Help! I don't want all this medical intervention...

[MotherofOne]

Even as I'm writing this I feel quite suprised because this feels so out of character for me... Basically, I like to think I'm intelligent, confident articulate woman, who normally knows her own mind and speaks up for my beliefs. However I am now 26 weeks pregnant, and am finding that my maternity 'care' is making me increasingly frustrated, upset and emotional and I don't know what to do!

My first pregnancy was a catalogue of disasters/traumas & problems: induced at 42 weeks, pethidine which I didn't want but was persuaded to have; suspected CPD (big baby/small pelvis); failed ventouse; emergency caesarian; 'big baby' (10lb 3); scar infection; postnatal depression.
I am desperate to try to avoid a repeat and had discussed with my MW that I'd like to try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Caesarian) this time.
All was going reasonably OK until yesterday when I had to see the Consultant at the hospital as part of the 'special care' programme I'm supposedly on since I had complications last time. Anyway, didn't see the Consultant himself (which pi@**ed me off since he was a distant colleague of a friend of mine which I thought might help) but some junior-looking female registrar who talked at me like I was a 5-year old!
The low down is: I want minimal intervention as I really believe this is partly why I ended up with my last experience:

• would like to try a VBAC
• would like to try a water birth (hospital has a pool)
• I instinctively believe movement /position is VERY important in labour (not least since last time I was virtually strapped to a bed, flat on my back with a monitor on and told not to move as it 'affects the heartbeat trace' (!)

Basically she was incredibly patronising and more or less said:

• I only had a 50% chance of achieving a VBAC - implied 'why bother?'
• I would only be allowed to 'try' for about 4 hours and then they will insist on a C-section
• They will want to do continuous foetal monitoring therefore I will not be 'allowed' a water birth or freedom of movement. And they want me to have all sorts of extra tests - Glucose Tolerance Test to check I'm not developing gestational diabetes (which I can understand and accept as valid) but also extra scans at 36 weeks to try to predict the baby's size (although she admitted herself there can be up to a 30% margin of error) (Why bother? - I thought) I was so choked up with anger and emotion I could barely speak, and in fact as soon as we left the room I burst into tears (poor dh didn't know what to do!) I know why the Med Profession recommends such actions, but I have also read a lot about the risks/benefits of my various options, and I simply fundamentally disagree with their approach. But I'm so emotionally caught up in this since it's me/my baby at stake that I can't engage in a rational argument and debate about it. Anyone else been in the same boat? And what did you do?

It seems as though high tech is the favoured approach for VBAC. According to my consultant (his underling anyway)they go for continual monitoring (though apparently it can be rigged so you can stand up). No chance of a water birth incidently- not that I specifically wanr one but I would like to be able to move around. I am not ready to have a battle just yet, but will try some of the recommended sites for ammunition.

Dh is mystified, he thinks that as it was all so horrible last time that I should just go for an elective CS. It was precisely because it was all so horrible last time, I would like to try and do it in a less hi-tec way this time. I am not sure I can do much more until I have more of an idea about the likely size. Its all very very depressing.

Thanks for all the advice and links everyone. By way of an update, I thought I'd let you know that after lots of reading, thinking and raiding of piggy banks I've hired an Independent Midwife who specialises in VBACS for the rest of my pregnancy and birth and postnatal care. What this means is that I've effectively 'opted out' of my existing GP/MW & hopsital care, and she and I will make the decisions together about what future tests/scans I have and ultimately about where/how I'd like to labour etc.
All I can say is that it's been the most tremendous relief to know that I now have the dedicated support of someone I can build a relationship with, discuss all my thoughts and fears etc and make decisions together based on facts and experience.
I may yet end up having another caesarian, but if I do, at least I'll know that this time around I did everything in my power to avoid it, and that it would therefore really be a medical necessity.
My MW has lent me some excellent books about VBAC & Caesarians etc so if anyone else is thinking about going down the same route let me know and I'll post titles here.
I'll let you know what happens! Thanks again for the support here.

Motherofone - I would love to get the book titles from you.
I too had a cs first time round after problems with non-progression and various other things. I'm now 16 weeks pregnant with no. 2, and determined not to have another cs. Luckily I don't (as yet!) feel too pushed around by my lcal health care. They have told me that I can't have a water birth (which I had wanted last time, and was keen to try for again), and that they will want to do constant monitoring during this labour, but they are being very supportive on my determination to try for a natural birth this time round. Ayway, I would like to read up a bit more on this situation.

Motherofone, it sounds like you have taken a good step forward. I hope that you feel part of whatever does happen next.

I was talking to 2 ex-pat mothers on Saturday who both tried for vbac for their second children in Sweden. Both were left until 43 weeks: one did get to 10cm but the baby failed to descent and had a section. She was heartily glad of this by then and had a big girl of over 10 pounds. The other went into full contractions for a day but no dilation, was sent home, came back to hospital no further progression, went to the lou and diliated 10 cm in the next 45 mins, an hour before she was due to be induced.

I know it's very anecodotal information but it was nice to hear of 2 women, both pretty pleased with their outcomes, on the same evening. I hope all goes well for you.

Motherofone, I'm soooo jealous! I think you've made a really good decision and I shall start hoarding now for an Independent MW now..............if only I could persuade him indoors that 3 kids is a good idea!

MO1 - glad to hear that you have managed to regain control. Hope all goes well for you, but do want to say that you mustn't cane yourself if you do end up having a c section. They aren't the end of the world - the most important thing is that you and your child are delivered safely. I hope you get the birth you want, but if not hang on to that thought.

Motherofone, a good friend of mine recently chose to have an independent midwife provide her with care throughout her pregnancy - though she did also keep in touch with her GP and local maternity unit, who knew the situation and were willing to provide emergency backup if needed. When it turned out that the baby was breech, the IM and the hospital agreed that my friend could embark on labour at home, and go in for a section if necessary. She laboured at home in a birthing pool with her partner holding her all day, then in the evening it stalled, she felt certain that nothing more was going to happen spontaneously, and they decided to go in and have the section. It turned out that not only was the baby breech, but the cord was wrapped three times round her neck, so the section was really medically inevitable. They were discharged into the care of the IM 24 hours later, and have thrived ever since!

The point of this story is that my friend feels she had an extremely positive birth experience, despite ending up with a section after a long labour, because she really put herself at the heart of the process, and had a great sense of agency, supported and fostered by the IM and her partner. She's very very happy about the whole thing, and would definitely make the same choices again. I hope it all works out equally well for you.

Tetley - I'm sorry - I've realised that I never posted those book titles. I hope your pregnancy is going OK and you are getting some support from your midwife etc.
I'm afraid I don't have the full references, as I have given many of the books back to my MW now, but I'm sure you would find them on Amazon - some of the ones I found most helpful re VBAC were:

The VBAC Companion
Silent Knife (about C-section prevention/ VBAC myths etc)
Obstetric Myths vs. Research Realities (This one was excellent for arming yourself with details of all the studies/ research to refute arguments as to why many medical interventions/obstetric practices are unnecessary or even dangerous).

Quick update re my situation - since engaging the Independent Midwife everything has been going fine - I feel great, baby fine & growing well, and am planning a home water birth, with transfer to hospital in event of any emergency. I've also registered with another different local (30 mins away)hospital which has a much more positive attitude to non-interventionist natural childbirth and will go there instead of my original one if I should need to abandon plans for the home birth in the run up to the birth.
I'm now almost 37 weeks, so I guess all I can say is watch out on the 'new babies this week' etc threads soon!