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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

2nd time mums - birthing/labour question!

27 replies

munz · 26/10/2006 11:56

how was your second labout in relation to your first?

I ask cos with Joey I had an absolute terrible time in labour real complications, blood transfuisions 5 days in hospital, epidural, his heart rate stopped, vontouse delivery in the end after being cut - internal the day after I had him cos apparently i'd had an infection turned out to be an over entusiactic doctor - who wondered why I was so tense and sore?? anyhow

if I have a second the thought of going into labour again is terrifying me - the PG bit and NB baby etyc was straightforward enough, boy had collic but we coped, it's just the labour bit.

Guess i'm wanting you all to say no your second was brillinat! (i'm not PG btw)

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Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 11:57

also was the child easier at all - I knwo each baby's differnt, but joey at times is a real challenge for me brillinat and good as gold for everyone else but sometimes horrid for me.

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foxtrot · 26/10/2006 12:16

ooh, poor you, no wonder you are worried.
FWIW, i had horrible 1st time, pre-eclampsia, induction, emergency c-section, couldn't leave hospital for a week because of raised BP. Second time, VBAC with absolutely no problems, ditto third time.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 26/10/2006 12:18

Jessi - induces, 3 days in hospital, drips and monitors, awful

Becky - BLISS... completely different, so relaxed, natural and easy!!!

lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:22

failed induction first

ARM
syntocinon
diamporphine
epidural
failure to progress
emergency c.s
4 yrs of PND

second time

spontaneous natural labour
spontaneous rupture of membranes....2 foot fountain shooting across the room!!
gas & air , a smidge of pethidine
3 - 10 cm in 3 1/4 hours
pushed LO out in 30 minutes...was disappointed it didn;t last longer!!!
teeny graze, perineum intact!

pS i did have 15 hours of totally ineffective contractions due to DD being posterior...when she turned...all went off like a rocket!!

Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 12:24

(sorry heart dropped not stopped)

god lulu.

I think we will go for a second (know we will, DH is already saying it's up to me but i'm just crapping it about the labour bit. )

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lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:27

do it Munz!!

i think for me, a lot of it was BELIEVING i could do it...that i could give birth..did so much research when pregnant...and it worked..got the best birth I could have hoped for...!

LadyUndetrun · 26/10/2006 12:28

blimey lulu! one extreme to the other! glad the second was so lovely for you

fwiw, mine were all pretty easy, but the second was easiest of all. and he was a total breeze to bf from about 30 seconds old - unlike the other 2 who took some time and (pain on my part) to get going in that department.

good luck if you do decide to!

ps - you could look into that hypno birthing and ayurvedic birth method stuff. all sounds wonderfully tranquil to me...

Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 12:31

will prob be in april time next year so we'll have a good 7 months or so here b4 potentially moving again , as i don't want to move house with a NB baby.

how have u all found their disposition compared to the first (not that u should compare your children like that)

btw - main reason i'm thinking like this instead of not after my finacial threads is as we've come/coming into about £4K over the next coupld of months we can pay off all our surpless debts and be pretty much sorted out money wise so that's why i'm thinkin the new year would be a good time.

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LadyUndetrun · 26/10/2006 12:31

absolutely lulu - all about belief. i was v lucky to be at a fab birth unit all about active natural labour and knew i was taken care of extremely well, so could forget about anything else and concentrate on listening to and responding to my own body/instincts etc.

by no 3, had it down to pat so did it at home. barely batted an eyelid

LadyUndetrun · 26/10/2006 12:33

munz - daft question im afraid. absolutely no way to guess what a child not even concieved will be like, disposition-wise!! suggest a wait and see approach to that one

Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 12:35

see I had the epidural and was then only allowed to lay down - which i'm sure was half the problem cos they wouldn't even let me kneel or anything - I went from 0-5 CM in about 3 hours and then from 5-10 took from 6pm to midnight then 2 hours of pushing only for him not to move and need the vontose cos of his heart rate. i'm sure if I was more upright things would have been better but they kept saying as i'd had the epi I couldn't do antyhign bar lay there.

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foxtrot · 26/10/2006 12:37

Do the first births generally tend to be the worst? I think it is because you are so tense and have little idea what to expect, despite all the reading, classes etc. Second time around I felt much more in control because i had experienced some of it already.

lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:37

where you moving to munz

my kids are similar in many ways, but having a boy and a girl..can;t really compare

they are lovely ..just like me!

Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 12:37

lol, I know lady! but my trail of thought was typically is the second child calmer/easier then the first that's prob a better way of putting it! lol. the boy's just constantly ont eh go - I forgotten what it's like to sit with a cuppa and actually drink it all without him needing me to get up!

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lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:40

munz - lying down is not the best position
am convinced my first birth stalled because i had an epidural at 2 cms...........and was confined to a bed..

despite all the research that shows giving one before established labour can slow or stop labour....

wish a lovely midwife had suggested g&a and a bit of moving..as much as i could with a synto drip & continual monitoring..

agree wholeheartedly with foxy..first birth can be worse because you don;t really know what to expect..second time...you know!

Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 12:40

not sure yet lulu where eva DH is posted to (we're forces) could well stay here for another 3 years on top of that - which tbh I wouldn't mind at all, althou i'd want a 3 bed house.

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lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:43

come and live near me and i;ll be your birth doula...! hey ho!! my sil moved a week after having her 2nd...eeeeek!

Original poster
munz · 26/10/2006 12:45

eek - no couldn't do that - althou when we move next time i'vew told mum joey's going to her for a week cos he'll be 2.5! lol.

OP posts:
lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:46

that is a good plan!!! i am never moving again..once was enough! i am a terrible wimp though

MaloryTowersTaurean · 26/10/2006 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxtrot · 26/10/2006 12:47

lulu are you a doula?! [impressed emoticon]

pebblemum · 26/10/2006 12:57

With ds1 i had a 22hr labour, waters broke 5am Thursday s1 born 1.45am Friday. It was very slow and by the time i was in the final stages i was just about ready to go to sleep. No major problems just the fatigue.

With ds2 contractions started 3.30am went into hospital 8am ds2 born 8.55am,had waters broke by MW 30mins before birth. More intense as it was quicker but it was also a lot easier. I think it was because i knew what to expect and i was a lot more relaxed. It also may have been due to the fact he was 8days late and i was desperate to get him out.

As for their disposition, i was lucky in that both of my boys were fairly easy babies although ds2 did cry more and ds1 was the greedier one of the two always wanting feeding. It is more now that i notice the differences. Ds1 (9) has always been the quiet placid one, not keen on danger etc. Ds2 is a monster (but in a nice way) As soon as he could stand he found out how to pile his teddies up in his cot so he could slide over the top and escape, by the age of 1 he was trying to jump off of the settee or windowsill, now he is 3 he skateboards down steep hills and tries to climb trees. I cant turn by back for 2sec without him trying something new, and it seems the scarier the better for him. Luckily there have been no accidents but im sure that will come.

Munz, i think you should just bite the bullet and go for it, no one can predict what you next labour will be like or if your next child will be angel or devil but thats part the fun. Im currently expecting no3 and am keeping my fingers crossed for a quick 2hr labour, totally pain free and a placid baby that hardly cries

lulumama · 26/10/2006 12:59

will be soon...finishing the course work in between mnetting & childrearing! aim to become a midwife when the kids are older...am obsessed with pregnancy & birth...!

foxtrot · 26/10/2006 13:02

ooh, good for you lulu. I can't imagine anyone wanting me as their birth partner, i'm far too bossy (so my family tell me ). I do beleive the FEAR is the worst enemy in labour, so a doula is a great idea. (Will you become Luladoula?)

MerlinsBeard · 26/10/2006 13:02

haven't read all the thread but

ds1, lovely pg, 3 hour labour start to finish, gas and air and pethidine, home the next day. angel child, slept thru at 2 weeks easy going, eaily weaned/potty trained/playschooled etc

ds2, achey sicky pg, 1.5 hour labour start to finish, no pain relief, loved every minute , home a few hours after, he was a grumpy baby from word go and we struggled, took me a year to be able to accept being a mother of 2, hadpnd and can see him being the one we find difficult as he already has spectacular tantrums (hes 18 mo)