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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Why is C/Section such a 'dirty word'?

94 replies

Shoeshopper · 25/10/2006 13:45

Hi ... why is it so hard to get a C Section ... I asked at the hospital yesterday and you'd think I asked them for an abortion or something worse.
Is there anywhere one can go to have the choice?
I do realise this is fairly contriversial .. but shouldn't we be able to have a choice?
Also - as a preg Woman, are you allowed to choose the hospital you give birth at?

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Original poster

Shoeshopper · 26/10/2006 13:32

By the way, had an interesting conversation with an independant midwife yesterday after some of the advice from you guys... she also said it has to do with education etc. One thing that I've struggled with is having different people see me each time I go for an apointment... has anyone been with an independent midwife and was the money worth it ... because it's also quite hectic price!

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lulumama · 26/10/2006 13:36

a link to phobia of birth

lots of info on it on the net!! and discuss with your midwife etc...

there are some really excellent breastfeeding mnetters who would be happy to offer you some advice

TikTok
Mears
Hunkermunker

when the time comes

there are breastfeeding counsellors, lactation consultants., la leche league who can help too ...

if you want breastfeed.....give it a go. and there is support if you need it....!

lemonAIIEEE · 26/10/2006 13:39

Oooh boy, is there controvery about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding! In fact, potentially almost more so because it is normally a choice so it's hard to say anything without sounding like you're criticising someone else's parenting choices.

FWIW, I actually didn't have any soreness to speak of (yes, a painful letdown for the first few seconds for the first few weeks, but nothing more than that). The difficult patch was around 5-8 weeks when he was feeding all the time and I was in tears a lot of the time. But I got through that taking it one feed and one day at a time, and am still breastfeeding at 21 months... Really bad soreness that lasts through the whole feed is usually (not always, but usually) associated with a bad latch and can be sorted out by a good breastfeeding counsellor - if you have any problems get to see one as quickly as possible (and post here, there are a couple of really experienced breastfeeding counsellors who regularly post in the Breastfeeding section and who I've seen help dozens of new mothers struggling with establishing breastfeeding).

If you do have a phobia of childbirth that you can't get over, you will be able to get a c/s on the NHS so no need to save unless you really want to go private. Uwila will be able to give you some good advice on the practicalities of that. But you've got plenty of time yet and I think you're right to take time to look into the facts and options first.

lemonAIIEEE · 26/10/2006 13:43

Another option that's cheaper than an independent might be a doula -- they don't have a formal medical role (you'd still see the standard midwives) but do have training and are there to give you a consistent knowledgeable and helpful presence, and to act as an advocate on your behalf. Pupuce could tell you more about that.

Marina · 26/10/2006 13:43

Shoeshopper, everyone I know who's had an independent midwife felt it was worth every penny. It could be well worth investigating if you feel so concerned about attempting a natural delivery (totally common and understandable to be really scared btw).
Elective c-sections can and do go wrong which is why you won't just be offered one.
I had two doctor-recommended electives and suffered annoying, upsetting and different complications from both afterwards . It took me much longer to get over both ops than most of my friends took to recover from natural deliveries.
Do seek out the NCT because that way you will get access to a useful range of classes and support for the birth and your feeding choice.

Original poster

Shoeshopper · 26/10/2006 14:26

Interesting link lulama ... (makes me wonder if somehow subconscioulsy that's why I couldn't concieve for so many years and all the fertility & ivf failed).

Lemonaiiee, what is a Doula and how do I find 'Pupce' (I'm new to MN and wondering if it's a nickname).

I've found a NCT place near me that I've also written off to ... thank goodness there's time (I'm sure thats why we have to be pregnant for so long!) I do have to say that the nausea is begining to lift and it's making things easier.

OP posts:

Pruni · 26/10/2006 14:35

Message withdrawn

lemonAIIEEE · 26/10/2006 15:00

There are two kinds of doula.

The one I was meaning for you is a birth doula. A birth doula will normally meet with you at least a couple of times during the pregnancy, maybe more, plus be available by phone for you to talk to -- the idea is that by the time the birth comes along you've got a good relationship with understanding and trust. Then during labour the doula goes into hospital (or wherever) with you and stays for as long as the labour takes (so none of the shift change problems you get with midwives). She doesn't actually deliver your baby but offers you encouragement, support, reassurance and suggestions on things like breathing, relaxation, movement and positioning. There has been research suggesting that having the support of a doula during labour can cut the rate of caesarean births could be cut by half, the rate of forceps delivery by 40%, and reduce the overall duration of labour by about a quarter. I think birth doulas will make a couple of visits after the birth too to make sure everything is going well. Hiring a birth doula would probably cost around £400-£600.

There are also postnatal doulas who deal with making your life easier after the birth -- a bit like a maternity nurse but less focused on just the baby - a bit like hiring a "mother" for you over the weeks after the birth to come in and give useful advice and practical support.

pupuce is the nickname of a regular Mumsnetter who is a doula herself and knows lots of others, so often gets asked for advice and recommendations.

lemonAIIEEE · 26/10/2006 15:05

P.S. Look at Doula UK for more information on doulas in general.

Original poster

Shoeshopper · 26/10/2006 15:30

Thank you! Seems like a great idea .. am so scared of birth time and the 'nice' options are SO expensive ... that's a bit more like an amount one could save.

OP posts:

Boowila · 26/10/2006 15:40

Don't go private. If you want a section, you CAN get it on the NHS. But you will have to be very firm and thorough in putting your argument forward.

I know someone who got a section because she wanted her husband present and that might not happen if she couldn't put it to a schedule. It was her first child and she had no "medical" complication. Although she's the skinniest little thing I've ever known so I can't really believe she could push anything bigger than a raisin out.

But, of course, if you decide you can conquer your fear and want to go for a vaginal delivery, then that might be what's best. Your choice! No one else's.

lulumama · 26/10/2006 15:58

train & place doulas with mums

a trainee birth doula can only charge expenses up to a maximum of £150 ..what a trainee can lack in actual birth experience can be more than made up for in enthusiasm, compassion and willingness to help!

hope that helps too.... pupuce is regularly around...she is very helpful!

lulumama · 26/10/2006 15:59

madmarchscare · 26/10/2006 16:17

Shoeshopper, my SIL had an elective due to an immense fear and once she had convinced the midwife (was the hardest thing) to make her an appointment to see the consultant it was fairly easily arranged. If the is the route you decide to go down, you may have to stamp your feet a bit but dont be put off.

As it goes I had an ecs and would go through labour x 100 to avoid it a second time round. To add however, I didnt find the recovery that bad.

I hope whatever you decide you get an happy and healthy outcome .

pupuce · 26/10/2006 16:22

Good link Lulumana but the link wasn't working Nurturing Birth trains and places doulas all over the UK and there are no placement fees.

lulumama · 26/10/2006 16:23

welcome pupuce

am rubbish at links!

madmarchscare · 26/10/2006 16:25

so is pupuce .

pupuce · 26/10/2006 16:30

What????

nutcracker · 26/10/2006 16:35

I had to have 3 sections, but I also agree that you shouldn't be able to choose to have one just because you want one.

pupuce · 26/10/2006 16:45

You have got to wonder what world we live in that women are so scared to give birth and would prefer surgery! I am not saying that women should not have sections I just find it incredible that we can scare women so much....
Someone said to me recently that we really have forgotten our mamalian routes.
And I am not suggesting birth is always easy and so on... not at all... but how sad it is that the word we most often use to first describe birth is painful. Are there no other words which we could use ?
Common reaction from women is to tell/re-count their hard labours (with little thought of the possible damage they inflict on others)... note how those who had easy births hardly talk about them - not surprisingly... but then sometimes their positve uplifting stories are received with disbelief or "tree hugging hippie" sort of attitude .
Birth can be empowering, uplifting, amazing... I mean let's face it... get somethng this big out of such a small whole... is something to be proud of !

You ask why is c-section a dirty word... why is vaginal birth such a scary one?

kittythescarygoblin · 26/10/2006 16:53

Well said Pupuce. I think the prob is with the support generally of women during preg and birth. If women had adequate services then the numbers of good, uncomplicated vaginal births would soar.
perhaps they could stop inducing poeple for no good reason, i'm sure inductions are a huge source of vaginal birth failiure and trauma. [angy]

lemonAIIEEE · 26/10/2006 18:08

lulumama · 26/10/2006 18:09

Monkeychopsmummy · 26/10/2006 23:30

Shoeshopper - I'm sorry to hear that you are so scared of birth. I was the complete opposite of you and my main fear when pg was that I would have to have a c-section! I used to skim all the chapters in books dealing with them. I read them all before the birth though as towards the end I though I would feel less out of control if I needed one and had read up on them.

I agree that you will probably be in a different mind set later on in your pregnancy. My mum has always maintained that being so big and uncomfortable in the last few weeks is 'nature's way' of making women less scared about the birth as they just want the baby out!.

I highly recommend hypnobirthing. We did a fear release session in our classes but if you have an extreme fear you might prefer one to one sessions specifically dealing with your fears. It is good that you are dealing with your fears now as it would be a shame for you to spend your whole pregnancy worrying about the birth .

I wish you all the best and hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy, birth and baby (whichever way it comes out!)

Original poster

Shoeshopper · 27/10/2006 10:07

Thanks for the positive comments and for those of you who are so openminded in helping me find routes to get over the fear .. rather than judgement (which only makes it worse).

Pupace, you ask about the fear .. I wonder if it may have something to do with the horror stories that one hears ... it seems if someone has a bad experience they talk about it in detail and if it's good, it's usually flossed over as a great time and that's it.. (not just in birth).

I do agree with you on the support issue and am looking into a Doula because seems like a really good idea.
And will look Hypnobirthing ... another new one to me! (THanks)

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