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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

3 months after birth and painful sex

18 replies

Snook99 · 28/01/2015 22:05

Hi,
I had my daughter 3 months ago was a natural birth all went perfect. Unfortunately I had 2nd degree tear which aparently was healing fine...

I bled for about 10 weeks, and had sex at the recommended time of 6 weeks. It was extreamily painful and still hasn't eased at all.

The only way I an explain it is there feels like there's a band and it's so painful I have to breath through it and claw at the sheets. But once past that everything feels 'normal'.

Has anyone had anything similar? Lots have people have told me it's not the same for about a year after child birth. But after speaking to friends they all say go to the doctors.

Any advise or suggestions please? Very much appreciated x

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 28/01/2015 22:07

Are you bf? If so, this would probably explain it as hormones stop your vagina being as moist (a sort of natural contraceptive!).

LillyEvans · 28/01/2015 22:10

Hi, we tried for the first time six months after the birth, and it really hurt. Haven't tried again since. Sorry I don't have any advice but wanted you to know it's not just you!

Original poster
Snook99 · 28/01/2015 22:17

Yes I am bf but it doesn't feel like it's dry, it's like just a small band and as soon as we get past that it's fine but even if my oh slips out (sorry for tmi) it's sill just as painful. If It is because of bf does it ease after a few weeks of stopping?
Thank you (I dont feel so much like an alien!) Smile xx

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 28/01/2015 23:12

It got a lot better for me after first period. We used lots of lube and eventually I got an oestrogen cream for vagina. I didn't get my first period for 18 months, hence the need for lube etc!

sparkysparkysparky · 29/01/2015 16:11

Speak to GO.

sparkysparkysparky · 29/01/2015 16:11

Or even GPAngry

ch1134 · 08/02/2015 09:32

3 months is quite soon. I had a tear which still hurt (not just after sex, always) at 4 months so wet to the doctor and she said I has granulation of the scar tissue and sex would probably hurt for the next year. However, about 8 moths after the birth it was fine.
So upsetting, but normal. Maybe go to the doctor?

HyperThread · 08/02/2015 10:38

6 weeks is very early after a second degree tear. When I had my 6 week check GP told me I wasn't ready for sex and should leave it to heal for a while.

Hopeful83 · 09/02/2015 16:46

I have exactly the same issue. My LG is 13 weeks. sex is very painful and feels exactly as you describe. I had an episiotomy. I asked my GP. She examined me and said it had been stitched a bit tight. She recommended lots of lube, massage and keep trying. If this doesn't work, she can refer me for a procedure by a gynaecologist but that's a last resort. I'm also finding that I bleed after sex. I think from the scar tissue

LBOCS · 09/02/2015 16:49

I had a 2nd degree tear and like you, we tried after 6 weeks and it was exceedingly sore. We did persevere, off and on, and it stopped hurting at about the 8/9 months mark. The only pain I get now is when we do anything from behind (spooning, etc), and I'm thinking that when I have another baby it'll probably sort itself out.

snowydrops · 09/02/2015 20:29

I sympathise with you!! I had a third degree tear after first birth, it healed well and I think we tried to have sex 8 weeks on...and it hurt like hell I remember. Weirdly I was sort of determined to do it just to get it out of the way.

For months it was sore...I went back and it was apparently healing ok. I would say it actually took about 8-9 months to feel relatively normal but if being really honest still hurts sometimes (like a graze?!) even now three years on. It's not bad at all now and wouldn't put me off sex so I'm not trying to scare you more just to say go and get it checked and I guess if it's healing ok it's probably normal unfortunately. It's one of the things I found hardest about birth first time around. I have had a couple of other medical issues too but have opted for an ELCS this time and have to say am glad I will avoid any more damage as to be frank I enjoy my sex life and I found it a complete drag to still not be enjoying things months after the birth!

Royalsighness · 11/02/2015 17:20

I had episiotomy and had sex after 4 weeks Blush it did hurt a little and it was almost as if I could feel the cut all the way inside but I had been using a lot of witch hazel, arnica and generally harassing the area with salt and lavender baths to help it all heal. I also breastfed which I felt made everything close back up quicker.

Do you think it could be the way your scar has healed causing a tightening where the tissue has fused together, changing the shape?

ChristmasEveMummy · 12/02/2015 19:17

Just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel and it's horrible isn't it? I also had a 2nd degree tear. The way you describe it as a band is what I feel, once my OH is all the way in it's not too bad although still tender.

I suspect probably a combination of low oestrogen and ongoing healing process. Would be worth a trip to the GP though for reassurance that all is ok and as other folk have suggested, to make sure the stitching isn't too tight.

I'm beginning to think it's true what they say - it takes 9 months to grow a baby and 9 months to recover afterwards! I naively thought I'd be all back to normal by 6 weeks Hmm

TheTertiumSquid · 13/02/2015 17:20

I had this too. It's because the new scar tissue is very tight and not stretchy like normal vaginal tissue. I had to do massage (like perineal massage before birth) to stretch out the scar tissue. Took about 6 weeks of massage everyday to be able to face sex. The GP also gave me some local anaesthetic gel to take the worry out of it, but I only used that once or twice.

WhizzPopBang · 13/02/2015 20:14

I didn't event give birth naturally (EMCS) but sex still hurt for quite a while after having DD, a good six months I reckon. Sort of burning sensation... It did get better and was totally fine after a while.

gaahhnonicknamesleft · 13/02/2015 20:18

I went to the docs at 5 months, she checked I was all ok (just a little red) and she gave me a cream that is a local anaesthetic. That was great, also got me past the fear factor.

Should have named DS2 after that cream....

Horseradishes · 13/02/2015 20:54

I had a section too, yet sex was not attempted for six months and I struggled even then...

Id say give it more time, it takes a long time to heal.

Cisforcat · 15/02/2015 12:42

I'm a bit of the opposite. I had an episiotomy and forcep delivery yet had sex 6 weeks after delivery and it was fine. I've never had pain and wasn't too uncomfortable either. I'd get checked out to put your mind at rest.
Don't think I'll be so lucky after this one reading all these stories!

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