Needle phobic DH at the birth

[Stillyummy]

Does anyone else have experience of a needle phobic birthing partner? My husband is the kind of needle phobic where he sits like a lamb if he has an injection but can't help but faint. If he sees needles on tv then he feels sick and dizzy and would faint if he didn't look away.

Unfortunately if he does faint then his blood pressure crashes so low that he takes a long time to come round. This tends to make medical staff understandably concerned and they want to send him to be checked out. Not ideal when I want him there with me.

So far the "plan" is to put in my notes and birth plan that he has a Vasovagal reaction to needles, make the staff aware that he is needle phobic and ask them to warm him if they are to be used so he can leave the room/look away.

It was all going well until I found out there is a high chance I will need a drip in labour. With this in mind I have decided to take a bandage or handkerchief to cover it.

Goodness knows what we will do if I need a epidural!

I have also found that the midwifes I have spoken to say he is over reacting/they will step over him. This makes me feel quite upset as we are trying tonnage the problem, not make a fuss.

So does anyone have any suggestions on what else we can do to manage the situation or any experience of similar. If you have experience of this, how did it go and were the midwifes happy to help you manage the issue?

are you a low risk pregnancy? I think in your position i would plan a calm water birth to keep the pair of you as relaxed as possible. is the drip because you may be induced? i am petrified of needles and had a drop before- I looked away in insertion but the actual drip tube i managed to cope with.

once baby is born, if you require stitches you will both have plenty of warning for this and so can take appropriate action. I think the only thing to worry is if you have an emergency c section.. he may have to wait outside as they won't be able to necessarily 'protect' him in this period of time.

Perhaps he's not the best person to support you? You are the one giving birth, you don't want to be worried about him!

Needle phobic DHs aren't uncommon and ive certainly known a few blokes faint, even ones who didn't have a needle phobia. It gets hot, they get tired, don't eat much......

I'm always happy to warn people when needles, etc are to be expected so they can leave the room if necessary. It's true that we do tend to step over fainted partners and carry on. I've dragged the odd one out of the operating theatre by their feet! As long as they haven't banged their head we just leave them to come round in their own time.

I had to have my epidural for my second c-section on my own because dh couldn't be in the room with me.

It was no problem. He just sat outside and was called in when the needles were out of sight.

The hospital staff were completely unphased by this and perfectly accommodating.

But Viva, that's exactly what the OP says that the midwives say to her and she's not happy about it. She says, "Unfortunately if he does faint then his blood pressure crashes so low that he takes a long time to come round."

Dragging him out by his feet isn't exactly what he needs!

OP, do you think he's the best person to be with you? Could your mum be with you and he could just come in when the baby's born? Do you worry what he'd be like when the baby was actually being born?

The drip is for antybiotics (strep b). Beforewe found out about that the plan was just water and gass and air and grit my teeth.
I know he is useless but he is my person and the only person I would consider having there with me.

Strangely he is fine with gore. I have seen him deal with pints of blood comming out of a wound before and he was amazing!

I thought the OP was saying she's upset at the suggestion they're over reacting/making a fuss.

I think it's hard for midwives to say what will happen in such a situation as it depends very much what stage of labour it happens in. If it happens when the baby is actually been born the midwives need to concentrate on the woman and baby and anyone who's fainted will be ignored/delt with later. As long as it's felt they're safe which 99% of the time someone who's fainted is.

He might suprise you on the day.

My dh actually came very close to fainting when I was having my epidural sited. I was on the edge of the bed leaning forward while he supported me and he suddenly let go and sat down. Thankfully the midwife caught me before I fell off the bed.

He was fine after that including in the emergency section.

Would it make him feel better if he knows that once the drip has been placed the needle is removed and the only thing left in the hand is a flexible little plastic tube?

The tube would unfortunately count as a trigger. I am shore we will get through but maybe I will need to ban him from leaving a chair.

your idea of wrapping something round your hand will work as long as it doesn't frustrate you.. my drip cords wound me up at times in labour as I wanted to pace the room so I wonder if you need to find something to wrap around your hand rather than gently place!

keep discussing it with him so that you and he both know you may be going into an anxious situation but that you'll fully support one another- unfortunately the midwife is there to help you deliver baby, not necessarily support DH which may be why they're being unsympathetic to you.

I understand you wanting DH there, i would b the same. a drip and gas and air may be how it turns out and DH will be okay. it's difficult as labour plans rarely go to plan buy as long as it's on your notes hopefully it will go as smoothly as possible.

Make sure he eats and drinks.

My hubby is not great with needles at all - big challenge to get him to a dentist - whereas I am fine with it as have had thyroid condition & regular bloodtests since age 6 (one of my sisters is a type 1 diabetic since age 5 as well). Hoping that having water birth (am 39 weeks today) with gas & air will negate problem, but if not due to needing more pain relief / caeserean etc., then hoping that if he looks away, goes out of room for bit he'll be fine. Def not as bad as your hubby, but really not his favourite thing to witness - he is good in crisis but would be hopeless if had to give birth himself / got a serious illness as once also refused to get in ct scanner when he had head injury...

Like Viva says he may well surprise you on the day. I've known women amazed by how well their seriously needle phobic partners have coped on the day; one even helped out in an emergency section by holding some equipment for the anaesthetist while he cannulated, and he didn't even flinch.
How does your dh feel about it all? Is there anything you can do/watch/read together to prepare him? I agree that out of sight, out of mind is an excellent idea, but I'm just thinking that maybe if there's something that can change the way he sees needles and drips he might cope with it a bit better. Poor guy! I know exactly what Viva means, practically we do sometimes have to ignore a birth partner's plight in order to deal with the situation at hand but we don't forget how hard it must be for them too.

Hope for the best and plan for the worst. I'd try to have a back up available incase things become more medical than you hope. Nobody can promise you that they will not let your DH see a needle and if he does faint there may not be the time/resources to help him.

What stage are you at? Can you ask for a strep b retest nearer the time? Also I saw someone on here was getting antibiotics through vaginal douche instead of iv for a streb b home birth. Is that something to consider? Of course everyone is going to have to cope with eventualities as they come up, but for things which can be planned for it might be worth looking at alternatives.

I am no midwife, and don't know what antibiotics are given for strep b, but most iv antibiotics I come across are given over 30-60 minutes, so not continuos, so no need to exclude him the whole time?

You could try covering the site but midwife will want to monitor the site closely as they commonly get inflamed, or the tube becomes dislodged from the vein.

My DH is severely needle phobic, had 2 births with no interventions luckily so didn't have to deal with him hitting the deck while in labour!

I understand you wanting your partner there. But there isn't much slack in the system. They don't have the resources to support him other than by removing him. Do you have family, a friend or maybe a doula if the worst happens. I know that you want to think about him, but honestly you also need to think about you.

A lot of ftms find they want an epidural. IF you do, what will happen. Ok, he can leave while it goes in. But you will have a canuela in your hand.

I think you need to hope for the best but plan for the alternatives

DH is exactly the same and to be quite honest he just had to put his big boy pants on and deal with it - don't forget that you're the priority here, not him, and if you need pain relief you shouldn't feel obliged to deny yourself it because of someone else's comfort.

I was induced and all sorts of fun and games and any time a needle had to come out he disappeared behind the curtain and came back when it was safe. I eventually had an EMCS and the anaesthetist had to inject me with something and accidentally waved the needle around while he was talking - DH was suddenly on the floor he was fine; the theatre assistant got him a glass of lemonade and he sat on the floor for a bit.

The key thing we agreed before labour was that under no circumstances was he to be a martyr and try and stay for any needles - no-one needed him fainting and adding to the situation. I also had it in my birth plan - but no-one to my knowledge goes "surprise! Hypodermic needle, w00t!" anyway.

Mine's also fine with gore, and is a first aider of all things! I'm the opposite - hard as nails when it comes to needles, terrible with guts.