotomy - agony

[herdwicksheep]

Apologies if TMI. I had my first DC 9 months ago, I had a forceps delivery and episiotomy, battled infections in my stitches for the first month after DS was born. DH and I DTD when DS was around 6 weeks (following my GP check where she said it was fine) and it was incredibly painful, and I bled. Went to GP and she said pain was due to scar tissue and to rub olive oil () on it daily. I have done, and 9 months in sex is horrendously painful, I keep hoping that it will ease up but it is no less painful than it was the first time, in fact sometimes it's worse. I still bleed every time following and then deal with 3/4 days of being in agony.

DH is being incredibly understanding but it's so frustrating!

Does anyone have similar experience or any advice? I'm at my wits end.

Please go back to the GP. I was similar at 6 weeks. But things should improve by 9 months. You might need some help or physio.

Definitely go back to your GP
There is no way you should still be struggling this long after giving birth.

Back to the gp - google Fenton's repair.

I had scar tissues cut away and restitched under GA
I was very worried but it was nothing and I healed quickly

I had a ventouse delivery and a tear plus episiotomy when dd was born 8 months ago and I'm still finding sex very painful. The last time was tried was last week and I had to stop. My dh is undrrstanding too but it is really frustrating.

I had a smear a couple of months ago and the nurse checked my stitches then and said it had all healed OK so I don't know what the problem is .

You poor thing defo get that checked. I have no advice but just an interest as I had a forceps delivery and epi two weeks ago and am keeping a close eye on my wound. Which forceps did you have? I had mid forceps.

Yes I had this. Don't put up with it. It's when inside skin is stitched up on outside. I had fentons. Gayness see this all the time. Took three goes to sort it. Don't give up till u are pain free.

Not gayness! Gynaecologists!

I had a Fenton's procedure after a third degree tear and episiotomy, as 10 months on things still weren't right. The surgery was quick, the recovery easy and it sorted things out. Definitely go back to your GP.

I'm still in pain after 2 years, mentioned it to midwives/gps but no-one seemed to care. I thought it was just something I'd have to get used to! My scarring is quite thick and the skin is really tight.
I'll have a look into getting it sorted once I'm over this pregnancy. It's nice to know it's possibly not something I have to live with forever! :)

I had a similar experience of pain after epi and no medical professional giving a sh*t. "normal" followed by a change of subject was just one of the responses I received.

I could sum it up as 'Yes my VB wrecked my most intimate area and ruined my sex life and no-one cared when I asked for help'. I was treated like, "well, duh, of course that's how it is now; you had a VB and epi".

I couldn't mentally let myself have sex for a long time after. Then realised it was easier (on mind and body) with loads of lube. I could only allow myself to get in the mood with lube ready and waiting then applied generously. It's now 5.5 years [yes, that's not a typo] since the epi/horrendous VB experience and I've dropped the absolute need for lube paranoia in the last 12 months. The pain on sitting down for sustained time and heavy ache when walking for long periods faded over the last 12-18 months too.

Sorry, probably TMI and not what you wanted to hear....

herdwicksheep, you sound like yours is worse than mine, but i had bleeding, pain after sex etc for 6 months; ended up being cauterised by doc, and finally things cleared up. There's obv something going on still; if the doc can't help you, push for a gynae referral.

I had this and went to see a consultant after about a year. She recommended using dilators and said that they could remove some scar tissue via an operation, if that didn't work. In the end I figured I could sort myself out with vibrators and very gentle sex with plenty of lube. The more sex we had, the better it got. Did take a while, DS was about 18 months before it got better.

Sorry you're going through this but thank you for starting the thread. 6 months post birth/ episiotomy here and sex is still horribly painful. Again dh is understanding but it's hard for him too as obviously wants sex but doesn't want to hurt me. I thought it was another of those post natal delights that is normal but nobody talks about ... now I know it's not I'll go and see someone if no improvement soon.

Are you also breastfeeding op? I found sex extremely painful until I stopped breastfeeding. I had a smear at 10 weeks post baby and it was unbearable agony, and I had a flipping emcs so was totally confused!