Homebirth, am I crazy?

[rubberducky87]

Just that really. I'm a first time mum and I really want a homebirth but scared because I've never done it before. Only a few more days until I'm due! My midwife is very supportive but I'm still nervous. Any stories to share??

It sounds to me as though a home birth would be by far the best place for you. I've heard so many horrible stories from women who had terrible first births in hospital that I think that if you find hospitals scary and are low risk that your chances of a healthy birth are far higher at home where you will be able to give birth effectively.

I think many women have terrible first births [in hospital] because first births are notoriously difficult, not because of hospital. If you choose to birth at home you choose to take the chance that you will have a labour and birth that does not require immediate medical intervention. The chances of that happening are small but they are a risk. If you are willing to take that risk for the birth you want then that's your decision. My nan had all her children at home and of the 6 births only one baby had any signs of brain damage - but that's probably one too many for most.

Whenever statistics are quoted about birth and levels of intervention they should really split out first time births from subsequent ones. Lumping them all together means that the statistics from subsequent births (which are easier as your body has stretched already and the mum has already experienced it before) drastically improve the overall outcomes.

I had very little choice for my 1st birth as I was induced at 40+13 (with friends having had stillbirths I was happy to choose this over taking the risk). I discovered that I detested what gas and air did to me. It was like that feeling when you're so drunk the room spins and you're not yourself at all. It made me feel frightened and out of control. I struggle to understand why this is seen as such a good option - I could not imagine it being a 'lovely' birth experience when I was totally off my face. I opted for an epidural which made so much more sense to me. I could interact normally with my husband and the midwife instead of behaving like I'd had too many jagerbombs on a hen night.

Home birth may well be the right choice for you but do ensure you've looked into all eventualities and heard information from many parties, not just home birthing advocates.

Cord prolapse is very rare, and if you happen to be far from a hospital, ie I'm Canada or something, they fill your bladder with salt water and put a 'cork' in it. This keeps the head high till you get to hospital. Never underestimate the strange and bizarre ways emergencies can be dealt with if necessary.

I had my first at home in a pool was wonderful.

The people I know who had first babies at home seem, in general, far, far less traumatised by the ones who had hospital births, including the ones who transferred to hospital for intervention. I think that the one to one continual care makes a big difference, as well the active nature of making the decision to transfer.

'Fill your bladder with salt water and put a cork in it'. Well, some people may be reassured by that....

Herethere I had my 1st at home, no issues/intervention anything perfect baby, all my friends went to hospital and not one of them had anything like that!
You also seem deluded about the level of care, constant care from 2-3 senior midwives is much safer than the women I know who were left for an hour in hospital without medical attention then a 2 minute check then off to the next woman.

Also scaremongering is very unhelpful, the nice guidelines state women should be told childbirth is 'extremely safe' which it is!

I know someone who home birthed her first and second baby, all very easy going and positive, she would highly recommend.

I had my first in hospital as I was induced at 42 weeks.

I'm pregnant again now and providing I have a low risk pregnancy I'm opting for a home birth. I live very close to the hospital, less than 5 mins/10 in heavy traffic and following my last birth I have a better idea of what to expect. I don't think I'd have been brave enough first time round but I certainly respect those that do.

I think it's important to balance up all of the risks and make sure you have as much information as possible. I can appreciate that flower had a scary delivery which would have ended badly at home but I think it's unfair to imply that you are being brazen with your child's life in choosing a home birth. They can be very safe and create a really positive birthing experience!

Good luck.

If your midwife is supportive that's a great first step. Make sure you're well informed - there are lots of resources available, Google homebirthers and hopefuls and the Positive Birth Movement. Personally, I think birth is as much a mental as a physical event and making sure you're well prepared is really helpful. There are good birth preparation programmes out there (I don't consider myself a lentil weaver and managed to find a programme that worked well for me -PM me if you'd like more info). The intention of the best of those programmes is not that you have a particular 'type' of birth, but that you have a 'good birth', one in which you feel you are making informed choices that are right for you personally (birth is totally unique as are most other experiences in your life. Just because one person had an experience, good or bad, doesn't mean you will). I've heard people say there's no point preparing as in the day 'it'll all go out of your head', but I don't subscribe to that view. I think understanding what's happening, not being fearful and having extra coping tools at your disposal are all to the good. Whatever happens. As you really can't know what lies ahead.

But. A supportive midwife and partner are a great start. As one who homebirthed the first and second, and is preparing to homebirth the third, I would really advocate it as a lovely, calm, warm, comfortable, happy, relaxed experience. One of the best of my life (and neither of my two were entirely straightforward). But I felt confident I knew what was happening, that the midwives wouldn't take a moments risk, and that I was prepared for all the potential eventualities. Good luck to you, I say!

bees and butterflies you are a statistical sample of one =insignificant. Even adding in your group of friends would not be a statistically significant sample. Proper scientific studies look at many participants and so can generalise about outcomes realistically. Just as my anecdote about my nan was just that statistically insignificant. I used it to try to counter the automatic references to the 'good old days' before birth was medicalised and women took control of their own births. Well yes they did but don't forget they didn't all go right.

Things going wrong are not an inevitability but very few pro natural birthers give clear facts about the risks of childbirth (minor and major risks). All I'm saying is access all the facts, weigh up all the risks and THEN make a decision.

I had a home birth 5 weeks ago and it was amazing. I would completely recommend it.
Cord prolapse is very rare and there's no guarantee that if you were in hospital that they would be able to save the baby.
I made myself as informed as possible, spoke to my midwife in great detail about the risks and reasons why transfer might be necessary and decided that it was the best choice for us.
It was my second baby though, I was too scared to do it with my first. I managed my first on just gas and air and she was back to back so I knew I could cope with the pain without stronger pain relief.
Just bear in mind that I think it's around 40% of first time mums that need to be transferred during labour whereas it's around 11% of second time or more mums so as long as you're prepared to need to transfer if needs be then you should be fine.

Complications don't usually just appear. things like emergency sections are a result of hours of monitoring of you and baby and a decision being made that baby is in distress etc. it's not something that is done lightly but as a result of careful monitoring of the heart rate etc over a longer period of time.

Good luck. I really hope it goes smoothly for you xx

The notion that there is always time when emergency sections are involved is just not true. Sometimes there is time and sometimes there isn't. You don't know which you'll be until you're in it.
And yes, when my cord prolapse occurred the midwives and doctors bought time until I was under the anaesthetic. I won't tell you the details of how they did that but I will tell you that it was the most painful experience of my life and there is no way I could have travelled to a hospital like that. In truth, in a home birth situation they wouldn't have known about the prolapse. It was only because I was hooked up to the monitor that they knew. My baby would have been still born.
It isn't scare mongering to tell the story of a cord prolapse. It's real and it happens. When you choose home birth it seems to me that you are putting your own need for comfort ahead of your baby's potential medical needs. I could never make that choice.

There are risks for home births and there are risk for hospital births. One is not safer than the other. It depends on the woman which option is best for her.
For me personally, there are more risks with a hospital birth than there are with a home birth. Due to a very serious trauma when I was younger, a hospital birth would put so much stress on me, that it would not be healthy for either me or baby. On top of that I have a form of autism which means that I do not do well in strange environments. All of this together will make it impossible for me to relax while in a hospital. I will only go in when I have to, but if not, I'm staying home.
I do not appreciate the sentiment that I am endangering my baby by choosing for a home birth. I know for a fact that the stress a hospital would put me in would endanger my baby!

When you book home birth and have a home visit (in my area) they discuss all these scary things that can happen eg should dystocia and others and they basically say they transfer you very early if anything is at all out of 'normal' and if an emergency does arise they do the same at home as they do in hospital (like you say transfer would not be comfortable) the only thing you don't have is a theatre.
For me they said it would take 12 mins to call and ambulance and get me through a theatre door and it takes longer than that to prep/clear and prep a theatre even if you're in hospital.
Looking at risks is about balance and NHS midwives are not in the business of risking lives. Home births are recommended for low risk women because the outcomes are proven to be better.
I'm sorry you had a scary experience flowers but saying that home birthers are intentionally risking their babies lives is completely factually inaccurate and that view is very patronising. Let alone disrespectful to the midwives who care for women at home.

Argh wrote a reply twice and had it disappear twice.
Flower I'm sorry you had such a scary experience and appreciate why you feel the way you do. I do completely agree hospital was the best place for you to have given birth. However I find the statement that by having s homebirth I was 'putting comfort above my baby's medical needs' really hurtful and quite insulting.
I was advised to consider a homebirth by the midwife at my booking in appointment due to my first birth being so fast (recorded labour was only 2.5 hours). It turned out she was right and I wouldn't have made it to the hospital in time. I think it was far safer to have my baby in a planned home birth environment than an unplanned, unattended home birth or on the hard shoulder of the motorway.
It was not a decision I took lightly and I was very aware of the risk of cord prolapse as it is the only situation from my research where the outcome is not as good when at home. I spoke to several midwives and consultants who reassured me and had late private scans to check position of baby and cord, as prolapse risk increases if baby's head is still very high. I also agreed with hubby that if waters went very early in labour we would consider transferring if baby's head wasn't yet engaged for he same reason.
Yes there is risk associated with home birth but there is also risk associated with hospital births, Included increased chance of intervention to 'speed things up' when it's not always necessary, which can cause distress to the baby and end up assisted delivery or section which can be traumatic for mother and baby. Of course intervention is often necessary but often it isn't.

Intervention is sometimes vital to the safety of both. I don't agree that there is equal safety between home and hospital birth. Statistics on this will always be flawed as when women are transferred to hospital during a problematic home birth, the statistic becomes a hospital birth statistic.
It is simply untrue to say that midwives can do everything at home that hospitals can. Home births are perfect for entirely normal births. However, as with my experience you have no way of knowing whether that's what you'll get- hence it is a huge risk.
Yes people used to regularly give birth at home. Hospital births used to be very rare. Infant mortality used to be very high. We don't want to return to the dark past surely?

Statistics on this will always be flawed as when women are transferred to hospital during a problematic home birth, the statistic becomes a hospital birth statistic.

You are wrong about that. Certainly the survey by the Birthday Trust compared planned Home births with planned hospital births and treated transfers differently.

For all outcomes, planned home births were compared with planned hospital births, so the data for planned home births include those births which occurred at home, and transfers to hospital. Separate data for transfers is also provided.

I must just add that I'm always saddened by the perception of hospital births by home birth advocates. It's not the 1950s! In hospital you get your own room with lights that dim, a birthing pool if you wish, birthing balls, a kitchen with a flow of drinks etc etc. You can play music, watch TV etc etc. Yes you'll probably be left alone at times but you have a buzzer which they respond very quickly to, and your birth partner at your side.

Also, the cord prolapse I experienced was with my second baby. My first was an entirely natural labour that ended with a significant hemorrhage from which I may not have survived at home. Again, there was no anticipating it- it just happened and the doctors responded swiftly. I was told I had to go to hospital for my second (although I would have gone anyway).

Well tbh my hospital birth wasn't positive and I'm also not a 'home birth advocate'. I'm an advocate of women birthing where they feel safest as fear will halt a labour and make it more difficult and painful. I didn't have music or a TV or nice lighting in my hospital birth. I kept being told I wasn't in labour and made to sit in a little room with harsh lighting and roasting as j couldn't get back in the car. By the time they realised I was in labour they admitted me to a surgical type room with fleuresvent lights and made me birth on my back while being strapped to a monitor which made my contractions far more painful and restricted my movement (I know monitoring is sometimes necessary but they couldn't explain to me why it was in my case).

Other than cord prolapse, from my research I have yet to find another situation where home birth has more risk than a hospital birth. The midwives have all the equipment there that they would have in hospital.

I think if you want to birth in hospital then you absolutely should do so but I hate it when people automatically assume that home births are riskier without undertaking any research.

I don't understand how it's the 'dark ages' to want to birth my baby in a familiar environment where I felt safest as it ended up being a much better birth for me and my baby.

If you can find a way to guarantee no complications then go with home birth. Until that's possible, go where there's all the equipment and skill to deal with all eventualities.

Make birth more about the ultimate goal and less about the mother's experience. In the end, a healthy baby is all that matters, not how marvellous the experience.

Yes, the heart monitor annoyed me too. It annoyed me when it needed readjusting because my baby moved. It annoyed me to be connected up to it for what felt like hours. In fact, it annoyed me right up until the first contraction when it told us all that my daughter's heart had stopped and led to the intervention that ultimately saved her life. It was much less annoying then.

I don't really think there's any point in continuing this tbh.
I personally don't believe that birth needs to be medicalised in the way it is in our society. You clearly do because of your experience, which is understandable.
But don't sit there and insinuate that women are selfish for wanting a positive birth experience. I didn't want a positive experience because i 'couldn't be bothered' with a difficult birth. I wanted a straightforward positive birth because i believe it was best for my child. I've done a lot of research on the complications that intervention can lead too as well.
I'm sure you would be unable to guarantee that intervention did not pose risk yet people have birth interventions all the time, sometimes for 'selfish reasons' like being in a lot of pain from spd and having an induction to get things going. I would never sit and judge that woman because it's not my place.

If you can find me any research that guarantees no risks of giving birth in hospital then you might convince me of your argument! Of course neither of us will be able to guarantee a home birth without risk or a hospital birth without risk because nothing in life is without risk. It's about weighing up that risk and making a decision that works best for you and your baby.

For me, the risk of giving birth on the motorway seemed to be more dangerous for my baby than giving birth with two midwives in my home.

I would never sit here and say that a woman shouldn't have a hospital birth so I find it quite narrow minded of you to be unable to accept that someone else mught have a different opinion to you.

Also want to add that no where is equipped to deal with 'all eventualities'.

My opinion is based on my experience. I accept that my experience was extreme but it happens and it happens without warning. You're right- hospital births can also encounter complications. The difference is that when those complications occur, there are resources to deal with them. Complications in a home birth situation will either result in an emergency dash to hospital (harrowing and risky all round) or the potential death of the baby. I can tell you that the move from my delivery room to theatre (which was the next door room in the hospital) was horrific. The idealistic notion that if it all goes wrong, you simply transfer to hospital is exactly that- idealistic.
It is about risk, you're right. My stance on it is simply go where the odds are better should the worse happen. However low risk a pregnancy and however low risk a woman, you can never judge what will happen in delivery until it happens.