Has anyone had older children present at home birth? How did you prepare them?

[gallicgirl]

DD is 4 and will very likely be at home with us when baby arrives. DD was home birth too so have a fair idea how it will all progress.

Obviously we have no way of knowing how she will react to me being in labour and have a couple of friends on stand-by in case it all gets a bit too much for her.

Did anyone have their elder children present all the way through and what did you tell them beforehand? We've been reading a book that explains how babies are made and born in very simplistic terms but I'm uncertain whether to do more.

The birth pool arrived this week and DD keeps referring to it as a swimming pool and thinks she will be able to splash around in it. I've explained it's for mummy when baby comes but I'm wondering whether to show her some videos or photos or if that's all a bit too much.
I have found a lovely video of a home water birth where elder siblings are present and the shot of baby arriving obscures the birth canal and vulva so it's not particularly explicit. I can't decide whether I should show her this or just wait and see if she asks questions. I don't want to scare her but also want to be sure she's appropriately prepared.

What do you think?

Bees, I hope you find a way that makes everyone feel good.

When people are saying 'put in the prep' can they be more specific?

I'm starting pregnancy yoga soon, been struggling to do much exercise in 1st trimester, but trying to get back on track, and I'm wondering what else I can do to prepare.

Home birth is looking unlikely for me, due to bp, but I want to do all I can to make it a possibility.

(Sorry for the hijack!)

For me guyropes it was loads of prenatal yoga (yoga addict anyway) tonnes of dog walking I'm sure helped too, lots of practicing positions and never sitting back, the 'sifting' to get baby in a good position, hypnobirthing (really helped me), employing fab doula who was exactly on the same wavelength as me.
Hope some of that helps

Xx

Ps I'm very suggestible to hypnosis I know it might not be the same for everyone

Oh you know. Birth ball, natal hypnotherapy, exercise, all that sitting in the right position. Made naff all difference for me.

Oh right, thanks for the suggestions. I'll look some of them up. Sitting in the right position, hey?

I know sounds ott but worked for me!
Strongly recommend a doula though

The thing is, none of this stuff 'works' in a causal sense. If you do X you don't always get Y. Doing X can just nudge your odds of getting Y in the right direction. I'm not saying it does nothing, just that you can do all of it and have it do nothing.

Doulas are fab though. I agree

Totally agree penguins I did think of it as maximising my chances of getting what I wanted/putting the odds in my favour rather than any guarantee

I think if I was preparing for a hospital birth I'd be even more certain I'd need the doula

Agreed

Yeah, I get the 'maximising chances' principle... I know there's little I can do to avoid preeclampsia if it happens to me, but I want to do whatever little I can, even if it might be ineffectual in my case.

Did you have high bp before this pregnancy guyropes? I know little about preeclampsia but do know it's very rare even in women in the at risk high bp group
Do you have any risk factors?

My bp was normal at booking but had shot up at the 12 week scan... Might have been the stress. I had pre eclampsia with dc1 but not dc2... I've got a new partner now which increases the risk apparently. Anyhow they've got me as high risk and put me on aspirin, which I think is helping as I had normal bp at last appointment. I'm ready to see what my bp is doing at term, and if I'm well, I'll be asking for a hb. But I know I just need to wait and see.

I hope yours goes well.. When are you due?

Ah fingers crossed bp stays nice and healthy then! wondering why having a new partner would affect things?? Seems a bit random and unlikely

Dating scan on Monday (will be 13w) getting very anxious about it now, hope baby's okay, I'm a bit of a nutcase this time round. Totally forgotten how crappy the first trimester was! Due September

Yes, I thought it sounded unlikely but apparently it puts you in the same bracket a first time mum.

Good luck for the scan on Monday. It's really hard to keep a straight head about it, isn't it!

Is this dc2 for you?

You would have thought the more experienced we get the less we worry, but it seems not... We just more aware of what can go wrong.

Yes dc2, third pregnancy though had an ectopic last year society very aware things can go wrong. I know this ones in the right place we had a 7wk scan with hb seen but it's definitely rocked my faith in the process. Glad it's not just me who worries about scans

Not society that's meant to be so, silly phone auto correcting!

Confidence is key here, ladies. You can do it - just be informed and keep an open mind. Maximising chances is an excellent way to put it

I thought you might be interested to watch this tonight:
www.bestdaily.co.uk/your-life/news/a631085/trust-your-body-you-are-designed-to-give-birth.html

So you know, I did show DD the film and she watched a couple of times and asked a few questions. Still thinks she'll get to swim in the pool though!

It's this one on youtube, in case you want to see.
I take it the parents won't mind given that they've made it public. It's a lovely time, anyway.

Update, gallicgirl! I've just seen that you had your baby on another thread, come and tell us about it!

oooh yes, was your DD at home (Feel free to tell me I'm nosy and naff off!!)

My eldest slept through most of it. Got up c7am after the baby was born, but there was a fair bit of commotion.

Yay gallicgirl! Can't wait to hear