How and what do they actually do during internal exams?

[Bex174]

I'm at a stage where I'm considering birth plans - twins so no idea if c-section or natural as yet, but I'm trying to think of all my preferences for both well ahead so I'm totally informed whatever happens.

I've been reading some threads and there seems to be a general consensus that internal exams can really hurt and be rather excruciating, sometimes more so than the birth? With many opting not to have them?

When I looked up what an internal exam is, it just says a midwife/doctor pops two fingers up your vagina to feel for your cervix and that it should all be only around a fingers length in? That doesn't sound too bad to me, I mean sometimes (TMI possibly!) my other half pops 2 fingers in when we're having some fun and it doesn't really hurt as such...

So I'm thinking I must be missing something here and maybe something else happens that causes the pain?

Just so I don't have a 'surprise' when the time comes, would someone mind letting me know what an internal exam actually is?

I absolutely hate the idea of someone fiddling around down there and was dreading these.. Not from an embarrassment point of viee, but a fear of pain. I didn't have any until the end.. My gyno who did it first was so rough, she just shoved her whole hand in and twisted, then was surprised when I was screaming out and trying to close my legs! It made me feel like I was abnormal to complain.
Then when I was at start of labour, I had 3 more by different women and they were so gentle, it was such a different experience! They talked me through it, relaxed me, went slowly and were positioned at my feet so the angle was better. So if you do try for a vaginal birth, just stress how nervous you are and want them to go slowly, it makes all the difference
I ended up with a C section though so thankfully next time I won't need any examinations!

I only had one, it was uncomfortable but mostly due to having to lie on my back for it and also as she was rooting around a lot trying to make certain that I was indeed fully dilated. I'm very glad I let them do it, I hadn't realised I was actually pushing and as I'd only just arrived at hospital they hadn't realised either. He would have been born in the toilet otherwise! They said it shouldn't be done during a contraction, more painful I think. I would definitely request one when I get to hospital if I ever another.