Stepchild present during labour?

[Ruthiebabes76]

Hi everyone, I am new to mumsnet but thought I would post as I am feeling totally stressed out and don't know who to talk to.

I am due this Friday with my first baby. Up until now, I have been very chilled out about everything and my partner and I have done a yoga workshop and been feeling really great about the birth and my birth plan.

However, today my partner announced that as school holidays start on Friday (my due date) he needs to have his daughter from a previous relationship (aged 11) for the first week of her school holidays. I am now in a complete flat spin about what this is going to entail.

Don't get me wrong, I love his daughter and she is a part of our life but I don't want her there when I go into labour. I don't want her seeing me in pain or distress and I certainly don't want to be worrying about whether she is ok. I know it sounds selfish but I also want my partners undivided attention when things start happening and I don't want him thinking about her or having to deal with her needs.

The birthing unit is 30 mins away and daughters mother lives over an hour away so it is not as though everything is close at hand. My partner is being very laid back saying that I will have ages when things start so he will be able to take her home once he has dropped me at the hospital but this will leave me there on my own which terrifies me. And he also apparently has a crystal ball as he keeps saying that the baby will be late as it is my first so the week's childcare will be over before things start happening which frankly is just making me a bit angry!

I am now having a bit of a panic about it all, which is a shame as up until now I have been really relaxed and excited. Now I just feel stressed and tense about the whole business and really quite panicky.

Help me please ladies!!

Hope you've managed to sort things out to your satisfaction op. How are you feeling? Good luck

Thank you all so much everyone for your help and advice. Today we sat down and had a big talk about it and have come up with a game plan! DD is coming to us for the weekend and her mother has been briefed that at any point she gets the call she will have to drive down and pick her up, either from our house, from the hospital or from wherever! As it is the weekend, she has no excuse for taking ages, so hopefully this will all work out fine. And then next week alternative arrangements can be made for childcare. And of course, if the baby comes Monday or Tuesday, we can still do the rest of the week.

So all in all, I am feeling much happier. Thank you so much for your support. It meant a lot to know that I wasn't over reacting and expecting to be mollycoddled and it gave me a lot of strength to actually be able to ask my other half for support - as rooty very wisely picked up, I am not very good at advocating for myself!

So thank you everyone!!! Xx

great plan! Another thought, do you have any nice neighbours? I would go sit in my neighbours house if they went in labour in the middle of the night until the mum could arrive, stop having ot wake up the DSD and take her anywhere. (That assumes you're ok with your DP's Ex being in the house without you there).

Many 'middle of the night' or short term care plans for DC2/3/4 involve someone sitting in the house for an hour or so until the main carer for the older sibling can arrive.

Ah good news. Glad you've got a plan agreed. Now you just need a few contractions! Not long now...

Thanks everyone, I can't tell you how much your support has meant to me. I've never been one for forums and chats before but your advice and support has been phenomenal.

And by the way, as a nice little bonus, I think DP appreciated me showing a bit of vulnerability and asking for his help and support - he has been in a fantastic mood ever since the chat!

Hope you all have a great rest of the day, and thank you once again xx

Hooray! Sending you lots of good wishes for a calm birth.

I can see why you are stressed out, I think it's totally acceptable for the mother to make arrgments to come pick her up quickly. Must she visit that exact week? Surely there can be some flexibility.while it's very likely you may be late or things will take ages what if your partner takes long time getting home from work then to drive daughter then get back to you?

I really wount want the stress of being on my own or having the child there possible for hours and hours!